Depression

I keep myself content by walking around the building and smiling while thinking of funny things in my head. People say they have no problem with it but I suspect people think it's weird. People have told me (outside of the nursing home at least) I don't talk at all or am weird and I always acknowledge it but it doesn't just go away. It makes me feel moot.

I do this thing with my ears like popping them when you're on an airplane. I developed it into a habit associated with my mental health and I do it all the time.

I don't know what to do that will help me out. My dad says one day I will just snap out of it. My mom always says to talk one day at a time.

I feel lower than human, like a eunuch or a dog.

I can just lay down all day and think until it's time to go to sleep without barely getting up to use the bathroom or get something to eat or drink.

I know there are labels like depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, but I don't think I'm exactly any of those.

I just want it to go away so badly. My whole life feels dead. Everyday I wake up and feel like I just died. Almost everyone I've talked to says it will not go away but you can live with it or recover from it. I simply want it to go away and be banished from my life. I never feel like a guy who can communicate on any level, do what I need to do to feel like myself.

In terms of work, I've been in the army, and worked labor, temp, and retail. I got kicked out of the army because I read exactly how to get kicked out without having a dishonorable discharge or something once boot camp is done before I even shipped out.

There is this cloud of nothing surrounding me. I feel like a screensaver on a computer. I think I have a brain and I'm just not using it.

Please help, I know how retarded my writing looks.

>>17533307
Are you in Uptown?

>>17533366
I used to live around there but now I'm in the near south suburbs

>>17533371
When you said you were in a nursing home I just assumed you were out north. You get a Haldol Dec? Noncompliance is a bad idea, son...

>>17533375
Yeah I get haldol dec and I'm compliant.

>>17533380
They wouldn't be going through the trouble and expense of a dec if you didn't have a history of noncompliance. Theres also the question of why you're in a nursing home and why you don't have exit privileges.

You need to be honest with yourself and begin developing insight.

>>17533400
I have a history of noncompliance, yes. I'm in the nursing home because I can't take care of myself and don't have exits passes cause I run away.

>>17533420
Ok, now that you've told the truth, what do you want us to do?

>>17533433
I need help.

>>17533449
With what, exactly?

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>>17533307
>A girl that I met who's new at the nursing home saw me an immediately clung to me. We had sex and later she told me she thought I was like a celebrity or something.

>tfw no crazy nursing home gf

>>17533450
I don't feel right. It's like a cloudy thing in my head where I don't act right and think right. My mind is always on the edge of something. I'm always moving around, without anything to do. I'm like a ping pong ball in the world and in my mind.

I don't know how to get out of the nursing home.

>>17533454
One time I was acting right and another girl clung to me and told my friend she had a wet dream about me.

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>>17533462
I don't think crazy girls are too attractive in there

Got pics?

>>17533457
Have you tried just chilling and going with the nothingness? Not worrying about it and just being?

>>17533457
>I don't feel right. It's like a cloudy thing in my head where I don't act right and think right. My mind is always on the edge of something. I'm always moving around, without anything to do. I'm like a ping pong ball in the world and in my mind.

That would be the schizoaffective disorder. Take your meds, seek therapy. /adv/ isn't going to be able to solve this shit for you.

>I don't know how to get out of the nursing home.

No suicide attempts, no self injury, no escape attempts, when you do get a pass you need to come back, comply with treatment, talk to the psych techs about what goals you need to meet for them to discharge you.

If all of that fails AND you have a place to go you can always sign AMA, but I'm guessing your parents aren't willing to take you in.

>>17533466
Her tit's are d's

>>17533501
Because she's on atypicals and is at least 80 pounds overweight.

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>>17533501
So are Rosie o'Donnell's

Frankly im not impressed

>>17533505
She is not fat at all

>>17533513
Bullshit.

>>17533520
Her fat comes out of her jeans but that is just because she wears tight jeans.

>>17533468
good advice.

I never realized mental patients had access to computers.

>>17533307
Give your medical and behavioral history. Flagship events as well as medication status at that point. And known family history and emotionally formative events.