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Last night my gf and I have finally had "the talk".
She opened up to me and told me about her past relationships.
I handled it well through all the details and shit, but now after I woke up, I feel slightly depressed and disturbed.
She basically felt really shitty about her breakup and a week later she was already in the arms of another dude, some druggie who for some reason left her deeply marked. She claimed she was literally insane. They wanted to marry and they barely met 2 weeks ago.
The druggie broke up with her (thank the lord), and when I asked whether she would have broken up with him herself, she reluctantly said no, or rather, she was frozen every time she thought about it.
We agreed that next time we have a few hours to spare, it's my turn to talk about mine.
How do I not feel shitty? We've been for a month together and we haven't done half the shit she did with the ex.
They only lasted 4 months mind you, and I'm the third guy in her life, almost a year later so I think (she also said) that she's alright now.
I ask you /adv/ how the fuck do I not feel shitty about it? How do I stop this actual, physical pain in my chest?
I thought we were doing great together for a month in, then she told me all the stuff she did with the last guy (he was rich) and I feel like absolute shit.
Never in my life have I felt like this. I'm this close to kill myself, man. I can't bear the thought that she will likely always think about the honeymoon phase with the rich druggie and that I'll never be able to woo her that way.
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>I ask you /adv/ how the fuck do I not feel shitty about it?
Grow up?
>I thought we were doing great together for a month in, then she told me all the stuff she did with the last guy (he was rich) and I feel like absolute shit.
So you were doing great and you hear some shit that went down in their past and you go to pieces? Man, as you get older no one is a virgin and no one has been locked in a closet with no weird shitty awesome odd life experiences. She says she's fine now, and up until now you never knew this shit went down, yeah? Carry on.
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>>17541447
This.
Also, i highly doubt you'll end up marrying each other. Just have her for company while you do your thing and learn how to emotionally grow for the next better partner that comes along.
I myself have found a virgin girl at the age of 23 after a handful of fail relationships :x she's almost my 10
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You need more baskets, OP.
Never put your eggs all in one basket.
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>>17541514
I have one too many baskets and as she already knows (part of it), I'm very emotionally detached because I learned long ago not to get too involved. I hope she doesn't think I'm too cold and I hope to prove her that I'm not.
Can I just tell her I'll be there for her and I'll be at her side? I mean it, and we get along handsomely.
I don't think it's too weird or soon to tell her I care deeply about her (which I do)
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>>17541614
Dude
There is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone because of their baggage if you are not okay with it and it certainly doesn't sound like you are.
Her history won't change, it's on you if you think you can look past it or not but honestly I think it's better to go with your instinct. If you were torn enough to post about it probably it's affecting you more than you realise and it's better to end things sooner than later.
Be nice about it though, just cos yu two won't work try not to make her feel like it's all cos of stuff she can't change, even though it is.
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>>17541648
I'm conflicted. My past isn't really all pink and fluffy either, and since it's been a year since her last breakup with the rich guy, I tend to think she's actually ok. She's never done things to make me question our relationship and yesterday we just talked, and after she started to unload the baggage on her heart, she asked me if it's ok for us to talk about it, and I told her I'm actually glad she told me everything (which I am).
It's just that I'm a little disturbed because that's the shit I only ever hear in shitty TV series. I never had to deal with this before. It's not like I can't, I just don't know how.
I want to tell her that I care deeply about her and I hope she does too.
Damn I need to talk to her now...
Just wanted to know /adv/ take on this.
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