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Anonymous
Failed suicide attempt, don't know where to go on with life 2016-09-05 05:13:57 Post No. 17534007
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Failed suicide attempt, don't know where to go on with life 2016-09-05 05:13:57 Post No. 17534007
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Failed suicide attempt, don't know where to go on with life
Anonymous
2016-09-05 05:13:57
Post No. 17534007
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Been depressed for years. I never did self harm or plan a suicide, I just kind of in a drunken state of mind said why the fuck do I keep trying and downed a bunch of sleeping pills, downed a handle of whiskey, and went for a walk in the woods. Woke up a few hours later with vomit all over me. Came back to my apartment like nothing ever happened, made up some story that I got really drunk with my friends to my roommates and then just went on with my life not thinking about it.
A few days later, I went to visit my best friend this weekend at his school and all of it hit me at once at what I did. Left last night without telling him and just had a mental break down in my room for the last two days. I haven't eaten anything in two days.
I just can't believe I would do something as selfish and egotistical as that. Just kill myself without even saying goodbye to him or any of my friends.
My last year of uni starts in two days, I really don't know how the fuck I can move on from this. Show up to class as usual and act like nothing happened, continue to wear this mask that hides how mentally broken of a person I am.
I still haven't told anyone about this, I'm a pretty closed off person when it comes to my emotions.
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Tell your best friend.
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>>17534232
I, I honestly don't know if I can do that. Just tell him, hey, I tried to die. I could've not been here and not leave a single message or goodbye.
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Tell your friend and family that you love them that you are happy to know them, then if you feel that life isn't worth living carbon monoxide poisoning is your best bet. Easiest way to clean up for funeral home and cheap.
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>>17535553
Beats keeping it in. Tell your friends and continue your year. Consider your 2nd chance at life as a way to redefine yourself while youre at it.
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>>17535558
I just don't want to put that burden on people I'm close with. They have their own problems. That's my self destructive thinking.
I guess I'll send it to him.
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>>17534007
You should probably eat then
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It's not that hard to kill yourself, ding-dong. You realized you want to live so start embracing life. And beg for help if you need to; there's nothing wrong with that.
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>>17535797
I got myself to eat a granola bar and orange juice just now.
I just don't know what I'm accomplishing by telling my friends that I'm feeling like shit. I'm always feeling like shit.
Friend still hasn't seen my message.
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>>17534007
/adv/ is full of normalfags that cruised through life, making friends, relationships and getting a future on autopilot.
You think anyone here knows a damn thing about depression?
You're posting in the wrong board senpai.
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He messaged me back, I honestly don't know if I can even read it. I just don't want to talk to anyone. I probably need help.
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>>17536185
Go see a therapist. But stay the fuck away from anti-depressants. They're just a bunch of false hope and miserable side effects.
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>>17536185
You can do it. You survived, that's step 0. You have friends, step 1 is also finished.
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>>17536190
I've tried therapy, it wasn't bad, I felt better when I left, but it never stayed. I just still couldn't find myself opening up.
>>17536192
I just don't understand where do I go from here. Like I've admitted basically to myself that I don't find my life valuable. How do I unfuck this part of me, naimsayin?
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>>17536621
It only takes minutes to fall apart but it can take years to put yourself back together. Nothing happens overnight OP. It's this that you've accepted this happened. Now it's time to climb the hill to recovery. Just be patient, know that time will pass, and one day you'll be looking back at where you started; at the bottom of the hill.
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>>17536674
*It's good that you've accepted this happened
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>>17536674
I don't ever want to be this close to the edge. I just don't know where to start, how can I muster the ability to go to class, knowing in the back of mind I just tried to stop existing.
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praying for you
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>>17535845
Ahahaha....
Bet you couldn't be more wrong.
Self harmers, depressed, mental patients and suicide attemptees be around her
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