ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

kk, I'm confused in my specific situation because I've had a lot of platonic friendships turning out quite shitty. I'm a girl.

>have close male friend
>we give each other cute compliments
>write good night texts
>make each other piss ourselves laughing every day
>we bicker like a married couple/fight like siblings
> we wingman each other too!

Can a female + male friendship like this work out? I really like him and I've even kissed his friend, but every friendship I've had with a guy like this (where we weren't even as close) has ended up with the guy being in love with me, thus turning out really shitty - do you think men & women can be friends?

Ladies, I'm curious. How do you personally rate men?

More often than not, men rate women off of appearances alone. Is it the same for you?

Or if a guy has a 5/10 face, but 7/10 body, 8/10 personality, 9/10 intelligence etc would you give him a 7/10 overall?

Or is this entire rating concept just completely autistic (after writing this all out I'm pretty sure I'm just being autistic)

>>17515660
>Or if a guy has a 5/10 face, but 7/10 body, 8/10 personality, 9/10 intelligence etc would you give him a 7/10 overall?

No. Like with men, the rating system is just looks. But like with men, most women don't want to settle down with someone who is a complete retard or a complete ass.

Good looks can make up for being a bit of a ditz or being slightly hot-headed. An ugly guy is friend material, personality and intelligence don't matter at all.

Girls,
If your bf asked how many guys you had sex with, would hide the guys you gave blowjobs?

>>17515517
as a guy, im curious as to how to appropriately word the following, "i want to put all 9" of my dick down your throat and hump your face until I cum inside your mouth"

>>17515660
Rating is only autistic when you don't take into account that literally everyone is different and that rate doesn't apply or matter to anyone other than that specific person.

Anyway, rates change in my book. You have the initial rate, which is solely 100% appearance based because that's all I have to go off of. If a dude is hella confident and dominant, in my book that can easily raise his attractiveness up at least by 1. I really only consider those 2 categories though, physical appearance and personality. There are no other "scales" to rate on imo.
My balance is more in favor of personality though. You can look like a mess but if you have a matching personality to mine, then I can still date you. However idc if you're a solid 11/10 in looks, if you're an asshole I don't even want to be in the same room as you. But both are important. If there's zero physical attraction in either looks or personality, I gotta tap out. There's gotta be at least a little in one or the other.

So TL;DR, yes in a way the "rate" is a combination of aspects as I get the info, but I don't consciously think of it that way.

>>17515680
I don't think you can appropriately word that m8. If you know the person long enough though they won't care about inappropriateness though.
>>17515679
Only if he was like me and didn't consider blowjobs sex. I'd probably verify what he considers sex first and answer honestly. Then I'd question why he's asking and if it's for a good reason or if he's just that insecure.

I think this is mostly for the women:

I tried asking in the previous thread, but now I can't find my post or if anyone responded.

I went on a date with a girl, and think it probably went OK. She said she would like to go out again, and kind of started making plans ("I'm free X day, we should do this again"). This is a girl I just met not too long ago, so we don't really know each other and weren't friends prior to going out.

At the end of the date, I walked her out to her car and she hugged me goodbye.

Is this a sign that she is or isn't into me? Is a hug goodbye after a first date a good sign, or is it pretty much nonverbally saying "I only like you as a friend?"

>>17515696
Could be either. If she's the shy type she just may only feel comfortable going that far.
Keep going out with her and you'll know. This is far too fresh for anyone to fucking know m8

>>17515679
I've had sex with everyone I've given a blowjob. But I don't consider blowjobs sex so if the numbers were different I wouldn't include bjs. If I later found out he thought cunnilingus and bjs were sex I'd probably correct it.

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>>17515696
>Is this a sign that she is or isn't into me?

