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So here's the deal: I'm 22 years old with a long-term girlfriend (going on 5 years) and a year-old son. I love my son dearly but I am struggling with a video game addiction and just being a lonely fucking loser in general. My girlfriend and I have had our ups and downs over the years due to early infidelity on my part, and more recent infidelity on her part. For the past few months I've been unemployed, but recently got a job at a factory where I'll be making decent money. My girlfriend and I are starting to get on better terms now, and things are somewhat looking up. I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, but I've never been able to hold down a job for longer than 7 months. All of my jobs have been pretty much minimum wage until now, though, and I haven't really had much responsibility in my life until my son was born just over a year ago. I'm really struggling with the concept of family life, having come from a broken home with two emotionally unstable asshole/incompetent parents. I'm afraid to be like them and already see it happening. I want to be a great Dad but at 22 I don't feel ready for all this responsibility, and honestly would prefer just spending most of my time alone and playing video games. We didn't plan for our son, and I knew she'd been using birth control and (hopefully/probably) wouldn't manipulate me to get pregnant at 22 without a plan. I genuinely want to believe it was a (somewhat) happy accident. But nevertheless, I wasn't ready for it. For any older anons who have maybe gone through similar shit, advice?
Also, I'm living with my Dad and stepmother (who are generally pretty cool, well, my stepmom is anyway) since I got kicked out of my girlfriend's place for fighting with her and breaking a bowl. I think this was sorta fair, since we had a baby and all and I don't want him witnessing that kind of shit, but it's made things all the more hard for me not being able to see my son everyday (we are on opposite sides of town and I have no car).
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>>17541328
Life is just really kicking the shit out of me right now and I hate myself and what I've become and I feel completely worthless and need help. Can anyone help me, please? I know I'm pathetic, and coming to 4chan for advice is a bad idea, but it's familiar here. I'm already going to therapy which is helping somewhat but me and my Dad are on unsteady terms and I never know when the other shoe will drop and I don't have many other places to go and still rely on him for shit (which I can tell he enjoys somewhat, as it gives him power over me.)
I just don't know what to do. My life sucks. Is there a way I can make it better and soon? I feel so unmotivated most of the time and kinda just want to give up altogether and run away and never give a fuck ever again. Fuck life. Fuck me, and fuck you. I hate all of this. I'm a spoiled Western brat and life is completely meaningless as it is. I've thought about becoming a criminal or joining the Army or some shit just to get a kick or two. I wonder if I'm a psychopath and I really don't want to be, but I've never gotten along with or liked people and I'm on here so what does that tell you? In fact, I hate most people. Again, these opinions aren't very original or anything though, and I'm getting off topic. I just need help figuring out where to go in my life. I have no idea and never really have. I hate it, is all I can really say.
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>>17541328
>>17541377
fuck you
I fucking hate kids under 25 that have kids like it's no big deal
kids having kids disgust the hell out of me, so fuck you
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>video game addiction
>one year old son
>unhappy LTR
>cheating whores
>shit work history
>22
>lives with parents
lololol
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Man... I haven't been in this situation. I'd suggest just focusing on being as successful as you possibly can be. Work the best jobs you can get, maybe look into the navy or something.
I recently had a fuck buddy who was begging me to fuck her without a condom. She wasn't on birth control either. I just pulled up my pants and walked out, because I was afraid she would get pregnant. It kinda ruined our fuck-buddy relationship. Judging from your post, was I appropriately paranoid?
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Maybe you should take a step back and have some time out from your girlfriend for a while? You can still spend some time with your kid. As you're living apart its much easier you can just arrange dates you pick up your son and spend alone time with him.
I think if you spend some time away from your girlfriend you'll be able to work out other problems first.
Do you care much for your son?
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>>17541328
no more losing your cool, no matter what happens to you always think and play it cool man. Its a tough shit situation, but sounds like you want to really care for your son.
So like the other anons said, take a break from your gf, maybe even forever, fix yourself up and look for a part time job, your soul focus is trying to better yourself to better your sons life.
Things are going to be come expensive very quickly, once you are competent have a steady job you can fight for custody for your kid, you can dictate when your now ex gf can see him. Then study, pick a hobby or do whatever but do your best to provide the best possible life for that kid, because he didn't ask to be born my dude, so make this miserable life a little bearable for the lad. imagine when he's old enough to understand video games and you and him can play games together
everyone needs a healer haha.
But of course you can do whatever you want, you are your own person capable of your own decisions and I'm not your fucking boss. GL
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