She loves me, she loves me not

>>17520953
I should probably also mention that I saw her in passing this afternoon, she said hi but I just waved and kept walking as if I was in a rush to get somewhere

>>17520953

Ima tell you the secret about dating anon. If you're interested in a girl, your job is to give her the option of escalating the relationship at each point, but of letting her decide and respecting her decision. You don't need to worry about the minutiae of her behavior at any given moment. Just ask her out somewhere friendly and casual - "hey, you wanna get coffee after practice?" or something like that. Just something casual and super light. It doesn't really matter how you do it, if a girl is interested in you she'll accept, and if not she won't. It's not a big deal. If she doesn't like you, it's not a reflection of you as a person or anything, it doesn't mean you fucked up, she's just not interested. Big deal, move onto the next one.

If she is interested, just have fun, and then if you think things went well you say "hey, that was fun, let's do it again sometime". and see what she says. The thing about women is they want to be able to decide, and you don't want to back them into a corner. You want to give them an exit. If she's interested and says yes, then you decide on some concrete plan, maybe something a little more intimate, or a movie, or whatever, and go from there.

Do you kinda see how this works? There's a back-and-forth involved. There's other stuff too, but that's the gist of it. Yeah I know you just wanna bang her, but you don't go from point friendly to point bang like that. You gotta take it slow and go through each intermediate step first, and if she's interested she'll be right there with ya.

It's about enjoying the dance, not getting to the goal. Just have a good time! The whole dating / attraction / chemistry thing is completely silly, but hey, that's how people work, so you may as well enjoy it while it's happening!

>>17521007
>you don't go from point friendly to point bang like that.
a chad type does..

>Just ask her out somewhere friendly and casual
Can i even do this if we don't talk outside of class? Any preliminary steps?

>You don't need to worry about the minutiae of her behavior at any given moment
This is what always gets me to completely drop my crushes on people. fear of things going poorly after the first sign of no interest.

>>17521038
>chads
only exist in your mind. seriously. they're a manifestation of your insecurities about your self-worth. but you don't need to worry about that right now, that's sort of tangential.

>asking her out
yeah man, you can ask her out. but if you want to test the waters first, just chat her up after class or whenever the situation arises. the trick is to be real loose and casual. if you don't treat it like a big deal, she won't either. if she's not interested in getting romantic, she'll just sort of treat you like a friend, keep her distance, etc. just sort of be spontaneous about it and see what happens.

>minutiae
I had this exact same problem, and it crippled me for so long. In retrospect, I bailed out on a lot of girls who were clearly interested in me. Live and learn! All you gotta do is open the way for her to progress the relationship, and it's up to her whether she takes it or not. That's all you gotta worry about. In a sense, it's really easy! Eventually, you get used to the process and you sort of relax and enjoy yourself along the way. Just remember if she's not interested, it doesn't mean you fucked up. Girls don't make any sense anyway, so it's no use trying to get into their head :)

>>17521066
>Girls don't make any sense anyway, so it's no use trying to get into their head :)
although I was joking about the chad thing, there are dudes who can at the very least get laid and be on with their lives whether or not the girl wants to pursue a relationship with them.

>>17521066
>she'll just sort of treat you like a friend
usually if they start doing this I start treating them like I do my generic male friends and rarely talk to them or invite them to hang out unless its something big but even then it depends on their importance to me as a friend.

tbqh, an underlying issue in all of this and my self confidence in dating is that I'm fat. I was 245 and I cut down to 215 over the last 4 months or so, want to get all the way down to 175-180 before 2017.

I feel like being fat is largely whats holding me back from dating casually. I imagine everyone just sees this miserable fat wretch and only enjoy my company because I can make people laugh but no one will ever take me seriously as a romantic partner unless I'm thin.

I know that sounds totally ridiculous and narcissistic, but my self hatred is also what really motivates me to lose all of the fat. I don't feel I'm worthy of love until I lose all the fat and my romantic shortcomings with women in the past like the gal I mentioned here only solidifies that as reality for me.

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OP i know you are still here.
for her, there is nothing there.
move on...

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>>17521239
Just give up on her completely and not even bother trying? Am I really that hopeless

>>17521246
hopeless?
maybe not.
just stop trying.
if a bitch liked you something would have happened.
take it from someone who embarrassed themselves plenty of times.
also post on 4chan with something else you stupid iCuck

>>17521246
Not the anons that posted before me, but from what I skimmed, you went from being a free ride to being a slightly slimmer free ride. You have no actual value to her other than friend and she's just being very friendly, but not actually flirty.
Also, you're improving for her, not yourself so it will hurt that must more when you learn the truth, and you'll be tempted to throw away your progress in food and not working out later which many have said they won't, but get depressed and do anyways to somehow spite themselves.

>>17521272
>lost weight for her
Not at all. I started working out a solid month or so before I even starting speaking with her. I don't love the girl man, I just really want to bang.

>>17521272
>you went from being a free ride to being a slightly slimmer free ride. You have no actual value to her other than friend
Yeah that's actually how I saw it before I ran into her again this year. That's why i didn't even bother attempting to make contact with her.

However no one that I've had similar interactions with has treated me as "friendly" as she did when she saw me. She was also pretty flirty after that ride to the party but I just blew it off as something that wasn't gonna happen at the time.