Ask someone who's currently living through trauma repressed

What kind of trauma we dealing with here?

>>17529224
Why don't you off back to >>>/r9k/?

>>17529230
The original trauma occurred when I was 10ish. I watched my best friend fall into a psychosis as her own childhood schizophrenia emerged. It fucked me up royally, and for some of it, I have dual sets of memories of what happened.

I then ignored this trauma, and filled the void with someone else who was very problematic. I lost contact with them only a year ago, and now that I have no one left to distract myself, my repressed memories, emotions, and revelations are coming back to haunt me.

>>17529231
I don't post there.

Do you want a hug ?

>>17529243
Sounds kinda lame honestly. Like that's crazy and fucked up, but hey, whatevers gets you attention right?

>>17529245
I'd like to be able to stop thinking about this so I can be a productive adult. I've been incredibly stuck in my head for the past week. Alternatively, I'd like to know if she's alive or not, and maybe talk to her again for some kind of closure, but it'll never happen.

>>17529252
What? I have no idea what you're saying.

>>17529243
You saw your friend have a psychotic event? What was it like for them if I can ask?

I'm sorry about your situation OP.

>>17529262
What I'm saying is that it is shitty, but people have been through far worse without it controlling their lives 10 years later

>>17529271
You can't fucking decide what will fuck you up or not. For OP, that was it, for someone else it's something else.

Ignore this guy, OP.

>>17529263
I watched my friend have several psychotic events. I watched her go from my best friend to trying to kill herself, multiple times, in the hope that the voices would leave her alone.

What fucks me up is that I don't actually know what was truth and what was a lie. She told me her mother didn't take her to the hospital the first time she carved her arm up, (and I mean carve, they were words and intricate designs), her mom had a priest come in a perform an exorcism on their house.

But like I said, I don't know how much of that was true. Did she hurt herself? I remember her showing me scars, but I also remember her showing me pictures of her arms when they were bloody. I have no clue which one is right, or if either one is right. Did her mom really call in a priest? Her mom was a bitch, sure, but was she that crazy? Again, most of my information came from my friend, so how can I trust what she told me?

>>17529262
>ask if he want a hug
>tell him he'll like to stop thinking about this so he can be a productive adult
What ?

>>17529295
I'm sorry. I talk to someone who is schizophrenic, but I know only a little bit of what it's like to have such an event.

About the priest, you could ask their neighbours or relatives, but I can believe such a thing, I've heard many stories like this, and my own mother shrugged it off when I was very ill myself.

You saw the scars on her arms. That's pretty real, wouldn't you say? It does seem like you need to sort your memories out, and establish what the truth is. Maybe you can track your friend down.

>>17529321
I don't want hugs. I want my problems to go away so I can finally find closure and move on.

>>17529328
If you're posting on a image board instead of working your ass off to make your problem go away then you don't need help or you just don't have problems

File: Cq9YgeIUsAIVUZF[1].jpg (23KB, 600x512px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 600x512px

>>17529338
>then you don't need help or you just don't have problems
Yeah, just like the rest of the people who post on /adv/, right?

>>17529338
You have a point but there's no need to be a jackass about it. Some people just want to talk and need an ear

>>17529326
>You saw the scars on her arms. That's pretty real, wouldn't you say?

That's the problem. I don't actually know if I saw the scars on her arms. I legitimately cannot remember if what I remember was real. I have dual sets of memories from this point of my life, and due to it being so long, and due to it being traumatic, I do not know the truth.

As for tracking her down, there's absolutely no way. She isn't on Facebook or Twitter. Googling her name does nothing. She moved away before high school even started.

The only other person that I know that was around and knew a lot about the situation is an acquaintance, but at the time, she hated me and blamed me for my friend's descent into psychosis. I'm sure she doesn't now, but. Part of me is terrified to hear the words, "it's your fault this happened" about this again.

>>17529338
I'm trying to schedule an appointment with a counselor or therapist that specializes in trauma, but there's none at my college, and I don't have a car to drive further out.

I might not let that stop me and find a way, though. We'll see.

>>17529365
Ah, I understand. Your own memories are confusing you. I really hope you get to the bottom of it and distinguish the truth. Maybe keep a journal and see how your memories of the event come back to you and unfold. One thing I can tell you about repressed trauma coming forth is that it means you are now ready to face it and go through the memories.

It's not your fault for what happened to your friend. How could it be? I hope you don't believe that. From what I know so far, schizophrenia is hereditary.

>>17529391
Schizophrenia runs in my family. I actually know a lot about it. I know it isn't my fault, logically, but I'd be lying if the traumatized 10-year old inside of me thinks otherwise because she wants to blame herself for her friend's problems because that's what children do.

>>>>17529397
My understanding was that that's what children do with their own parents. Have you been conditioned?

>>17529405
Ah, no. It's association. You saw your parent (probably) have it and blamed yourself, so when the friend had it, by association, you blamed yourself for that too. Is that correct?

>>17529405
>>17529409
No, well, I mean, it's complicated. My family is pretty dysfunctional, and I already had low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression walking into middle school. But the only person I knew with schizophrenia before my friend was my grandmother, and I didn't interact often with her for obvious reasons.

Stop being such a massive pussy-lipped crybaby. Jesus christ, i've swallowed more pain and sorrow for breakfast