Leaving the love of my life due to not being attracted to her

>>17518812
it feels like such a horribly stupid thing to do - leaving a person who I feel like I could imagine spending the rest of my life with if I was only more attracted to her sexually. It's hard to describe in words how much I care for how she is and the way she thinks, I've never felt this way for anyone before and especially not another girl that I've been involved with. Never have I ever felt understood before and she just does - and likes what she sees.

I have no idea of how to cope with the thought of leaving that behind.

TLDR - Leaving someone I'm insanely attracted to mentally but who I have pretty much no sexual cravings for - am I stupid for doing so? Gimme your thoughts

>>17518812
>>17518812

Thats gross bro just bail

>>17518812
>>17518816
It's kind of sad, reading the way you described her, but it's probably because I've been through the same situation.

I had a 5 year relationship with a girl who loved me with all of her soul, and I left her because I lost attraction to her.

What you will realize is that attraction isn't everything. I've slept with a fair share of women since my break-up with the girl, and I've realized that I would take my ex over these women any day.

Yes, some of the sex I've had has been mind blowing.

Yes, the bodies on some of these women are phenomenal and put my ex to shame.

But, in the end, my ex's personality trumps it all. I love her very much, and I miss her.

This is a lesson that you have to learn for yourself. You need to satisfy that desire to be with someone else so that you can understand how trivial such a desire really is.

>>17518816
Since it's already on your mind I'd say leave and find someone you're actually attracted to. There will be others you connect well with mentally. Your partner also deserves someone who finds them attractive.

I do have an unsolicited opinion about your preferences though and I think they are shallow. If it bothers you that much I get it but to pass up on a great girl because she may not fit perfectly to your sexual liking may be a bit indicative of high standards.

It isnt like the girl is a hairy caveman or ugly. She's just not into wearing the underwear you like or shaving all her body hair. My girl is pale and has a european background so she has noticeable hair on her skin but I don't mind. Just my two cents

>>17518812
My grandmother and my grandfather told me that at the end companionship is the thing that makes us stronger. Love doesn't depend on attractiveness. You lose all that shit after a while. Not a lot of people fuck in their 60 because they just can't get it up
Enjoy life. Do what makes you happy. You could keep her as a friend and if you are happy with her not being in your life anymore then so be it. It's up to you to decide how much shallow you can stand to be (being shallow is not bad) because it depends on the kind of person you are and the kind of things that will make you happy

>>17518842
>>17518850
>>17518856
The problem is that sexual situations feel awkward due to me not being all that attracted to her. I suppose all those details I wrote about just is an indicator of that I don't feel the spark that I want to be feeling with someone I'm sexually attracted to.

I too feel that our connection is worth a hell of a lot more than getting rid of petty details, but it's not working for me at all sexually as of now, and I don't feel any spark whatsoever. We've been apart for 3 months

My ex had a mustache and hair under her chin that she waxed religiously. Her pussy and ass were hairy as a motherfucker. She even started getting pimples under her chill m chin from the waxing. She had dark skin from being kinda bigger then girls. Fuck m8 she even had a nice hair between her boobs a lot of time time. Sarcasm.

Anyway, when I'd wake up and she was in a long T and wearing nothing but a thong, couldn't help myself. To this day she is the baddest chick I've been with. Her personality and her idgaf just triumphed over many girls. She put out so hard during sex it actually made up for it. I'd cum anywhere on her and in her throat shed drink it up. I'd fuck her in the ass wherever I wanted and it was magically clean, then she'd lick it off. Her pussy was tight and her facial features besides the hair were crazy above par. Her eyes were huge and she has a glow to her face. We broke up because I couldn't take the bads anymore.

I wouldn't Kiss her when she didn't shave, I wouldn't eat her out cause she was too damn hairy. It was becoming the biggest turn off. I kid you not I tried closing my eyes but feeling her hairy ass lip I couldn't get to doing it. We had a deep ass connection, so deep I feel like I'm missing a part of myself now. Not kissing her and treating her like crap because I thought I was the only one who'd stay with her just wrecked the entire relationship.

Anyway, sometimes you gotta let go of shit because if it's too good to be true it is.

I'm the guy and this is probably how my ex feels about me.

Well, the sooner you break up the better for both of you. She has right to be with someone that's actually sure about her and accept her as she is. You have right to drop your "soulmate" for better fucks.

Sole thing that it all is a dilemma for you means that you should give her chance to look somewhere else in life instead wasting her time.

My ex is that she was hesitating like a stupid bitch and never even confronted me about it. I caught her cheating and she lost not only bf but a closest friend as well.

