General Relationship Thread

>>17521002
Why are you even in this relationship? Do you lack self respect or something? I just don't get people who stay in relationships where they're clearly unhappy.

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>>17521008
I moved 5 hours away from home for school. He's really the only person I have out here. I've been kind of depressed/homesick since I moved. He struggles with expressing his emotions sometimes for various reasons of his own. There's nothing "wrong" with the relationship itself, I just need him to make me feel secure in the relationship.

What he's doing, he considers playful, and it really is. I just can't take being pushed away right now. It's my problem.

>>17521052
>for school
So there's no reason you can't meet new people. Like I said, do you lack self respect? I can't stand it when people complain about their relationship when they do nothing about the situation, and I can't stand when people stay with cheaters and complain that they don't feel the same about them anymore. Ffs, if you're not going to do anything about it, shut the fuck up.

>>17521002
>>17521052
It sounds like he has some issues to resolve involving emotions and intimacy. It also sounds like he may be deliberating on whether or not you're really the one.

As for you, it sounds like you've got a guy friend to whom you've attached a relationship to, less than actually having one with him. If you can't fully open yourself to your partner you haven't even started being serious together, and while you seem like you need that, he doesn't seem willing or possibly even able to be that.

Take all this with a grain of salt. I haven't been in a relationship in seven years, I've just seen a lifetime's worth of them fall apart around me in my social circle in that time.

>>17521002
>Am I dating?
No. There's a girl I've been talking to but I don't see it going anywhere because of the distance
>Why not?
I'm rarely interested in anyone on my campus, and even if I am I always doubt that I'd be worth their time. I think I'm good looking. I'm not scared around women. I just simply don't feel like I'm a "dateable" person.

>Favorite memory with her?
Her laugh and smile
>What was the worst memory?"
When shit fell apart, her ignoring me
>If you could go back, what would you change?
Nothing. Nothing that I could have changed would have made her want to give us a shot again. It was just too long since we broke up
>How do they make you feel?
Not sure. While it's not her fault, I just started feeling worthless when it came to being a possible significant other for anyone. I gave her my time, efforts, affection, but she threw it away when she was done with me. She kept telling me she was interested, but too many things just got in the way, but kept insisting on keeping me around until I broke things off. I can never fully trust what a woman says after her, because I always feel like there's either some other thought in the back of her head, or that she's saying something to "spare my feelings."

Now I just feel most of the time "Why would a woman be interested in me when the girl of my dreams threw me to the curb when shit got too tough?"

>Are you dating? I've been in a relationship on and off for 8 years
>How did it start?
Met him through MySpace actually (I know) and we had mutual friends. Went to the movies with another couple, got along really well, and started dating a few days later.
>What's your favourite memory with them?
Honestly, there are so many, and they would probably seem really mundane. Staying in bed with him all day watching DVDs and playing video games. Running errands with him like grocery shopping or sitting at the DMV can even be fun.
>What's your worst memory of them?
He left me twice with a bullshit excuse both times, and ended up trying to get with my friends. He ended up sincerely apologizing each time, but if he does it again we're done. The first time it was right before I had ear surgery, and let me tell you, a broken heart and healing from surgery is not a fun combination. Add it being a few days before Christmas and it's even better.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
As much as I love being with him, I probably wouldn't have taken him back the first time he left. I have more self respect now than I did, and if he pulled that shit I would've laughed in his face when he said sorry.
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
As long as I don't dwell on the bad things he's done (I'm not perfect, so I'm not going to dwell on bad decisions he's made) he makes me feel so happy and carefree in any situation.

>Are you dating?
Yes
>Why/why not?
Because it's nice to care about someone who also cares about you.
>How did it start?
I met her at a party of a friend of a friend I was invited to, it was also the first time I actually got drunk so I was feeling light and told myself I would talk to everyone I didn't know and by the end of the night I asked her for her number then we just started talking a bunch

>What's your favourite memory with them?
Our first Christmas together she made me this dorky picture that spelled out the words of a song we both like but replaced the lines of the letters with lyrics from various songs we enjoy, I thought it was incredibly cute and still remember it fondly to this day.
>What's your worst memory of them?
I don't handle emotional confrontation well, I respond commonly with reasoning and logical answers which women don't seem to get so whenever there's a problem that occurs I can't help her emotionally like she needs which makes me feel helpless.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
I'm not sure honestly I don't really dwell on what ifs and regrets so probably nothing
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
She makes me feel like I can talk to her and I really appreciate it.

>Are you dating?
Never dated before.

>Why/why not?
I want to but haven't found a datable girl; most
have bfs the ones I talk to. Another fact is that
most of the girls I talk to are from other countries (US,
Europe, Australia). Am college student.

>How did it start?
I don't know

Just fuck my shit up. How do I fix this!?

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>>17521058
Let me break this down for you since you're having trouble capturing this from my perspective:

>We've gotten over the breakup, talked it over, it's all good.
>Trust issues are stemming from the fact that I'm scared of ending up alone here again with no one.
>This is my problem.
>I've had friends and family leave without a moment's notice, this is something I must work through.
>He's putting in a serious amount of effort into the relationship now.
>When I'm with him I'm happy. All is great.
>When he's gone, I feel alone.
>I need him to show me /more/ physical and emotional reassurance.
>I have discussed this with him.
>Problem was solved for a little while after he showed more intimacy.
>Problem came back when things started to get busier.
>He is going through some stress with work and this coming semester, doesn't need to keep hearing that I need more attention.
>I need to solve this on my own.

