Need Long Distance Relationship advice

Because it takes more than just words thru a screen, it takes physical contact, emotions that can only be expressed by the touch and sound of another. The gaze into one's eye is incomparable to the video-feed of a pixilated image of an eye.

Sure she will be with you in a bit, but for how long? And after that, till then for the next time?

>i had experience in this, except me and my ex were able to see each other a few years later and have something good for a while before i fucked it up for us kek.

>>17539234
Wait, I'm sorry, so what do you need advice on exactly?

>Every time she's texted me, she's said she loves and misses me a lot. And that she thinks about me.

She cheated on you. Her giving you the blatant idea that she feels attracted to this guy and feels she is missing out on the whole dating scene should have been a major red flag.

>>17539302
>She cheated on you.
That's a huge jump and faulty at best anyway, she cheated cause she repeats how much she cares about him??? Where did you learn this nonsense?

>>17539310

>mental gymnastics.

Do you guy, I am just telling you what I see. And with that I am done with this thread.

>>17539234
>Long Distance Relationship
Lol

>>17539310
>what is manipulation

>>17539293
I know, but I would have never started a relationship with her again if I hadn't thought we could make it work. We can, but she needs more commitment.

>>17539301
I'm sorry, I guess I just need different points of view on the matter or something, I don't know.

>>17539302
>She cheated on you.
I've thought this through a lot with a cool mind before, and I don't really think so.

>>17539344
>We can, but she needs more commitment.
Correcting myself: rather than commitment, maybe she needs to be more... optimistic? As I said, I really think this time we can make it work. Years ago it was nearly impossible, but now it's not.

>>17539316
>mental gymnastics.
That's exactly what you're doing, stop projecting your weird insecurities on an /adv/ thread

>>17539328
You're jumping straight to the conclusion that she's a manipulator based off what? OP gave no information to indicate anything like that

>>17539344
Please give a straight question so we can better help you anon

>>17539234
>ldr
lol

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OP she told you she is starting to feel attracted to a guy at work.

She told you she has a need to go on dates and have fun stuff.

She asked for some time to think.

Umm are you blind or do you not see what she is doing? She is taking a break from the relationship to date around, get it out of her system and then come back.

Let me ask you, did she always text that she loves you and misses you a lot or did it happen during this one month break?

>>17539358
>Please give a straight question so we can better help you anon

I don't know ;_; I just don't really know what's going though her head. Maybe my question is just a simple: What do you think about this?
She's an meotional roller-coaster. I know for a fact she loves me and that if we break out, she'll be sad. I know it, she knows it. But even so she's still thinking about leaving me.

>>17539372
>Umm are you blind or do you not see what she is doing? She is taking a break from the relationship to date around

I know she might be doing that, we even talked about it before out break. That's really the only way she can come back to me without any doubts or regrets.

>Let me ask you, did she always text that she loves you and misses you a lot or did it happen during this one month break?
Always.

>>17539404
through*, emotional*, break up*, our*

Sorry lol

>>17539404

Normal healthy relationships don't take breaks. Just being honest buddy.

>>17539414
I know, but the main problem here is the distance and the doubts it brings with it, not our relationship itself.

>>17539430

If you can make this work out and you love her, then what seems to be the problem?

>>17539430
>>17539404
IF the relationships not toxic and doesn't detriment your wellbeing then I can't say you guys are gonners, most relationships have issues but with smart people, which you two might be, it really can be worked out


Majority of bad relationships come from genuinely shitty and dumb people, don't let yourselves think you're a part of those

>>17539434
Probably:

1. Her own personality combined with her current mental state. As I said, she's a very insecure and anxious person. She overthinks A LOT, and her life is kind of a mess at the moment (not really that much, but her anxiety and insecurities make everything bigger and bigger).

2. Her need of instant satisfaction/fun (surely increased due to point 1) like having a date with someone you feel attracted to may provide.

Also, note that all this drama is mainly because she doesn't want to leave me, no matter what she feels she wants now with this other guy. She says she loves me too much for that.
When she told me this guy had asked her out, I was ready for a break up (I thought: That's it. It's over), but she didn't want to. I think she's fighting for us in his own way (aka fighting against her own insecurities), but the uncertainty of our relationship is killing me.

>>17539454
Thank you a lot, anon.

>>17539485
in HER own way*

>>17539485
You know if you could somehow ease her anxieties in whatever way, in either solving them, distracting her or helping her change her view, I think she'll be eternally grateful and hooked on you.

I'm just hypothesizing from my own experiences, someone coming along and saving your day, it made me stay in a relationship a lot longer than I hoped to, but take everything I say with a grain of salt nonetheless

>>17539499
>You know if you could somehow ease her anxieties in whatever way, in either solving them, distracting her or helping her change her view, I think she'll be eternally grateful and hooked on you.

I know, and I already do this to a certain degree. She has always said that I'm the one that's able to calm her down when she's anxious or afraid or something.
*Btw, I've also talked about her if she really loves me or if she just needs my emotional support, and she says she's completely sure she's in love with me.

For example, one of the main problems of her life currently is her job. There's a manager that hates her, and this obviously this is a nightmare for her. She KNOWS she has to change her job, but job hunting makes her feel anxious. So she feels anxious because of work but she also feels anxious if she has to look for another one.

She herself knows she has to quit, but she keeps procrastinating it. I can't help her 100% if she doesn't help herself. I guess this might be a huge part of the whole problem.

>>17539234
not reading any of the other posts, and as a guy who wasted 3 years on an ldr, just BREAK UP.
LDRs are always shitty and always end badly.
You'll never get together, and you've already wasted years on nothing, basically.

>>17539495
What about Carlito's Way?

Your situation is similar to mine, but in an earlier state.

I started my LDR with my girlfriend in 2011. After 3 years, she started saying the same things you posted, the similarity is uncanny (guy hitting on her, wanting something physical, having problems with the distance, etc) We had many fights over this, and we eventually broke up in 2014.

I was devastated, and she proceed with her life, trying other stuff/relationship and the like, which was fine because she was single of course.

To not make this post too long, I did everything that was possible for me to live in her country (which is 7,000 km from mine). And so, in 2015, I went to her country and surprised her.

To this day we are still together, and happier than ever.

What I want to tell you, OP, is this: If you really love your girl, just do everything in your power to be happy with her.

>>17540027
This is so inspiring.

I want to do whatever it takes to be with her as long as she loves me. I really hope she doesn't leave me, though. I would feel devastated too.

Do you mind telling your country and where are you both currently living? Just curiosity. I'm from Spain, currently living in Peru (long story), she's from Venezuela, currently living in the US.

>>17541141
I was born in México and we are now in Argentina.

It can get hard sometimes, me and you could deal with the distance pretty well. Speaking for myself, I had no problem with it as long as I was talking to her no matter where. But she was different, she required something more physical, she had needs (her exact words). It also didn't help that her relatives started suggesting her to see other people, to the point where even she told me to see other girls near me to make sure I really wanted to be with her.

Right before we broke up, I was the only person who was happy with the relationship between the two, because of the differences in coping with the distance.

Just remember that women of course think and feel different from us. Your gf may be better than my gf in handling the distance, and she may not leave you like mine did with me. But anyway, she has needs and doubts that she cannot control, it depends on you to make the situation better.

Hope it works better for you anon, good luck.

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>>17539234
>I've been in a LDR with a girl for about 4 years now.

>>17542395
God, our cases are so alike that it scares me. Thank you for your advice anon, and my best wishes to you and your gf.