Try to kiss her on the next date and you'll get your answer

>>17515646
>>17515646
yes there can be platonic m/f friendships, but they have to legitimately be friendships from both sides, not the guy clinging to the hope he'll get with the girl, and the girl stringing him on for attention (or vice versa i guess)

i dunno about the cute compliments/good night texts etc...it sounds like there might be conflicting intentions there...you be the judge tho

>>17515679
>try not to suck any dicks in the parking lot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooWbSDsY4nE

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how can i make introverted girls like me

it's really rare for me to get crushes, but when it happens it's always end up being a kinda dorky or introverted girl that likes books, movies, studies languages and other stuff

and i always feel lik i could talk for hours with them about a bunch of things, but usually they just keep the conversation short or they just end upl playing games with me and i never manage to make them like me enogh to go on dates

so i always lose to some variation of a tall hipster pseudointelectual that plays instruments

do you think there is any way for a short and kinda hairy guy like me with hyperactive imagination and only above average drawing skills to get a girl like this, no matter how much i improve and change the way i look i'll always end up looking stupid and immature to them just for tacting the way i am

i feel like shit, i can make a bunch of friends and even impress a bunch of people with some of my skills but i can never get the only kind of girl that i like

>>17515747
You're always going to lose to someone more attractive. That's life.

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if a girl says she's "too busy" for dating right now, or "needs to get her life more in order before dating", is this often true or just a way to say "I'm not interested but i don't want to feel bad telling you directly"

>>17515747
learn an instrument that's easily portable and cute/quirky?
ukulele is a common one

>>17515776
Always the second one. Move on, lad

>>17515786
i try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and put a little calendar reminder to check again in like two weeks

in almost every case upon checking in its either
>oh hey still busy
or
>ghosted

i think this is like the 10th time this has happened during the summer

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>Be White French Canadian with very good job
>Grew up protestant
>Girlfriend is Sikh Indian
>Go over to her house
>Her family is relgious
>About 10 paintings of Gurus
>Tfw no pictures of jesus
>Her Mom and brother hate me
>Her dad is indifferent to me
>Her Grandmother acts like i personally colonized India and stole all the tea


Why is her family so against me and my culture/beliefs while my family is so cool with her and love her?
Its like i make more money then her dad but they all still think im the worst thing in the world for their daughter

>>17515815
>Why is her family so against me and my culture/beliefs while my family is so cool with her and love her?
because
>Sikh Indian
it's basically like her family being evangelical or something, they're so fundamentalist they'll disapprove of everything you do period

>>17515781
Anon that would only make me look more childish, even if i learn other instruments someone like me just looks funny playing them
>>17515760
Im fucking desperate please, this is making my suicidal toughts come back after feeling alright for a good time, i feel like even at my best im never going to be good enough

I just want to know how it feels to like someone that likes you

>>17515815
>>Her Grandmother acts like i personally colonized India and stole all the tea

Actually steal her tea then.
And get her granddaughter wearing a a t shirt with a Canadian flag on it (tell her she looks sexy in it).

Her dad sounds chill.
But yeah, you're never gonna win any of the rest of them over, so don't even try.
The best you can do is have a laugh about this by making tonnes of subtle British colonisation references to her grandmother.

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Not trying to talk any shit just merely curious girls but guys can answer too
Why are people into sadomachism?
Get Freudian with me if you feel like.
Going to get some from a chick who is into it.
Any tips for a first timer?

>>17515815
Because it's 2016 and white men still exist. That would make anyone angry.

>>17515856
>this is making my suicidal toughts come back after feeling alright for a good time
You should really just kill yourself for being an enormous faggot.

I miss my exgirlfriend of one year ago a lot
Like "falling in love again" much
We were 2 years together, it was great

I looked for another girl since then, found some, only dated one. This last breakup reignited my feelings for my ex

Is "date more girls" the solution ?

>>17515883
get paid pupper

>>17515660
I don't really "rank" people with arbitrary numbers, rather I take a look at their assets and unfortunate qualities and then determine if any of the things I dislike are dealbreakers.

For example, I could handle him not having many friends, social media, bad family relationships and not owning a car. I could not handle really hairy backs or drug use. Men with hairy backs should kill themselves desu or laser remove it.

>>17515679
Not if he asked explicitly. It's not like I tell the accurate number anyways, its' always gonna be a few less.

>>17515696
Maybe she didn't feel ready for a kiss. FFS men always complaining about how women are too slutty but as soon as she goes for the hug then she's a friendzoning prude? bruh

>>17515747
you can make girls like you by not being a fat, hairy slob.