I just needed to put into words how I was feeling in my initial post. I didn't expect to have to go into this much detail. But thank you for making me break it down more so I can understand it myself.

>When I'm with him I'm happy
>I'm so happy that I'm afraid of the happy going away.

>>17521002
We met in February 2013, in a pub. I am 24, he's 33.
He was drinking a beer, sitting with his best friend at the bar counter. I was trying to order something. He said something racist, sexist, disgusting and hilarious to his best friend and I couldn't help laughing. We talked all night and had a perfect night. I never laughed so much, it was perfect.

It's hard to pick a favourite memory. The first time he slept over at my place and he read to me to sleep. Or when he met my parents. Or the day he gave me a notebook with all the things he wrote about me written inside. Or when we moved in together, the first time we had breakfast.
The worst memory is when he didn't call me after the first time we met.
I wouldn't change a thing. All the misunderstandings, all the arguing, all his flaws, all my flaws are fine. It makes us who we are, and I truly love who we are.
He makes me feel amazing. He's the best man I know. He makes my life exciting, surprising and unpredictable but as long as he's by my side I am not scared. He's genuinely smart, funny as fuck, he's generous, loving, caring, attentive. And my best friend. I couldn't be happier.

>>17521067
We are very serious together. It has turned into something we're committed to. In the beginning of the relationship, he absolutely had commitment issues though.

I kind of summed it up in my last post, I'm happy with him right now, I'm just so afraid of the happiness going away. I love him, I'm just afraid to. I'm not sure if this is something that'll go away over time as he gets more comfortable showing intimacy, or if it will get worse as school starts as we'll both be very busy.

>>17521123
Just keep meeting more people.

>>17521093
How long were you dating for the first time he left?
How is the relationship now?

>>17521127
Not that anon, but you remind me of myself when I was in my previous relationship. And of course, he left me over my insecurities.

Don't let your feelings of doubt and fear control you. Get professional help if you need it - just find a way to be happy with yourself and everything else will fall into place. When you learn to find a way to be happy alone, you won't "need" someone else by your side. I mean we all kinda sorta "need" someone, but you can't depend on them to be there all the time so you need to find a way to appreciate yourself so that you can be stronger when he's not around.

Maybe I'm not making any sense or maybe I'm misunderstanding the whole thing. I kinda just skimmed through this thread. Sorry if I'm just spouting nonsense. Best of luck either way.

I have the exact same issue as you OP, except I'm a guy and the girl is doing this to me.
How would I be able to strengthen my relationship with her? Like an anon said earlier, it feels like I have an acquittance with a relationship attached to her, not an actual relationship with a person.

It's frustrating to say the least and I would end the relationship now but it feels so good when she is affectionate towards me.
I'm also subtly but not so subtly pushed by my family to get serious with her because I'm 24 and I've never had a more serious relationship before.

God damn this life, it's spinning out of control fast.

>>17521002
No, we're not dating. We're not even talking anymore.
We're not dating for two reasons. One, because she could not or would not offer me a guarantee of faithfulness. She was 'polyamorous'. Two, because I am sick and we are too far apart. I'm too sick to get closer, too sick to compete.

My favourite memory is sitting on a park bench with her. Her lying down, leaning against me. My arms wrapped around her. The first time we ever kissed. I wish I could find that bench again. I pray I don't forget that memory.

My worst memory is how angry my sickness made me. How I took that anger and powerlessness out on her. How I destroyed even our friendship because I couldn't trust myself to be decent to her. If I could go back, I'd be nicer. I'd do everything I could to get better, to stay decent, to win her over. But in reality I'd probably do the same again.

She makes me feel ... I don't know. Happy, excited, sad, angry, peaceful, passionate. I don't know. She makes me feel. Just the knowledge that she exists somewhere, too far away, puts a spark of hope in my mind that one day I might feel happiness again. I guess I'm probably idealising her and out former relationship.

Thanks for the opportunity to talk about it, OP.

>Are you dating?
Last monday was my last date. She was a quiet type. Was nervous the whole time and wasn't comfortable with me. She started to text less and less and now I am not talking to her anymore.

>Why/why not?

I am going to take a break with dating. I got rejected a lot past 2 year when I started dating girls. I think it has something to do with myself. I guess that I weird out girls too fast.

I blame myself for the rejections. Could have done better. Now I am going to concentrate on school and my life in general. Maybe read "The book of pook". I don't know if it is that helpful as people say.

>>17521002

>Are you dating?
No
>Why/why not?
My character is not compatible with most people
>How did it start?
Genetics mang, got me dads fuck the world mentality and me moms feistiness. Never had anything real serious.

>What's your favourite memory with them?
-
>What's your worst memory of them?
I dated two girls in total. The first one was a crazy bitch that accused everyone around her to be against her. I pointed her to her bullshit and she lost it and blamed me for being inconsiderate

>If you could go back, what would you change?
Nothing, I'm happy where I am, and I'll see if I ever stumble upon someone
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
-

He still talks to someone he has feelings for because they were talking, kind of a thing I guess, during the lowest point of his life. She lives states away so they've never met in person. She comforted him then. They stopped talking. We got together in April. Then a few weeks ago they started talking again. I learned this from my brother who interrogated him. Him and this girl are talking platonically now but he still has feelings for her. He talks to her about things he can't talk to me about. I know he thinks the world of me but it's sketchy regardless. I don't know how to think or feel.

