Sex trouble I am newly married, my wife and I are in out 20s.

How are you sharing the house chores? It sounds like she could be stressed with the new life at home together. Maybe you could do more stuff like cleaning, cooking or hwlping in general so she gets a little more free time to relax and be more open to your advances :)

>>17528890

This is your thread. Anon nails it.

You married her, try to make it work. Accept that your sex life will likely never be your dream scenario, and that your goal is to make an improvement from the current situation.

If you're lucky, a few serious discussions can make her realize that you need sex more frequently than you're having it now. If you're both on board with making a change, you can work together to figure out what works for both of you. Some couples for example find a set day of the week very practical and helpful; for others it kills all spontaneity and romance. So try some different things and encourage your wife to explore her sexuality and think about what turns her on (or off).
A tip I can give you, is that if you compare female sexuality to male sexuality, men are often kind of rigid in terms of how they view sex. In the sense that it's not sex without an orgasm, or not without penis in vagina, or that a steamy make out session is by definition foreplay. These are often things that turn women off. Find new ways to enjoy each other sexually. If she doesn't want to fuck you, does she feel like sucking you off or giving you a handjob? If not, what about letting you masturbate while she gives you a little show and/or talks dirty to you? You get the idea.

As for her tits, obviously you can keep bringing it up and looking for ways in which she likes them touched (sometimes soft touching is bothersome, but firm touching not or the other way around), but you have to make peace with this not being a favorite area of hers to be touched. You must have known this before you decided to ask her to become your wife.

>>17528919
Obviously the last resource is sexual therapy.

I also wanted to add that like the other post said, being relaxed and rested is quite important. Do not just talk about sex, also ask her about how much of her needs she gets met in the relationship. Having low self esteem/negative body image, and/or not feeling seen or appreciated by you (like you only ever giving affection that you want to turn into sex) can kill a libido. So can hormonal birth control and a lack of sleep, or a lot of stress.

>>17528924

Seriously this. Almost ruined a relationship because when I would get home from work, she would have dinner on the table and I would just eat and browse my phone/play games/watch TV for a few hours and then try to get some when she was getting ready for bed. She started getting really angry because she felt like I ignored her as soon as I got home, and I kind of was in retrospect, so we worked on giving each other attention and doing something together. She worked more hours than me (oftentimes taking work home and on weekends) and she takes care of the house and cooking, but it killed her libido. I had to get better at supporting her at home to make her want to have sex.

>>17528943
>Almost ruined a relationship because when I would get home from work, she would have dinner on the table and I would just eat and browse my phone/play games/watch TV for a few hours and then try to get some when she was getting ready for bed.

Can you explain why you would EVER think this is acceptable behavior? I'm genuinely curious.

>>17528890
This

>>17528957
Most of the time people don't realize what they're doing wrong, they're just doing them. It's easy to say it's wrong in hindsight, not so much when you're living it (not the same guy as this dude)

>>17528957

Pretty much what this person said >>17529006 . My job is pretty physically demanding so I just wanted time to myself and my own thoughts, and before I realized it was 10pm and time to head to bed so I wanted to show her affection before we went to sleep. I finally realized that sex doesn't really equate to affection if I don't also take care of her emotional needs too. I was definitely stupid.

>>17528957
It is a pretty common thing.
When you don't live together, you plan with your partner to have a date, go out together or do some activity together, stay at home and fuck, and shit.
When you live together, you tend to do what you'd do if you were home alone but with your partner around.
I don't know you, but when Ii get home alone I just eat dinner while watching bullshit on youtube, read a book, go to sleep.
And probably masturbate before bed.
You need some time to change your mindset.

File: kam-mccallister,lighthouse-night,longexposure-nightphotography-lighthouse-oregon-stars-milkyway-kammccallister.jpg (137KB, 640x405px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 640x405px

OP here

Very helpful input all around, I really appreciate it. I have some physical health issues and am typically pretty tired by the time I get home. Therefore it's very difficult for me to help with chores. I do my best to be emotionally supportive, but honestly I'm socially stunted and a bit of an autist, so it's difficult.

I've definitely noticed that when she's happy she has more libido. And of course I try to support her happiness all the time.

It's very difficult for me emotionally, as I tend to feel undesirable, unwanted, annoying, disgusting. She reassures me otherwise, it just doesn't sink in :-\

A relationship is a lot of work, and I'm willing to put in the work. Again, I really appreciate the guidance anons.