>>17515883
daddy issues probs, i'm vanilla and any guys who have issues with that I just assume are slut enablers. not gonna get freaky unless i have a ring on my finger and even then it won't be announced as my own personal preference like that's basically just saying your dad doesn't love you in the way that black chokers say "i love to suck dick"

>>17515961
>FFS men always complaining about how women are too slutty but as soon as she goes for the hug then she's a friendzoning prude? bruh
pretty sure the sloot accusation is from guys being rejected by girls then said girls going with a very handsome but dumb guy or a black guy with a big dick, etc.

Ladies, is someone that's mentally ill instantly unattractive?

>>17515660
I think I "rate" men based more on their personality than their looks. I have various types that I'm into I guess and if I were to pass a good looking guy on the street I'd notice him, but in terms of attractiveness it comes down to personality.

If a guy is really hot but has an awful personality I won't be attracted to him, but if he has a good personality, even if he's average I'll become more attracted to him.

For example I know a guy that I initially rated about a 5 ,but as I got to know him I found him to be very charming and kind and funny and now in my eyes he's like a solid 7 at least.

>>17515776
It could be either really. I'm at a stage in my life where I don't feel ready or like I have enough time or energy to invest in dating, so if a girl told you that it could be true. Then again women have said all kinds of things to get out of an awkward situation so who knows.

>>17516021
keep in mind these are girls i matched with on tinder or chatted with on OKC

>>17515990
Yeah pretty much.

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>>17516036
:(

>>17516030
Ah. well that's a different scenario then and she's probably not into you. I think if she were interested even if she was really busy she'd at least say hey I won't have any free time for the next three weeks or some thing like that

>>17516036
Sorry senpai, but no one wants to get pulled into someone else's emotional mess.

>>17515679
>blowjobs
>sex

Blowjobs aren't sex and it wouldn't even cross my mind to add them in

>>17515961
>but as soon as she goes for the hug then she's a friendzoning prude?
Someone's projecting.

>>17516075
It is not sex but it still count in the number of dicks you played with

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Fellow guys

Why do we like girls? It's stressful liking girls...

>>17516075
>>17516097

>Implying Oral Sex isn't Sex..

really??

>>17516075
I realize that oral sex is a form of sex, but if a guy asked me how many people i've had sex with I probably wouldn't think to include blowjobs. Then again I'd probably only give blowjobs to people i'm having sex with so that number should usually be the same.

>>17516170

Robot here.

Compartmentalise your feelings. Accept that you are attracted to them, but that doesn't mean you have to like them, put up with their bullshit, play their rigged games, etc.

Just because you like them physically, don't mean you have to like them personally.

A rose if the perfect metaphor for a woman. Nice to look at, but has thorns.

If it's so stressful to you, maybe you should just appreciate the physical beauty, rather than trying for anything more (and getting stung again).

You know, look, but don't touch, talk or get caught looking. Why does anything else have to happen?

Seriously, living this way, means 99% less stress.

Do girls like a bit of persevernce from guys when its still at the getting to know you stage? Obviously without being annoying, like can persevering when you dont know how they feel about you yet help or hinder?

Thanks in advance

>>17516190

It's difficult. I feel so.. Bitter now. a girl used my emotions. Then just stopped for no reason at all. Nothing bad ever happened. I never did anything wrong. But she just acted like everything was cool and started having sex with other men.

It eats me away inside thinking about it. I think about her, and see hot girls. But it makes me feel so angry.

>>17516170
Because it is in our natural instincts to desire a mate, you just have to understand that your not limited by your having (or not having) of a mate

>>17516205

Anger is bad. It means you cared too much.
It also makes you do stupid shit.

Gotta be zen about these things.

Lower expectations when it comes to women, as in, expect the worst from them, because right now, you're setting the bar far too high and you're only ever going to be disappointed.

Stop caring about them because they sure as shit don't care about you.
I don't say that out of hate or anger, but out of survival.
It's better for you if you care less than they do. It gives you more leverage.

