How to deal with emotional parasites?

The fact that this is repeatedly happening to you should give you a good chance to examine what you say to these people that would make them feel open enough to talk to you about this stuff. If that's not the case, it's probably the type of person you attract. Either way, if you don't like it, just tell them that you don't know how to help them and leave them with that. Sure you'll be a dick but not much of a way around that.

Sometimes helping others is the best way to get through your own shit. Maybe you come off as a chill guy and people relax around you or maybe you've just been having bad luck with people.

Either way, it's okay to say "hey I'm going through a rough time and have a lot on my plate right now. Maybe you should get some help." You're not being a dick just being honest.

>>17520044
>>17520045
Thanks for the reply, i am a very caring person, and I've been told I'm "to nice". Usually I wouldn't mind helping other people with there stuff at the expense of my own but recently it's started to seem so one sided. Like it's all about them and how there feeling but when I need a friend they don't bother, they don't acknowledge how down I really am. I resent them for it.

>>17520071
You could always steer it to you.

Like
>I understand things suck for you, I'm struggling myself as well.

If they extend some support then it really might just be that things suck for a lot of people. If they don't then they just care for attention and should probably be cut out of your life, at least for the time being.

>>17520094
>If they don't then they just care for attention and should probably be cut out of your life
This. OP, it's good you tried to find new friends, but you might want to try again.

>>17520015

Everyone wants something from you anon, that's the cold hard fact of life. The difference between a good person and a parasite however is whether they'll stand by you and not use you as punching bag, the key to finding these people is networking and letting people know you're not a pushover.

Remove this people from your life anon, start again and become a better person. Go out to the gym, go running, improve yourself and as a result you'll improve the caliber of people around you.

>>17520094
This is probably true, I cut my last friend because this is literally what she did, she'd complain a lot, I'd listen to her and try my best to give advise and empathise with her, I'd tell her Something, she'd shrug, disregard what I've said and continue complaining... I can't go through that again.

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>>17520015

You keep coming into contact with this people because you're subconsciously attracted to them.

In the bigger picture its not really these people's fault. You seek out damaged people, befriend them, and then spend the life of your friendship griping about how needy they are.

Its a vicious cycle that you need to stop. This is something that perhaps you would benefit seeing a therapist about.

Find out why you magnetize to damaged people. Once you figure that out the rest will fix itself.

>>17520121
I've never thought of it that way... Maybe you're right.

>>17520119
It's something you just have to learn through experience I'm afraid. My best friend was the biggest source of misery in his own life. At own point he admitted to being being self sabotaging, but that he "couldn't help himself" (all in regards to a girl). It was the typical
>man life sucks because X
>well if you didn't do this X wouldn't ever happen
>yeah but you don't understand
But about every single issue

Anyways, the kicker is that he eventually cut me out of his life by giving me the cold shoulder and then cutting contact altogether. I guess it's for the better.

>>17520015
It may seem cruel, but sometimes you need to step away and hang with new people. It is flattering that people trusr in you with their emotions. But you need to think of yourself too. It's okay to do that cause you've already done so much.

Just chill with yourself my man.

> I've just lost my mum yet they still think it's appropriate to do this shit.

Tell them this.

I honestly don't know how to help you because whenever someone looks at me for advice I always try to help the best I could, never felt annoyed by it, I honestly see it as kind of endearing because it means that they feel comfy enough around you to always pour their heart out to you. If you don't wanna be a shoulder to cry on then I guess just put off that kind of motive and be a more straight forward and bold kind of guy, be less emotional and more logical

>>17520015
You know, I watched an episode of House wherein, at the end,a patient's mother asked if she could contact Dr.House if she had any questions.

He said "No." and just walked away; it was cold and mean, but he knew he wouldn't be bothered by this woman and he knew that he didn't care enough about what she thought, so he just told her the truth.

>Friends
You mean those things niggas who ain't got cars need?
>*dabs*