New spark?

File: 1471790786816.jpg (94KB, 828x960px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 828x960px

>>17538999
>He's been stressed with work and tired a lot
kek more like stressed because the amount of cum he shot into the other chick's vagina and mouth.

>>17539014
I know this will sound naive anon but he's really not that kind of guy. We both work hard, both very introverted, don't have lots of friends or social lives outside of work and a couple hobbies.

Are you his first steady girlfriend? If not what was his sexlife like with other women? He may simply have a lower sex drive than you. If that's so then it's a question of whether it's worth staying with him for it and if so, if alternative options like an open relationship can be considered.

I know some people who had a higher sex drive than their partner but decided to accept the new situation because they felt it was worth it. I've also known some who decided to leave because of it, or they stuck around and felt miserable due to it. This will really be something for you to determine yourself.

How long have you and him been together?

>>17539056
I am his only girlfriend ever, first everything. I've had a few other boyfriends, some serious, some less so. We've been together just over two years, living together for 1 and a bit. Things are serious between us and we talk about the future. I would stay even if sex was off the table forever and I wouldn't resent him for it. But he did seem to really love sex and get very excited about it. It's only the past couple months that the sex has essentially stopped. Nothing notable has changed in our lives that I can think of. He doesn't act at all like getting me off is a chore, he just seems disinterested in his own sexual pleasure. I am just worried if it's a different factor that I'm not seeing. I guess it's pretty hard for you to see something like that without knowing us in depth.

>>17539081
Just to be certain, him saying he's tired is from you speaking frankly with him about the sex situation? If this has only been going for a couple months, it's possible that this may be something that passes. Sex at the beginning levels can be hard to achieve as I'm sure you know, but maybe things can normalize back to the initial lowered levels with time. In the meantime, are there any sexual fantasies or ideas that you know he'd enjoy when he IS in the mood, to keep things interesting for both?

>>17538999
interesting how you never once mention initiating sex

you numb cunt

>>17539134
Yes in frank honest conversation his answer is that he's sorry and that he's just feeling really drained from work. I tell him not to be sorry and that it's okay, and that I love him. I've inquired a lot about any fantasies he has and he insists that he's just a simple vanilla kind of guy. I've even convinced him to try out a few beyond my own realm of interest to see if anything strikes his fancy. I've done extensive googling and porn searching to find some ideas on the edge of my comfort zone that I hoped might appeal to him and he always says "I guess it's fun to switch things up but I still prefer just regular sex". I've asked him what he used to fantasise about when he madturbated while I travelled for work and he just said "touching your body and kissing you". So I really feel like I'm trying on that front.

>>17539138
Wew anon so quick to anger. I felt like it was implied that I do all the initiation. I tease him, flirt, even a little bit naughty hidden in a public place. I've tried all kinds of sex toys. I've tried waking him up with oral. Sometimes I walk around the house in lingere and I'll strip for him. I'll hop in the shower with him. I grind on him when we kiss in bed. His replies are "wow thank you anonette, but I'm not in the mood right now". Or "you look so sexy, but I can't right now".

>>17539213
>His replies are "wow thank you anonette, but I'm not in the mood right now". Or "you look so sexy, but I can't right now".
Sounds like me to my roommate when I got sex elsewhere.
Also check your bf's test level, this is now a health problem.

>>17539213
i have had this problem in several relationships. it always ended up with me being frustrated enough to break up. feeling unwanted sucks, but everyones libido is different, and its usually not something that you will be able to change. you sure hes not gay?

>>17539231
This is a good idea and something I haven't thought of yet! I will talk to him and see how he feels about getting tested for low t.

>>17539237
Yea I mean, I don't want to make it about me, but yes I definitely feel down about being seemingly undesirable to him despite trying to be my best. I don't think he's gay. He doesn't seem to have any special interest in men, no interest in anal, loves my boobs. If he is gay then he is very, very, good at hiding it.

>>17538999
Nice trips
Does he still mastrubate? Wanking and watching porn makes me less interested in my gf.
Maybe you can initiate sex?

>>17539251
could be a psychological thing, or even a physiological thing. some physical ailments can impact sex drive. maybe he should see a doctor.

Either he doesn't like you anymore, either he's frigid.
Both ways that's not good for you. Confront him with your desires. You do everything for him but tell him what you need.
Better sooner or this will not end well.