What's your take on it /adv/?

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>no
>im poor and bitter and i dont try
>the last one started by her reaching out when i was going away

>she made me feel like a man
>when i caught her lieing
>i wouldnt speak a word to her
>like shit

>>17521538
you are a replacement
t. someone who did that already

>>17521002
> gaming
> we first had sex (which was his first time).
>whenever I try to kiss him or hug him, he "playfully" tells me to get off him, or pushes me away


no surprise there. Dont listen to the armchair psychologists lol this dude is just not physically attracted to you. But he needed to lose his vcard.

>he left me. He said he had feelings for some girl at work

Been there done that.

>>17521002
>Tell me about yourself and the one you love.
I'm a 21 year old slacker musician. And she's 19 petite and just the sweetest person I've ever met.
>>Are you dating?
Well I think so, we went on about 6 dates made out and the whole shabam. So I think you could say we are.
>>Why/why not?
Well we just clicked. I make her laugh, and vice versa.
>>How did it start?
Weirdly enough through Tinder.
>>What's your favourite memory with them?
Well our second date was great and we cooked together.
>>What's your worst memory of them?
Well it's more a funny one that a bad one. After our third date she told me she was a muslim. Which rustled my jimmies pretty good. Turned out she was taking the piss and we laughed.
>>If you could go back, what would you change?
Well at this point I wouldn't change a thing.
>>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
She makes me feel happy. Like I can talk to her about anything. It's a feeling I've never experienced before. I hope it stays like this for a long time.

>>17521538

Why waste your time on someone that has not made up his mind?

He will continue to behave in the same manner, because this limbo state of having two possibilities to fall back on is comforting. He gets from her what he is not getting from you, and gets from you what he can't get from her.

See for yourself what you want out of it. Don't get stuck in a relationship where there is no forward momentum.

>>17521002
>>Are you dating?
No, but I really want to.

>Why/why not?
Don't meet many girls, and most of them are already in couple, and i promised myself not tomess with non single girls anymore.

>How did it start?
I was a CompSci student until April, and wasn't really for dating. No confindence, and not a lot of girls in the school. I decided that my graduation would be more than just a diploma. So now I at least try,even though it's a bit tough 6 years after my last relationship.

>What's your favourite memory with them?
About my lastgirlfriend, I'd say these summer days where everyone was on vacation somewheren and we were just the both of us all day. I've never been that intimate with someone apart from these days.

>What's your worst memory of them?
How something went wrong at the end. A part of it was my fault, but our Relationship became so horrible that it's even painful to remember.

>If you could go back, what would you change?
A lot of things. the whole situation couldn't have worked anyway to be honest, but I should have made myself clear right from the start. My indecision led to the end of it.

>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
Even if I was happy at this time, I think it could have been much better. At least, I have learned quite a few things, the most important one being not to date non-single women.

>Are you dating?
Yes, I am. With this wonderful girl named Amber.
>Why/why not?
Why am I dating her? I truly love her and every little thing about her. From her very slight southern accent, despite us both being from Mass, to how when she lays her head on my chest, she subconsciously grinds her teeth.
>How did it start?
We were both freshmen in college two years ago. One day I was mindlessly swiping on Tinder and I happened to come across her profile. She was incredible. Studying to be a nurse, lived on campus, and just seemed all around amazing. Of course I swiped right. It was a match instantly. I proceeded to write her a message, but she had reacted to the match faster than I did! That moment has been cemented in my mind forever, as nothing like that had ever happened to me before.(She would later tell me it was because I was very handsome) That day, we ended meeting up near where our classes where. We talked a bit and then I walked her to her class, while I went to mine. Through the course of a couple days, we would text each other a lot. She even told me things that signaled she was super interested, but my naivete got to me. One day, I brought her over to my room. Back then, I shared it with two roommates. That's where I screwed up. She had wanted to be alone with me, but was too shy to say anything. And because of her interactions that day, it seemed like she was more interested in one of my roommates. From there, I just sort of ended things and whatever we had simmered down to nothing but passing "hello"s. Fast forward a year later, I'm on Tinder again. I see her profile again and I ask myself, "should I"? I do and we match again. We meet up, and I tell her my feelings. She reciprocates. A few days later, she comes over, we fuck, and then I ask her out. We've been together since. (Cont)

>>17521646
Cont.
>What's your favourite memory with them?
My favorite memory would be when she visited me as a surprise. This was the time she commuted to the college, and I only saw her occasionally.
>What's your worst memory of them?
When we almost split because of her own personal insecurities.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
I would've told her exactly how I felt from the onset. Not doing that really changed some things. I've promised to never do that again.
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
She makes me feel like I'm a man, if that makes any sense. Because of her, I've really grown as a person. For example, her comments about me being lazy hurt me deeply. I changed things around and went on the dean's list the following semester. I also just feel loved overall. This woman really cares about me and makes it very well known. That's what makes her even more amazing to me.

