hey /adv/ I was wondering if anyone here feels like they fake

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I don't have any advice, but I can identify with what you're describing.

>>17523865
do you mind if I ask you what you do for a living?

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>>17523877
I'm 20, I just started my first year of college. I'm living in residence.

>>17523897
have any stories of your fakeness?

>>17523844

At least you're self-aware of your "fakeness". I know others that just go on living your life without ever thinking about it.

I would suggest focus on doing things you're passionate about. This will help you be more "like yourself". After that maybe find friends within said passion.

I think the most common problem with "fake" people is that they don't have any hobbies or anything. They just get fucked up and focus on career.

>>17523951
is that really a good thing though?

I know I'm aware of faking it, but I feel afraid that if people know how I really am, they'll hate me.

>>17523960

You're still pretty young in the world of social activity at age 20.

Yes doing things you're passionate about it is a good thing. Acquiring hobbies and interests will make you less fake to yourself. It will help you reflect more inward.

Its okay to hide things from some friends, although I think its good to have a few friends you can really trust. You can have your close friends, and your fake friends.

At age 20 you're more likely to find asshole friends, but its a good way to find out early whos a good friend whos not. Good friends are worth having.

good friends : tell them everything thats going on in you life.

fake friends : go out and party n shit

There was a girl I recently dated that lives her fake life. All her friends are bar friends. She has a lot of personal shit going on, and can't really talk about it to anyone. I reflected on myself I was glad that I have so many good friends that if I needed to I could talk to people about shit.

Imposter Syndrome is definitely a thing, especially prevalent among 20somethings. You aren't alone

>>17523982
I feel like I should exemplify my self some more
some of those things don't apply to me though.

its my fault, I haven't told you guys everything properly though.

>be in college for music writing
>fail at some basic courses for music
>mind you my major is music writing, not music performance
>constantly feel as though everyone who talks to me in that building knows that I suck at using my instrument (i.e sucks at reading music, i.e the thing that measures worth around most of these people)

>feel creative, write songs and make compositions
>people say they like them
>listen to them again
>maybe I'm not as creative as I think I am, these people are just being nice

the other thing that bothers me is that I feel like I'm sociable and say hello and try to strike up conversations with people
but
>no one really talks to me, I usually initiate convo
>no one invites me anywhere
>the only thing people ask me for is advice for something technical


when i talk to people I have to smile but I feel empty inside

when I engage in conversation its only so I don't feel lonely.

this is what I'm talking about faking everything.

>>17523982
>>17524012

tl:dr

Im not faking having shitty friends or having no hobbies.

but I feel like I faking happiness, and my accomplishments that I've earned are only through dumb luck.

>>17524012

People probably are being somewhat generous and nice with your songs. You could find people that are un-biased and ask for their actually opinion.

Well maybe you do suck at reading music, you could keep practicing and get better at it. You could also surround yourself with people that don't measure peoples worth by how they read music.

As for the convo's ...
I'm not sure what type of person you are, but people might not like you. Maybe you rub them the wrong way. Although I noticed the same thing when I was your age too though. It could also be that you're just not good enough friends with these people yet. You need to engage with people that make you feel more genuine. Maybe they already see you as fake and not really interested in what they have to say, because you're not. My advice would be to talk to people more like yourself. If you want to engage with these people, be more like them and genuinely interested in what they have to say.

>>17524059
>find more people like myself
I've tried.

I have trouble connecting with people who aren't 4chan type, I know that sounds so stupid. but thats the only way I can describe it.

I try to look for people I can actually act like myself around people, but there simply isn't (besides like a few really good friends that don't go to my college)

>>17524068

Try finding specific things in a person that would make them interesting to you.
I go to school thats all introverts and socially awkward engineers, but I'll bring up topics to them that I'm interested in. I'll make my topics interesting enough that they want to talk to me. Kind of selling the conversation on a topic that interests me.

example : nerd introvert student doesn't like talking, but I'll bring up a video game I like and talk to him about that. As well as segway into things I like.

>>17524111
>full of introverts and socially akwards nerd

that sounds great.

the music department is full of people who are literally the opposite of these things

>confident and well spoken
>mostly because they have to preform

the music department is not a place for composers who are socially awkward and introverts I.E. me.

which is why I feel fake most of the time I'm there. I often fake that I'm not an introvert. or that I'm not socially awkward. I hate it though, I hate it.

>>17524125

hmm most of the introverts just kinda stick to themselves at my school. I usually just get so bored I'll talk to anyone though.

As an introvert with only extroverts around I'm sure is difficult. You should look up some online stuff and how to talk to extroverts.

Learning how to communicate with all people would be a good tool to learn. I'm friends with introverts, because I know how to talk to them. I'm not really sure how it would go the other way around though.

I feel profoundly fake. Im wildly financially successful compared to my peer group. (Im 22 and I own a $75k home.) But I made all this money not of my own work but by ripping a bunch of other people off. Ive been making custom Yugioh cards for 5 years stealing talented Japanese artists work from Pixiv and official card art, banging it around in Photoshop with a card template I stole from some other guy, then printing it off and selling it online. My profit margins are absolutely absurd since the things cost literally nothing to make but a few pennies on paper and ink. I built this entire fortune on lies and other peoples hard work. I havent had time for much else for my artistic hobbies because of this project so creatively and achievement wise i quite often feel like an empty shell.

If you make music and you like doing it, thats great man. The world needs more original content from passionate people. If youre concerned about feeling fake it just means that you care deeply about making a meaningful impact in whatever you do. So keep working toward your goals whatever they may be. I just hope one day Ill be able to work towards mine.

>>17523951
>I know other that just go on living their lives without ever thinking about it

Maybe those are the people who are actually happy.
Maybe not giving serious thought to how disingenuous you and your life is protects you from a depressing reality.

They say that ignorance is bliss.

>>17524180

I think its more of a narcissistic attitude never reflecting on yourself. Some extroverts come off as fake though. I know when I look at the way I act sometimes I could see others seeing me as fake, but its just me getting excited usually or trying to get people hype about something.

It's called depression homeboy. Welcome aboard. Hopefully yours isn't coupled with anxiety.