Bdsm in a current relationship

>>17531332

>boyfriend of 9 years
>not married
>no kids

When was the last time you cheated on him? No one is faithful for this long.

>>17531338
I am. I honestly think sometimes it'd be easier if I was less faithful. I couldn't live with myself if I cheated on him. If I'm unhappy enough to seek another man I'll be honest and break up with him. I've been cheated on and know the damage

>>17531332
even bdsm would get old for you if that was all you did. Make another deal with him. Your way twice a month or once a week whatever. He can make love and you can too some and get your and his freak on some. I guess it bothers him where his mind goes when he degrades and commands you when in the real world he respects and adores you. Think about it, if you crave subjugation perhaps you are in the wrong kind of relationship

>>17531350

Stop deluding yourself with morals. You're a proper submissive cum dumpster slut and need to have your clothes ripped off, your arms bound and your holes used without mercy on a daily basis.

have you tried telling him that a blowjob isn't foreplay for you?

Also, consider bringing up the fact that BDSM is a very big show of trust in your partner and it can become really personal.

It sounds to me like he's not even really trying sexually

>>17531332

Honestly OP I am in the exact same situation except roles reversed. I am dom, but my girlfriend is very vanilla and does want to even try being a sub. Pisses me off. I am at my wots end because most of our relationship besides this is great.

Stop deluding yourself with morals

>>17531392

Yeah this x100. Stop deluding yourself with morals OP

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120KB, 1920x1080px

Stop deluding yourself with thoughts

>>17531356
That's an option. But how do I convince him I never think he hates me, no matter where his mind goes?
>>17531373
Tried that. He is a black or white person. I LOVE giving blowjobs but now he's convinced I hate it. I love him but sometimes he's a handfull.

I'll try talking about my way sometimes and try explaining the trust part again

>>17531332
It fucking hurts me when chumps have something they can't appreciate. It really does. I feel no sympathy for your boyfriend. He sounds like an unempathic tool. Because at the end of the say, that's what BDSM is about. Empathy. The way you describe he acts in bed is how stereotypical assholes descrive BDSM, and he seems to be doing that, too.

My rule for sex is simple: I don't do anything I wouldn't want done to myself. He seems to lack a similar rule. Just one of the millions of guys who want anal with a girl, but think that same plug up their own ass is "gay". So yeah, I'd put him to that test.

Then again, I don't believe in soulmate-ism. You can grow old with anyone you damn well please.

>>17531410

Deprive him of sex until he decides to comply with your wish to be borderline raped?

>>17531410

Tell him you love giving him blowjobs emotionally but that it just doesn't do anything for you physically?

I can see why you like him, a guy needs to have huge balls to think that foreplay means you sucking his dick, but BDSM doesn't give him enough "connection".

This isn't simply a matter of him not being into BDSM. He is a selfish lover. Confront him with that.

>>17531332

God damn it where do I find a girl like this. If you were my girlfriend I would roughly use your mouth and cunt and dump my load in you multiple times daily. My gf is the most boring person in bed. Like the other anon said some guys don't know a good thing when they have it. I will never understand how some guys can't get into this.

Is he familiar with sensual domination? Sensory play/deprivation tends to be more fun than tedious and it might be an easier way for him to ease into heavier stuff while still enjoying a more romantic connection in the D/s realm.

>>17531332
Romance is different in both of your eyes. If he was really that kind of gentleman he would have listened and respect that you open up to him.
I know how you feel and for me it took me almost 2 years to open up to her, it took a lot of communication and her realizing how important it is to me. Eventually she got the idea that i really need this in my life and that i am kind of unhappy without it, with no strings attached she looked into it and over the course of a few months she began to really find joy in it.
Good luck OP.