>Tell me about yourself and the one you love
We're both in college, she's a year older than me. We work in a specific department together, her because it's her major and me because it's a hobby I'm really passionate about. She's the closest thing I've met to a female version of myself. The insecurities, the interests, the outlook on life, all of it is really similar to mine. Obviously there are some differences which is a good thing, but overall I've never been able to relate to anyone else more in my life.

>Are you dating?
No.

>Why not?
A few reasons. The first one is that I can't tell if she's interested in me as more than a friend. I can see some things that could be interpreted that way, but nothing concrete. I keep getting the feeling that she just sees me as some kind of autistic little brother figure who she needs to help and feels bad for, rather than someone she's romantically and sexually attracted to. The second one is that I have trouble actually holding a conversation with her in real life and not over the phone (our text conversations are complete bliss and amazingness, our IRL encounters are actually a little awkward). The third is that I'm terrified of losing her friendship if I tell her my feelings and she doesn't reciprocate. It's happened to me before, and I would be crushed if I lost her as a friend.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up and stop trying to probe the waters and push things further. She's going to realize that I'm in love with her eventually (if she doesn't already), and I'm going to seem so pathetic. But at the same time, if she did feel the same it would mean that the dream I've had of being with her (I've had feelings for her for about a year now) would come true.

Cont.

>>17521694
A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I confessed to her and she said she felt the same way. The happiness was overwhelming, and that's not an exaggeration. Even though this was dream, I remember my emotional response exactly, and it was just 100 percent joy and relief. The best I've ever felt in my life. And then I woke up and it wasn't real.

Now that I've gotten a taste of that, I can't bring myself to give up on my chance at the real thing, no matter how slim I might think that chance is.

>How did it start?
I was new in college last year, and she was nice to me. A couple of weeks after we met I had a panic attack and ended up ditching her and some other friends because I kept thinking that they didn't really want to spend time with me and I was being a burden. I felt bad about it and eventually texted her to apologize and explain why I did it. She told me that she felt the same way as i did a lot of the time, that she was incredibly shy and introverted and was only starting to get over it because she didn't want to get stuck like that.

That was the moment I felt connected to her, and I guess it just grew from there. Like I said, our text conversations are always great. She's pulled me out of deep pits of depression, and I've done the same for her. There was one time over the summer that she texted me explaining that she felt like a terrible person for something. My response was to say "Can i tell you a secret?" followed by pic related. And at the end I said "you can't tell me that this girl is a terrible person. So cut it out".

It was just a spur of the moment idea, but it apparently made her cry from happiness and made her feel a lot better, she told me she loved me twice that night. And I said I loved her too. But I'm pretty sure she meant platonic/friend love there.

I don't know. I don't want to be just the friend who pulls me up when I fall, and I don't want to be just that for her. I want to be there, next to her, all the time.

Cont.

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>>17521703
Sorry this is going on for so long. Also forgot the pic from last post lel

>What's your favorite memory of them?
Surprisingly, not a text conversation. At one point last winter, she sent me (and others) a snapchat of her standing on the roof of one of the parking garages on campus with the caption "When you can't sleep so you go up to a parking garage and look at murals at 3AM". I sent her one that said "Hey, mind if I join you?" she said sure and I went up.

We walked around, looked at the artwork in that brisk early morning and talked about so many things. It was the one time that we got into the depth of conversation in real life that we usually get into when texting. I don't know what the X factor was this time that let us do that, but it was really good. At one point we were talking about how people never really know each other well, and that we don't reveal ourselves fully to pretty much anybody. After some silence I told her that even though I didn't know everything about her, I was glad that I know as much of her as I did. She smiled and said she felt the same way toward me.

>What's your worst memory of them?

Don't know if there's one in particular. I guess everything that's been going on with her recently counts. We don't talk as much anymore, she ignores my texts sometimes, and I feel like I can never pin her down to try to spend more time with her in person. And the worst part is that I don't know how to tell her that I want to spend more time with her without making it obvious that I'm in love with her.

I feel abandoned and jealous, which I know is ridiculous because she doesn't have an obligation to spend time with me. I don't expect to be the center of her universe, but I DO want to be a regular part of her life. And I don't know how to express that without making things weird.

>If you could go back, what would you change?
I don't know. Is it possible to change myself to be less awkward?

>>17521730
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?

At the good times, she makes me feel whole. Like I've found my missing piece.

When she ignores me, she makes me feel like shit. And that makes me think that I'm dependent on her for my happiness, which I shouldn't be.

I just wish I could stop feeling so strongly about her. If it could dial back a little bit, things might go better.

If you read this far, thanks. Advice is appreciated but I understand if nobody can help.

And thanks OP for this thread, I needed a way to get all my thoughts out there.

Bump because this is a cute thread

>>17521002
>Are you dating?
No

>Why/why not?
Because i fear the sting of rejection.

