Waiting For a Relationship to Fail

>>17538787
Even if the relationship is a mistake, that doesn't mean he'll turn to you after.


>how should I approach waiting them out?
See mental help.

>>17538787
This is literally retarded behaviour.

>>17538793

I realize he won't necessarily turn to me after, but I'd like to know what to do to put myself in a position where he would want me above others when things end or at least to have the possibility exist

>>17538866

Well I'm between wanting to be in good standing for when they split and wanting to live my life unpreoccupied with whatever's going on with him, it just makes me nervous to go one way more than the other when I'm not sure what I should do, how much I should distance myself before moving too far away to have the chance should it arise

>>17538993
>I realize he won't necessarily turn to me after, but I'd like to know what to do to put myself in a position where he would want me above others when things end or at least to have the possibility exist
You can't. If he won't choose you now, it's unlikely he ever will. You will never be a priority in his life.

>>17538787
See
>>17538866

Unless you're organizing a political marriage, its just a waste of time and resources trying to short somebody's marriage. You'll spend 5, 10, 20 years hovering, expecting them to break up. And they might, but he might not want you, or he might just marry someone else, or he might not remarry. And you'll waste all your time because instead of moving on to the fuckhuge pool of other guys and seeing what you like there, you're obsessing over a guy that's already taken.

>>17538787
So you gonna wait 7 years by your math too get with him ?

>>17538787

You sound exactly like the women that hover around my husband at work and on social media, and it's hilarious.

>>17538997

Probably true.

>>17539000

If in 7 years they break up and I'm not already in a relationship I would reach out to him and see if we could make something work, I'm just stuck right now trying to figure out how to live my life without the idea I have to be ready for that day, it feels like an unfinished task that's getting in the way of the things I should really be focusing on

>>17538998

Well he's suicidal and she triggers his episodes so in any case I do hope they break up because he's miserable right now and I want him to be happy. Even if he just marries someone else i'd be cool with that as long as he's happy. I just have a hard time divorcing myself from the situation because I don't want to miss it when it fails or miss any warning signs if it's getting to be too much for him. You're right there are a lot of men out there, but there are few men like him, he's lived a really unique life and he's got the most compelling personality. I know I can be happy with someone else but I need advice on how to move on to that other person, and otherwise living single without letting the waiting dominate my life

>>17539016

Project more why don't you. I'm a man. Unlike those women who have little fantasies about your husband, this man I'm into had sex with me and told me he loved me, ;) or maybe that's exactly what those women who flock after your husband get from him lol

It takes all my willpower not to text his wife hey I fucked your husband

>>17539059
>Project more why don't you. I'm a man.
So am I, cupcake. Take off your crown because your queen is showing.

>>17539073

Lol I fucked your husband

>>17539083
Hell, you've probably fucked both of us.

>>17539090

I would think not? It's fun and all to play up like it's even a bit likely we have any overlap, but truth is my situation is ridiculously weird and unique in a lot of ways

dude trust me you don't want to know the shit I know about them, or how I got involved with them and all, long ass story

She's awful though I just wish she hadn't convinced him she needs him to survive

>>17539101
He's in an abusive relationship and the only person that can get him out of there is himself. Don't put your life on hold for this guy. I've known too many guys stuck in similar situations and they're beaten-down dogs that stay with the same person for life. It becomes the only way they know how to live. I know it can be difficult, especially in the gay community, but find someone nice that isn't drowning in personal issues. You deserve that, because even with the weirdness of your situation, you sound like a genuinely nice person.

>>17539126

That's very kind of you to say, and I appreciate it. She's lied to him and manipulated him and he's such a good person I just want him to feel like his efforts are noticed. He's always trying to find a way to fix what's wrong and solve everything but he doesn't get it's just the way she is. He even told me their whole relationship is about dealing with her issues.

:( I know that dating in the gay community is rife with people who have been fucked by life, but I just wished I could spare him from that, that I could help him break out of this pattern of abusive selfish lovers.

He's a really good dude, it sucks acknowledging there's nothing i can do to help him

if anything, I hope he lives. i'd like to see the day he's happy and I don't care who it's with

>>17538787

Wtf how old are you that you think you can just wait 7 years for someone

No contact ignore him

>>17539073
>Take off your crown because your queen is showing

that's fucking brilliant.i'm stealing it.

i don't know OP that's oddly obsessive for being so hypersexual. what's so special about him that you can't get from an anonymous stranger in the public bathrooms?

>>17541520

Haha yeah it was a good sass back

Do you mean you consider me a hypersexual person?

Well as for how he's special, sexually you're not going to find a tall muscular beautiful man with smooth pretty skin and the world's absolute nicest ass ever in a guy with a great cock and the best thick balls who's kinky and has killer stamina in a public bathroom anonymously without serious luck

but besides that he's the most generous, thoughtful, considerate, loving, romantic, affectionate, silly, committed, interesting, patient, obedient, nurturing guy ever

he's very kind and full of deep thought and emotion and he's got this beautiful strong underlying belief in the greatness of humanity and this dream to live a great and meaningful life

I love the man y'know, he gave me all he had at a pretty low point in his life and he wanted to spend his free time with me when he didn't want to deal with anyone else, he let me know what it was like to grant someone a little peace of mind for a while even when things at a larger scale sucked, i had that special and almost impossible experience of being able to make someone who's miserable feel happy even if they were just moments. when he and i were together it was like the rest of the world disappeared and all that existed is what we knew about life between us and the world that exists when we interact, how we feel about things and each other

I know the risk exists that it's just an obsession and not real love, but i really believe this man was the first person I ever truly shared an exchange of romantic love with, i really think i love him.

He told me he loved me and I choose to believe him

I just wish I knew how to live with the memories without letting them hurt or consume me, I want to be resolved and at peace so that if we ever get another chance we can just move on together starting from a new point not dwelling on what happened before

think about it this way OP

If your love life was a table at a casino, there'd be cobwebs everywhere. Like, literally, unfuck yourself and think about it: this is based on a biased estimation (observer-expectancy effect) on a ball park range of 5 years in which all sorts of changes (even just on your end) that can work against you, which you're not even sure he he'll turn to you.

Move the fuck on. In the time you wait, you can fix your line of thinking and find someone else.

>>17538787
How old are you and how old is he?
YOU think that their relationship is a mistake because you want him.
Did you ever had a relationship with him and he was lying you that he will break up with her in order to be with you?

>>17543445

I'm 21 he's 34, his wife is the same age as me.

I think their relationship is a mistake because 4 months before he proposed to her he tried to leave her for someone else, and whenever he describes the sort of partner he wanted to have she doesn't match the descripton. +they have nothing in common and they get drunk and fight, she triggers his mental illness issues too whenever they fight

They were in a long distance relationship before the proposal he and I were seeing each other while she was away. He was the one to tell me he loved me first

>>17543419

How am I supposed to fix my line of thinking? Sure a lot can change from one year to the next but I don't see why that means I can't just keep an ear out to see how he's doing

>>17543474
And why he left you and went back to her? That says something. I'd suggest you not to waste time of your life just waiting for a married man. And even if he breaks up with her,why do you think that he will come back to you? Unfortunately you are not his first choice,so you will never be. Even if he comes to you,he will just for a while until he finds the next one. I really wish you to find the love that you deserve and then believe me,you will laugh about all this.