How do you make friends when you have no friends?

>>17524095
How do you get to 1 when you have 0

File: TrekBabel4.jpg (163KB, 847x690px) Image search: [Google]

163KB, 847x690px

>>17524095
Befriend people.

>>17524098
>>17524101
Wouldn't it seem weird to hang out with someone when there's no one else?

It's been so long since I've had a friend. I don't know what even any more.

Try just talking to someone regularly.

>>17524095
If you have no friends its probably because you are a shitty person. Try and be less of a shitty person.

>>17524108
Find people around your city during events or activities (sports event/ bar/library/concert). Attempt to socialize then if you're scared of that try online people.

Same question, but you also have no genuine interests, or at the very least no interest in things people your age would even be interested in and it's not a social hobby anyway.

The best I can muster is "Well I don't dislike doing this I guess in some ways, but part of me would still rather be home staring at a wall than doing this." in just about anything I've tried. Nothing is fun to me.
Pretty sure I have some mental retardation/illness and should just kill myself. But I can't even be assed to do that either.

>>17524098
Read the book and find out

>>17524095
Are you funny? If not, then use cheap shock humor like I do. Laughter gives you a common ground with other people and you can further a conversation after you tell a joke. You don't even have to know the person, just start saying funny shit and the hostility towards you from being a stranger will evaporate. Be confident. You're not gonna get killed for talking to an average person.

>>17524098
this is impossible if you only have a monoid.

>>17524095
find hobbies and join groups with common interest.
easy.

Same. I think people think I'm weird and there's something wrong with me if they find out I don't have any friends and then they'll avoid me. I'm just scared to go and talk to strangers so it's nothing but a viscious cycle.