>Are you dating?
Yes
>Why/why not?
Because im in love? Idk how anyone could really answer that to be honest.
>How did it start?
We where both teenagers, 17 years old, both in relationships. I was dating a girl too young for me(nothing sexual came off it, and it was very short lived), she was dating someone from her dance school who was a closeted homosexual and was only with heras an alibi. We met at a school dance, both pretty drunk, and sort of hooked up. Nothing wild just some dancing and a few kisses. We parted ways afterwards and never thought we would see each other again, but turns out we went to the same highschool so we ran into each other sometimes after that night. We became friends and later started dating.
>What's your favourite memory with them?
So many. We always had pets together, so playing with those is one of my favorite memories.
Our first couple of dates where really akward and shy so thats kind of fun to think back to as well.
>What's your worst memory of them?
A guy tried to rape her once and it really did a number on her mentally. For about a year she had horrible night terrors where she would wake up in the middle of the night scared shitless, just sitting up and crying and shivering until i would wake up to comfort her. It was really heartbreaking.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
I would cheat on her less with ugly sloots.
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
200% in love.

>>17521561
It's not that he finds me unnatractive. I think when things started to get serious, and there was that pressure to commit, he chickened out and ran for safety, which happened to be the girl at work, who would always lead him on, but then say they're just friends. You can look at it from a bunch of different angles but either way it's bad.

>Are you dating?
I not sure, one date so far but still time I think

>Why/why not?
Been talking, busy, and I'm trying to take my time and not fuck up.

>How did it start?
Always pass by each other and say hi, one day I started a conversation and took off from there.

>What's your favourite memory with them?
Our date when we went bowling and had pizza, after just walked around in the rain playing pokemon go and talking.

>What's your worst memory of them?
I don't know, one I guess is me not going in for a kiss or something at the end of the date lol

>If you could go back, what would you change?
Nothing too bad so far, maybe a few text.

>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
Honestly speaking, she is the best thing to happen to me in a while. She is fun, interesting, and cute. I could see myself with her

>>17521145
That's awesome! I'm happy for the both of you. Love like that is rare these days unfortunately, hold onto it.

>>17521465
Op here. Having your parents try and push you into it definitely doesn't help things. I feel like the only way to strengthen things is to talk to her. If you can't talk to her about how you're feeling, the relationship will eventually fail. Is there something going on her life that is causing her to become distant, or is that just who she is?

Have you tried being spontaneously affectionate towards her?

Since this is the general I'm posting here.

Gf has been feeling really sad and lonely. She's been very cunty in her replies so I've been sending like 1 word responses or not responding till I feel like it. All due to her period btw.. I think it's bullshit though. Just control your fucking emotions. Like man up. That's what I think about the whole thing so I haven't been helping her at all. I've just made things worse.

I recently told her indirectly she's not important to me. I realized now thats going to hurt her feelings. I wonder where I go from here. I wish I could stop being so cold all the time

Anyways idk what I'm hoping to get out of here. I just needed to vent.

>>17523900
First of all, realize that you are a hypocrite.

>just control your fucking emotions
>I snapped at my gf and told her she wasn't important to me because my emotions got the better of me

First thing you should do is apologize for saying that and try to assure her that it isn't how you really feel. You've been under a lot of stress walking on eggshells when talking to her and you just lost your temper and said something that you knew would hurt her.

Then you can start to approach the subject of her rude behavior. Make it clear that you're not using this as an excuse or justification for your fuck up, but as a way of explaining the cause of it.

You will never be able to convince her that she can just ignore the mood swings she gets from her period, though. If she's choosing to play the hormones card, you'll never win by contradicting her because at the end of the day, you and I and every other man will never know what it's like to have a period and we can't pretend we do.

But anyway, just tell her, as sincerely as you can muster up, the truth about how you've been feeling, what you're not happy with and what she needs to change. Give her some time to think about it and decide if you're important enough to her to make a change.

And in the future, take some time to think about your comments and messages to her if you think they might be inflammatory in some way. Don't impulsively send angry texts as soon as you type them because you're probably going to regret it. Learn some empathy and try to understand how you would feel in her shoes as much as possible.

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>she was my best friend's gf for nearly 3 years and we've been friendly the whole time
>they break up

>I fall super fucking hard for her almost instantly
>she's not taking the breakup well, obviously fucked around with at least one other dude, maybe two
>since we've known each other for a while I decide it's best to bluntly tell her how I feel
>get gently rebuffed, at least as long as she's "not ready for another serious thing", but she said she's happy I've been so honest with her

>we've only hung out once since then
>even though it was great I can't help but feel she's more tense around me than before
>her tone while texting has also changed, shorter messages, fewer emojis
>at the same time I feel like I'm getting small signals, like how she jokes about having to sleep alone after a horror movie
>too scared to try anything since we've already talked about it and I don't wanna wreck the friendship

>getting really suspicious vibes between her and another dude who's been hovering around her, they've only met recently
>It's not unlikely they've already fucked at least once

>best friend is clearly not taking the breakup well either, he's also suspicious about the above guy
>the two of them are still in touch and I've honestly not heard them badmouth each other at all

I... I think I'm just gonna try to talk my friend about trying to reconcile with her. I've blown any chance I might have ever had, and I know she's much better off back together with him than with some random asshole.