>>17539254
He does not masturbate that I know of. I attempt to initiate sex at least once a day, and I try to initiate it quite casually most days so that I'm not being pushy about it. Like his kissing his neck and saying "wanna play?" or gently grinding and putting his hands on my body when I'm little spoon or kissing down his body and his cock until he inevitably pulls me up and says he's not in the mood. Or saying "hey wanna get out of here" and wink when we are out in public or send him a dirty pic to his phone. Etc etc etc.

>>17538999
Everyone knows you propably gonna fuck some hotter Chad behind his back, so kill yourself you dumb roastie whore.

>>17539279
He's always apologetic about not wanting sex. He says he's sorry, he says "I don't know what's wrong with me" etc all the time. I tell him not to be sorry and that its okay. He went to the doctor once and he just told him to stop working so hard and that he seems to have chronic fatigue. Maybe he needs to see a doctor again or maybe he just doesn't find me attractive anymore. I haven't changed in any significant way since we started dating. I'm the same weight, I cut my hair an inch a few times, I don't dye it. My style and interests are essentially the exact same. We still go on dates (and we take turns paying the bill). We still say I love you and I know I mean it and I think he does too. We don't fight, we just get along really well. Maybe I'm boring? I don't know.

>>17539289
Why so bitter anon? I have been cheated on in the past and I would never want someone else to feel that pain. I love my boyfriend. Even if he decided he was asexual I wouldn't leave or cheat.

>>17539282
Seriously. You are not the problem, you're doing good work. I wish I had a gf like this. Get him to a doctor. Like an other anon said, maybe it's low t, maybe he's low on some other stuff, maybe he's sick.

>>17539282
Yeah, he's obviously not interested sexually in you, for whatever reason.
You need to confront him fully on that topic and get to the bottom of it, because that's not your idea of a relationship and it will end up hurting you badly.
Settle this before becoming self-hating and sour.

>>17539305
Because all you female whores are the same.
You 'love' his money and his emotional support, as soon as some hotter, richer guy comes along you'll dump him.

Or, if he's really rich, you'll get knocked up and take half his stuff and ruin his life.

>>17539298
try taking mdma together if youre not opposed to such things

>>17539335
This is a creative idea! Thanks, but neither of us do drugs or smoke. We occasionally have some casual drinks. Both pretty straight laced in that department.

>>17539313
Yea, it sounds like we ought to have a more serious talk about it.

>>17539343
if doctors have been consulted and recreational drugs are off the table, conversation is pretty much the only option left. be firm, but also supportive and understanding. "i just want to help so we can enjoy each other again" should be your tone and focus.

I am an architect. Now I am 30th years old. I used to have similar problems when I am in projects and overstressed by work. I never made pausas of 2 months btw, but I could be not capable for sex 2 weeks or do. Feeling tired, overworked and stressed kills in man desire for anything. Try to convince him that he need to take a break from work, go with him to some (preferably mountain) city. Go to walks and hiking, let him enjoy and forget everything sbout his work and duties. Drink every night bottle of good red wine and it will happend, he will be cured belive me. That is how my gf repaired me once, that is how I repair myself eversince.

>>17539586
Sorry for my bad english also... not my first language

>>17538999
I dont think you could ever talk about it enough if you still havent found the root of the problem. For whatever reason him not wanting to have sex is equally okay as you wanting to have more sex. So, you ought to either 1) find a way to make the arrangement work as it is now (allow him to help you get off, you initiate) or 2)Keep talking about it to maybe discover a secondary reason for his disinterest. But you may equally discover that he has become disinterested in sex in general, having nothing to do with his life or you.

>>17539586

I second this.

I will be honest and say I have no experience with relationships, but I do think that getting things off of the mind does wonders for anybody who loses their libido. For example, when I don't feel like masturbating, it's usually because I'm too stressed out with something that takes away time and energy.

Talk to him about it, and then ease into things that aren't sex-related or sexually thought provoking. His drive will come back the less he thinks or is made to think about it, as his appreciation for you will manifest into desire... kind of like falling in love again, except this time you both know that you can say, "let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing" without hesitation to each other. Ain't that swell?

I'm just talking from how I personally would like it, so I could just be talking out of my ass, but I write this in hope that it does at least give you an idea of how you could fix your little predicament.

Good luck OP. Whatever you, just know that you're in the right.