Anyone who's tried online dating-
What dating site has the most people looking to actually date, and not pump and dump, in your opinion?
A few years ago, I gave OKC a shot, but really only got messaged by sugar daddies, despite it being in my profile "please only message me if you are within 5 years of my age." I actually had to put that disclaimer it got so bad.
Last year I tried tinder, the appeal being that I could guarantee they'd actually be around me and not 5 states away, but with the obvious outcome of literally no match I got wanted anything more than 30 minutes of fun. Thinking about trying okc again, since it's been a few years. Maybe it's better idk. Frankly I hate online dating but it's all anyone does anymore.

>>17516237

I don't act angry or show anger around others, I keep it to myself.

God, I don't want to even hear about women anymore. I don't want to hear about SEX. I don't want to hear about RELATIONSHIPS. I don't want to hear it anymore. It just makes me so fucking bitter. I opened myself up, and really got hurt. this feeling shit has made me weak.

>>17515679
If you ask 'bed partners' I would respond the amount beyond third base, if you ask 'sex' then I would just respond with the amount I've had sex with. Literally that word. Blow jobs =/= sex. That said, I've never giving a blow job to someone I've never had sex with as well. I also don't do blow jobs without getting the favor returned.

>>17516255

It gets better.

You just have to come to terms with the fact that all women hate men.

They're the enemy.
You can like them but getting too close is fucking stupid.

>>17516190
Why do robots always sound like drama kings? Humans all have their thorns, even you, though you probably see yourself as a special snowflake.

>>17516299

I really should start lurking /r9k/..

Fuck my life. I have a therapist. But I don't even feel comfortable talking about girls with him

>>17516314
Do not do that. You'll just end up wallowing and in self pity and hatred, and assuming that all women are agents of satan.

>>17516331

oh..
Well what should I do? I just feel so fucking bitter.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not disrespectful toward women or anything. But I just feel so internally bitter. I get angry at the thought of girls and sex

>>17516331
>assuming that all women are agents of satan.

This is a lie.

I said they are the enemy. I did not say they were evil or working with some mythical deity of evil.

Just that they are not good for us.

>You'll just end up wallowing and in self pity and hatred
Well the alternative is /pol/ if you would rather he be more active about his feelings and opinions?

Besides, everyone ends up wallowing and in self pity before they reach acceptance.

Plus, /r9k/ aint what it used to be, I don't know why I still identify as a robot.
It's 49% meme-obsessed kids, 49% "fembots", 1% /b/-tier trolls, 1% old robots.

He might get a few red-pills if he shovels through enough shit.

>>17516347
Most people are shit, you have to develop your judging skills.
From experience i can tell you, safely, that at least 50% of the people are shit. I can tell you, hoping it's not true, that 80% of the people are shit.
Judging how people talk and act and why they do that will take you far.

>>17516357

But the problem is because I'm a guy. Naturally, sex is something that goes through my brain a lot. It's just biology. But everytime the thought of sex pops up. I think of stupid fucking sluts, AND I think of that girl getting fucked silly and it makes me feel sick.

>>17516368
There is nothing you can do about that. Take a break from women if you want or never give a fuck about them anymore, doesn't matter as you can still be happy without them.
What you really have to do is turn that angry into something productive for you; be it some fighting sport or learning a trade.
Anger is not something you want to dwell on; you can be happy avoing any kind of people but you can't be happy feeding bad feelings. Inner peace is much more important than anything external.

>>17516400

It's impossible to avoid. Because sex is everywhere. Literally, I was just watching the news and they were talking about a Sexting scandal. People talk about sex all the time. It pisses me off..

>>17516412
Then you don't avoid it.
Leash out that anger on something that doesn't have a feeling, like a punching bag. I can recommend boxing as it is very satisfying to let it all out with punches. Unfortunately, unless you are really good, you won't be able to throw angry away when sparring, because the other guy will beat you, but the bag does the job well.

>>17515517

Grillz, if you met a guy who was 7.5 across the board in every department but could be a sweet, tender lover in bed when you wanted or a remorseless, dominating fuck machine when you wanted it.

Would this be appealing to you?

>>17515646
One of my best friends is a female that I had 9th grade drama class with. We're both in our mid 20s now.

Basically the same thing. We're a little flirty when we're together, she tries to introduce me to girls, and talks shit about my exes with me.