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Are you dating?
Yes, for almost 3 years now.
>Why/why not?
He's perfect, sweet, gentle always buys me food. Treats me well and gives me cuddles.
>How did it start?
It was 2013, Biology class.. We became friends and one thing led to another.
>What's your favourite memory with them?
My favorite memory.. That's really hard. Probably all the times we've just layed there and cuddled while watching videos. Or, our several trips to the diner
>What's your worst memory of them?
Worst memory was last summer. He was going through a lot and I could feel him drifting away.. Changing. He was becoming someone that I didn't know at the time. So that really hurt.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
I wouldn't change anything, everything happens for a reason.
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
He makes me feel everything all at once

>>17521002
>Are you dating?
No

>Why/why not?
I have Autism and I am unlovable deserve to die

>How did it start?
It never happened

>What's your favourite memory with them?
n/A

>What's your worst memory of them?
I have so many bad social memories, I cry about 6-7 hours every 24 hours.

>If you could go back, what would you change?
I would have never left my room

>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
n/A

>>17521002
>20 y/o
>never been on a date
>never had a gf
>have never had a female friend
>KV
What do /adv/? I've legitimately never had any kind of a meaningful connection with any female EVER, not even with my own mother and sister. And I feel no real drive to meet or socialize with women, I don't care about sex very much so that doesn't help. It's not something I'm that mad about, but I think that I'd like a gf at some point. Cuddling probably feels good.

>>17523418
Thanks!
I'm very happy.
Actually we were having a rough day and re-reading that post made me get all fuzzy inside, and I went to hug him.

>>17521002
>Are you dating?
Does being married count? We do still go on dates from time to time, though.

>Why/why not?
We love each other.

>How did it start?
That depends on who you ask. She points to a dead mouse; I point to a heart attack. It's complicated. This was in high school. Then I graduated, and then we went through six years of long-distance hell. We wasted no time getting married once that business was finished.

>What's your favourite memory with them?
From just a couple of years ago, actually. The thing you need to understand is that by this point we'd gotten something of a reputation for absolute rock-solid stability.

A couple of years ago, she got hurt in an accident, and we lost everything. That's not the good memory, obviously. The good memory was the legion of friends and people we'd helped out over the years, jumping to help us get back on our feet.

>What's your worst memory of them?
The one and only time we ever really fought.

>If you could go back, what would you change?
I would try to slap some sense into myself back during the college years. I was the clingy one.

>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
Warm. Solid. Stable. Like I have direction, both forward and backward. And, of course, periodic bouts of mad lust.

>>17526251
This post made me really happy.

>Are you dating?
Nope.
>Why/why not?
She decided instead of waiting through summer for college to start, she'd go fuck her coworker instead
>How did it start?

>What's your favourite memory with them?
When we spent a whole day just cuddling and talking
>What's your worst memory of them?
When she broke up with me out of nowhere
>If you could go back, what would you change?
I wouldn't overthink everything, and just follow my gut instinct instead of waiting for shit to happen
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
I don't know. Anger, sadness, disgust...and still, a little bit of love.
I want her back, man.

>>17526286
>>How did it start?
We ended up on the same dorm floor for college

>>17525802
>He was going through a lot and I could feel him drifting away.. Changing. He was becoming someone that I didn't know at the time. So that really hurt.

Man I'm going through this right now with my boyfriend. It sucks, and I don't know if we'll come out the other side. But it makes me happy to hear that sometimes it's just a passing phase.


>Are you dating?
Yes; a wonderful guy for ~5 months.
>Why/why not?
I've been in love with him for the entire year I've known him.
>How did it start?
Met through tinder, then we an awkward period of friendship when he decided to get back together with his ex.
>What's your favourite memory with them?
When we were both high, teary eyed and listening to music, and he told me he loved me for the first time. All the times he lays his head on my chest and looks up at me with the sweetest, most content expression anyone's ever shown me.
>What's your worst memory of them?
Currently, the times I've broken into tears while we're together because I feel like he's becoming so distant and detached from everything. He's fallen into a depressed episode lately and as hard as I try not to take it personally, it hurts so much to feel like those amazing memories are past. I wish I could be stronger for him and hold my tears in, at least. I feel like I'm not being what he needs.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
Apparently, I came off as disinterested when we first met. If I had been a bit more forward, I feel like he wouldn't have gotten back with his ex and I would have felt this happiness sooner.
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
I've never met someone who has understood me as a person more, and hopefully vice versa. Knowing that is one of the most comforting feelings in the world. He makes me feel loved and inspired. When I think about him it's like that first hit of caffeine in the morning--this radiating pit of energy in my chest that drives me to be better. He also makes me feel incredibly alone, lately.

>>17526329
My boyfriend has chronic depression and a bunch of other mental issues.
When he gets his "episodes", listen. Try to figure things out with him. Try to let him talk, ask questions. Never give advice or anything. Let him figure things out.
Don't take it personally. Depression is a disease. Would you take his cancer personally? Smile when he looks at you, tell him that you're happy and proud of him, encourage him.
Try to give him the space he needs, but at the same time ask him to do things together. Often for us something as simple as laying in bed together while reading a book in silence was okay.
Make him feel like you two are a team and depression is one of the things you'll beat together. Make him feel like he's not alone.
It won't cure depression (therapy, pills, and even faith to some degree helped my boyfriend more than I do) but it's the "strategy" we use to not let it affect us.

Good luck.

>>17526346
Thank you, I'll take that advice. I'm still working on accepting the fact that this will be a persistent aspect of our relationship. He recently started counseling so I'm hopeful.