>>17518859
If you don't feel it and you don't feel it then you don't feel. And if that is important to you then move on. Nobody will judge you but you

Just don't regret it later. But don't waste her time either

>>17518812
Op you just described me and right now I'm looking up gym memberships, buying new undies and waxing out of paranoia that my boyfriends gonna come back and dump me. Don't do it J! I'll git gud I've just been lazy over the summer

>>17518874
I'm sorry about your experience. Can't wrap my head around how this came about, I never thought I'd actually get to experience a connection like this.
>>17518893
I hear what you are saying. I'm sorry about your experience. Just having a hard time giving up something that gave me so much.
>>17518908
I suppose so, thanks

Does she know at least? If those things that irked you about her were to be worked on would that make a difference?

>>17519169
I asked her once about the shaving thing and she gave me her arguments about why she didn't want to shave. I wanted to respect that

>>17518812
Everyone loses their looks eventually. Relationships that aren't based on looks are the longest lasting ones.

>>17519192
how should I go about sex and whatnot then?

>>17518874
what the fuck. why is female hair a turnoff? unless it's growing to manly lengths, then I would deal with it. probably better to leave, if you are someone who leaves over that.

I understand smooth is better, but damn. If you really care for someone, you appreciate what makes them different, and don't spend all day wishing for them to be modified to fit your preferences.

>>17519220
Bro she grew thick black hair under her chin and above her lip. When I shaved she had more then me. It was noticeable.

I miss the fuck out of her tho man.

in response to OP, it sounds like she stopped trying for you. a girl trying for you is one of the biggest aspects of being turned on, so I can't blame you for wanting to walk

however, if you give a damn about her, you'll voice your opinion before flat out leaving her with a lie

>>17519225
>she had more than me
yes, but can you grow a beard?

>>17519226
we were never officially together so she never actually tried. Would feel weird to shove that down her throat now.

what do you think I should tell her? I feel like telling her that I don't find her attractive is just going to put her down without it being to any benefit for her

>>17519225
>>17519228
also hair growth =/= hair length

>>17519184
Is she aware that's why the relationship has been dying? I'm sure she's noticed sex has become awkward. Does she know what's on your mind? People can't fix things if they don't know what the problem is.

>>17519232
oh and you want girls to wax or trim. you don't want them to shave their "pussy," it makes them look like a plucked bird.

if you two aren't together, then where are these ideas of great appreciation for her and leaving her coming from? that sounds like relationship stuff to me. if you two aren't together, she can't chew you out for not fucking her.

>>17519228
I did for the most part. The issue wasn't with me. It was with the public eye, i was just embarrassed. It's fucked up. And I realized after the relationship.

The only part that sucked was knowing it's only gonna get worse and worse as we grew up. If shes around my family with a full on beard? They saw it when we got in an accident and said, your girlfriend's really hairy and she had a beard. Like this isn't what I want to grow up with. I dont wanna get shit for being with my girlfriend. I didn't care as much because we called her a kitty and made it cute. It sounds fucked up but I started getting mad in the beginning because when we met, I didn't even know it got like that. As I liked her I would say can you get clean kitties to not sound mean lmao. Idk, I put up with her shit until she cheated on me. I chilled with her the entire week she didn't shave. Then one night she gets cleaned up, hit on, and cheated on me.
Couldn't fuck with it anymore.

>>17519236
we spent the summer apart (different cities) and weren't exclusive during that time. She didn't have any chance to notice any changes, I just noticed that the attraction wasn't there when I met her again. Wasn't interested in sleeping with her the first time I saw her again this week.

>>17519241
I haven't experienced that, shaving is just fine

we were saying that we'd be going either full on relationship or going our separate ways now after the summer, we had the discussion before the summer and didn't decide then.

We were exclusive before the summer too so the relationship thing isn't new

Currently in a commited relationship with an above average hairy girl with slightly masculine back. In the beginning fucking her doggystyle was awesome because fuck it doggy with the mailbox would've been awesome relatively to wanking. After a while it started to look like I was fucking a dude. Told her to gently but sincerely that she really needed more muscle in her ass and back to look more girlish and less of a travestite, she took it like a man, pun intended and my problem was solved after a while.

Sidenote, I workout myself so I 'invited' her to come to the gym with me.

>>17519258
>we're not in a "relationship"
then where's the problem at exactly? what do you need advice with?

>>17519257
well yeah only someone who is young could pass off facial hair as a reason to dump someone

but the cheating, I would dump someone on the spot for that, honestly

>>17519209
Your choice. You can work on it and try to find the sexiness in her or find someone who's more attractive. Hopefully you'll be able to find someone who's attractive and has a great personality, but the attractiveness will lessen with time and what will you do then? You can take the risk and postpone the unattractive period, but there are no guarantees.