can things return to normal?

Bro I've been going through this for a year. It didn't work out for me at all and it's still left me trying to find some closure even after my ex betrayed me while we were "trying to work on ourselves"

>>17528482
As long as she tells you what's wrong, and works WITH you to fix it, of course it can be normal.

That's what everyone has to go through to make relationships work. It's why people say that relationships are work. It's just sometimes more work than what others go through. But everyone has to hash things out and fix things over the course of their lives together, because that's what happens when two humans come together. You're going to have problems.

If she actually wants to be with you, she'll be 100% honest about what's making her unhappy. Then you need to do everything you can to fix it. Likewise, if she does shit that makes you unhappy, she needs to fix that. But these are not solo activities. It requires both of you being committed to overcoming the problem.

Four years into my relationship, my girlfriend dropped the bomb on me what she was unhappy with our sex life. She was bored and confessed that she had never orgasmed, and that she secretly wanted me to go down on her. Well fuck, no problem, she should have just told me. After she did, we changed things up in bed and she's been a completely different person in terms of affection. She should have told me sooner. But whatever. You get the point? Problems have to be spoken about and fixed, ASAP.

The relationship is stronger as a result.

>>17528495
but the thing is she never told me she was unhappy.

this is my first time hearing about it. maybe im a little thick headed for not realising it.

arent couples supposed to go 'hey im not happy, lets work on this, this and that', instead of 'hey im not happy, lets break up'?

it's the thought oh her deciding that a break up instead of working things out could be a solution to her unhappiness that puts me on edge and makes me uncomfortable moving forward. how do we proceed with me feeling all this pressure and fear of her leaving?

>>17528490
did things get back to normal after the whole argument? was there any tension? any signs to look for if its not working?

>>17528512
Yes, they are supposed to speak up. But they don't always. Especially if they are young and inexperienced. It's not explanable--younger people just have a "flight" response to problems, rather than fighting them.

You need to say those things to her. The part about how you want to know why she immediately went to breaking up instead of working on the problems. Get her to explain herself. You two have to talk this out.

TALK. Not accuse, not get emotional. Talk.

You'll feel a lot better once everyone is honest with one another about why they did what they did.

>>17528512
listen to what anon said. he said she told him she was unhappy, gave specifics because he wanted to know and they both did things to make it better. You girl told you she was unhappy and you begged her to stay but nothing is being done by her to thwart the eventual break up. So your girl has already moved on and fired the first salvo of the break up.

>>17528564
>but nothing is being done by her to thwart the eventual break up. So your girl has already moved on and fired the first salvo of the break up.
Explain pls

>>17528629
do you have a thick skull? you had the conversation with her so I hope she told you what the problem was and if she did you two made a decision about what each of you would begin doing to work on the repair and both of you were doing these things. But I guess not.

>>17528524
Not really, I would think it got normal then it'll go straight back to shit for the smallest things. Honestly in the end I got hurt and she moved on.