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>>17521002
well OP,
>i am not dating anymore
>because i was broken up with
>in 9th grade. i asked for a piece of paper and things just went up from their
>At the movies. we were laughing at a scary movie and being kids.
>she breaking up with me.
>i wan an asshole the first two years. if i could go back and fucking slap some sense into my dumbass head i would. i love her so damn much.
>alive

i still talk to her everyday and try to call. its hard to know what to say cause i like dont want to offend or like push her away. i want her to trust me again and yea. she said maybe we can be together again but i think she needs to start trusting me to get things started. i have to give her some space but idk how to do that without ignoring her. i never cheated. and i always believed (and never told her) that she was my soul mate. i still think she is. when she broke up with me, i learned how to be patient and understanding. I still flirt and act all cute to her. she kinda goes with it on good days. ive never loved her more than right now. i also learned how to talk alot more. if i do ever get her back, she will be treated like she never was with me before. i told her how i feel and she says "maybe" or "whatever happens happens" idk what to do honestly. any idea?

>>17526346
This really helped me a lot. I too will take this advice cause I'm always trying to help him and give him advice but sometimes people need to just figure their stuff out on their own..

>Are you dating?
No
>Why/why not?
I don't know

The girl I love is everything to me. We've been dating for 3 years.

We were both in college, but she still lives with her mom, dad, and two little brothers. Most of her good friends ditched her, we're jerks, and whatnot, but I stayed.
And I'm glad I did, it's probably the smartest thing I ever did. We were friends for a long time. And I asked her if she had feelings for me, and she said she didn't. But I knew she did and asked her out.

My favorite memory is with her is when I met her family. We went outside and went on this old bench and cuddled. It was nice.
She smells like lavender and is beautiful. I love her.

My worst memory is when I had to say good bye.

Those were the 3 best years of my life. I won't ever forget you.

>>17521002
>Am I dating?
Yes I am. I have been for three years.
>Why?
Because it's nice when someone has your back and vise versa.
>How?
I was dating the singer in a band, and he was the drummer.
>Best memory?
Moving in together, and our summer roadtrips.
>Worst memory?
A handful of fights that were ultimately both out faults.
>What would I Change?
Honestly, nothing. The bad only contributed to something good. Like from a bad fight comes amazing make up sex.
>How he makes me feel
Safe, and like I'm not alone.

>>17526397
It's not as bad as it seems. It won't be a persistent aspect of your relationships. There will be bad days or bad weeks, but ultimately things will be fine. My boyfriend is amazing at handling his crisis now, yours will learn too.
If he's starting counselling, then he's one step closer to feeling good. Give him time.
Reassurance, communication, intimacy and love work great.

>>17527038
At least for my boyfriend, the point was that I was trying to give him advice and I kept telling him things he already knew, but wouldn't want to do because he was depressed. It made him feel like I considered him too stupid to follow my stupid ass advice.
With time we figured out a strategy to keep during his crisis to be productive and not just get lazy and sad. It took time, but it was worth it.

>Are you dating?
No
>Why/why not?
Tried but I get rejected horribly. Since I'm average human being mentaly I can only assume I'm terrible looking and people can not look past that. C'est la vie

>>17527503
What would you consider to be the most important thing in your relationship? The communication? The trust?

>>17521002

>Are you dating?
No, I've been trying to convince myself that being with someone would make me happy but I think deep down I know that's a lie.
>Why/why not?
Honestly I believe that in order to truly love someone else you have to love yourself and I'm just not sure of that right now. Deep down I know I feel I'm not worthy of a relationship or special attention because I'm fat. So I work toward a more lucrative future for myself and my family, completely ignoring my emotions and suppressing them however I can. Lately the pain from loneliness has grown to be a bit much.

That's about it. I'm fighting off a really heavy depression I feel coming on for this winter.

>>17527058
Why did you have to leave her?

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>no daiting
>because I can't see the effort rewarding enough, few shitty relationships and relaxing solitude right now


Seriously the sex is all that I'm lacking right now and what I'm risking for it is:
>go clubbing or dating
>do your best in your "player mode" fret like a fucker being witty, fun, mr. handsomeguy etc., feeling like shit because it's not you but real you is this sad hateful anon with despise for all living things
>I can do pretend like before but thinking about doing all this shit again with X amount of women makes me want to puke since I'm tired with pussy chasing and getting nagging skanks in reward
>considering I'll force myself to, we get to shagging
>awkward morning, hope she won't pull some stupid shit
>some bitches may confess love or try to play me some other way, some may even go psycho hysterical and try to keep me, now I have to fret again to turn hem down somehow
>I have experience even with stalker maniac stalking me for some time after one night stand

Happy relationships and time worthy women are fairly tales to me. Not in my life.

>>17527578
That we get along so well. Having the same sense of humor really helps, the same goals in life has made this relationship what it is. Trust and communication are very important to though.

>>17526687
It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. I'm not too sure how to help you on this one. Maybe you should honestly tell her how you feel. Demand a straight answer towards her feelings for you, even if they'll hurt.

>>17521002
>>Are you dating?
no
>>Why/why not?
extreme trust issues due to bpd ex, extreme disappointment in self for sticking dick in crazy for so long

>Are you dating?
Not at the moment
>Why/why not?
I'm either way too picky about who I like, or my standards are too high. I lean towards the former.
>How did it start?
My being-alone streak? I'm a pretty conservative guy and I have a busy schedule, so I don't have a lot of time to meet people, and when I do, I'm looking for something long-term so we have to be quite compatible.

>What's your favourite memory with them?
I'll talk about my ex, I guess. I don't think I have any one favourite memory, but I really miss lying in bed with her cuddled to my chest. The intimacy and closeness we had is what I miss.
>What's your worst memory of them?
Towards the end of it, she got intimate with another guy. AFAIK she didn't sleep with him, but she got close to it. After that she was dead to me emotionally. We were LD so she had booked flights to see me, and when she came I basically used her for sex until she left.
>If you could go back, what would you change?
I would tell my younger self not to date her. That's what I want to say, because we weren't going to ever go anywhere, but younger me wouldn't listen, and desu I wouldn't have learned things about myself if I didn't date her so I guess the experience was valuable.
>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?
Now? She just makes me feel bitter. When I ended it with her, she started dating another guy within a week. It's 3 years on and I'm still single. I feel like I was hurt by her and then she meets someone and I'm still alone. It's not even like I want to be the biggest stud on the block; I just want to meet someone cute who I can marry and have kids with. So yeah, I guess I'm pretty salty about it.

>Are you dating?

No. I had one friend who I asked out a couple months ago, she wasn't interested.

>Why/why not?

It's complicated. For me, I'm introverted, shy, have low self-esteem and the only thing I do is play games. I don't meet many girls who I feel comfortable talking with at school. I'm not like super ugly, but I'm skinny enough that people will overlook my face and be like "ugh he has twigs for arms".

For the reason SHE rejected me, I truly have no idea. All I know, according to her, is her boyfriend cheated on her a month or two prior to me asking her out, which I didn't even know. That apparently fucked her up so much she had no feelings for any other guys whatsoever and she was nervous or some shit because she "couldn't picture herself with someone". I just told her I felt immature about the whole thing a week later, she said the same, and then I just silently broke contact with her. She's reached out to me 3 times in the past 2 weeks, and it's generally very unresponsive between the two of us. I'll probably see her and hang out with her again after the semester starts back up, but nothing more I'd guess.

Would love to date her, she's the "girl version of me" somewhat.

>How did it start?

Major major crush at the beginning of college when we first met. Only girl I've ever met who's into video games like I am. I never had any friends who were girls like that before, so I'd hang out with her whenever I could. We'd sit together, play games together, study together, eat together, go to events together, go to clubs together, really do a lot of things together. Like a boyfriend and girlfriend. And people thought we were dating at some point. And I'm almost positive I overheard her in a convo say we're kinda dating.

Yeah I'm gonna stop typing now, this just makes me have a worse case of oneitis.

>>17527609

Ah fuck it, I'll continue.

>What's your favourite memory with them?

One of the events me and her went to, we showed up early. We sat around nearby, and we both put our bags down and go on our phones and just talk about stupid shit. Convo goes silent, she puts her phone down and gets up. I'm just on snapchat looking at stories, and I'll never forget this moment - I look over and she's just dancing. It's stupid as fuck, she looked crazy, but she saw me notice and blushed and smiled and was like embarrassed. It was cute as fuck honestly, and I've never seen her get that way over it before, she had a tendency to dance standing still when waiting for something, be it outside a class or a food line. But she just looked so cute and adorable doing it, I'll never forget it. Just stuck with me.

>What's your worst memory of them?\

Me asking her help with my feelings, which was about her and then being like, "No it's uh, self esteem." and she tried to help me. I basically cried texting her cause I felt like an idiot.

>If you could go back, what would you change?

The way I asked her out, and how aggressive I should've been with her. If I was slightly more aggressive outside of school and off-campus in terms of hanging out with her, and if I waited a bit longer and asked at a good time without being an idiot, I think she'd be my girlfriend right now. But I acted as if I had autism and fucked it up.

>In all honesty, how do they make you feel?

Good and bad. Good in that the memories and times I'm with her make me feel joy, but also sadness since I know I have reciprocated feelings with her and the fact we're not as good friends as I'd hoped we'd be.

>>17521170
2 years the first time he left, 4 after that the second time.
We're fine now, I have some concerns sometimes about if he'll leave again, but all together it's going okay. A lot better than it has in the past :)

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>>17521002

I'm 21, she's 19.
Met each other while traveling, It was a early morning in February, we were both stuck in the same little seaside town.
I was out arguing with a bus driver, trying to get on but the bus was packed and he wouldn't let me. I'm just about to grab my bags and leave when this girl walks up to me from behind and starts talking to my back. I turn around all confused and I see the prettiest damn girl I've ever seen. We talked for a while, turns out we were in the same situation, I chalk her of as way out of my league, wish her luck and go on with my day. Later that night we run into each other at a bar and get to know each other better. The following morning we both manage to get on a bus and from there on we travel together for about one and a half months.

It was surreal, looking back it feels like a dream. I was hanging out everyday with the prettiest girl I've met in some of the most beautiful places on earth and I had a year of savings on my account. It couldn't possibly get any better.

The worst part was the time after we had gone separate ways, it took me a half year before I felt like myself again. I think I've thought about her everyday since.

>>17527580
are you me?
I've always thought the whole "everyone deserves love" thing was bullshit. No one deserves it, you gotta earn it