Don't listen to the myth. Men and women can be friends, as long as one doesn't have a secret intent to fuck the other one. If you're both genuinely happy being platonic friends (which comes with lots of benefits on its own), then there's no reason it shouldn't work.

>>17515696
>She said she would like to go out again, and kind of started making plans
What more do you want? Some women like to keep things slow for the first few dates.

>>17516463
I'm more concerned why you think this would be unappealing? souns like a dream

Ever get back with an ex? Did it work out?

>>17516496

>ask opposite sex

Which sex are you opposite of?

>>17516484

I'm good looking, witty, takes care of the cars/house/bills and can be whatever you want me to be both in and outside of bed.

But sometimes a guy seems to scare grillz; like they don't know who you really are or what you're capable of.

I've heard the term psychopath used before.

They didn't complain much but I think they really were afraid of me on some level.

Girls,

In college did you like being approached on campus or in class if so how long do you have to wait if the guy is very funny, interesting, and has a nice bod to ask you for your number/meet you later
Does that sound to direct or can you please explain how/what you preferred or did in college

>>17516506
Huh, unless theres some red flag you emit without realizing that sounds like a good thing to me.
Only negative vibe I get is from
>can be whatever you want me to be
Like do you have your own independent personality or does it literally change to fit the desires of whoever you're talking to? Because that can be weird, and seem fake. There's gotta be something concrete in your personality that doesn't waver from person to person.

>>17516516
I will admit it seems a little forward for a dude to give me his number the first time we've talked, but I will also take into account whether or not its likely for us to run into one another again. First talk might be the only chance, you know? If it's a classmate though I'd hope he'd talk to me a few times before trying to get contact info out of me. Because we'll see each other at least once a week, no need to rush then. Plus it gives you a good excuse, "Oh hey can I get your number in case I miss class or something and need the notes? Or we can do homework together if you like"

Only protip I got is always give them your number, never ask for theirs. If they contact you, then they contact you. It's just awkward on chicks to be put on the spot with a request for their number because it seems rude to reject. If you just slip them a note with your number or something saying "If you're interested, here's how you can reach me!", they don't have to worry about making a scene or anything. They can do what they please with your number.

And this tip goes both ways too. Ladies if you wanna get in contact with a dude, don't ask for their number, give them yours.

>>17516506
they were probably scared of your narcissism and blatantly desperate desire for validation

Girls

Would you ever friendzone a guy who you've flirted with/been attracted to in the past? assuming nothing bad ever happened between you, that he's been great to you, just because of things outside of your control you couldn't go further? Would you actually just drop him in the friendzone? Or would he be a friend to you, but a special category?

What are red flags when talking to women if my goal is a long term relationship?

I seem to be retarded when it comes to picking women.

Girls

Would you ever date an honest guy? Seems like an obvious "yes", but it's not all that fine, I have a tendency to say what comes to mind, which is pretty honest, and that got me in a lot of trouble since honesty can be worse than a terrible insult. Worst thing is, I realize I'm an asshole, but I'm fine with who I am, at least I can handle the truth about myself.

>>17516634
Honest to the point you're autistic is not something I want to deal with. Just sounds like you're using it as an excuse to be an ass, 2bh

>>17516565
You make it sound like 'the friendzone' is so black and white and that all women think the same. It's not and we don't.

>>17516634
Nobody likes honest people.

>>17516651

>You make it sound like 'the friendzone' is so black and white and that all women think the same. It's not and we don't

Can you give me a example? When I think friendzone. I think a girl decides she won't view someone sexually.

Girls,

Do you like it when a guy picks you up? I mean physically lift you off of the ground

>>17516659
Like I said, it's not black and white - it's not a case of either you're 'in the friendzone' or you're not. For example, there are guys who we feel 'I'd date him if he asked me out I'd probably say yes but I couldn't care less if he didn't' or 'He's attractive, but the more I get to know him the less I like him' (or vice versa) etc.

>>17516634
I'll put it this way, honesty is good, when asked. Never lie about things, but you also don't have to bring up shit that was never asked.
For an age old example, if your chick shows up in an unflattering dress, best to keep your mouth shut. There's no need to point out how bad it looks.
However, if you chick walks up in an unflattering dress and asks "How do I look?" Then yes, by all means say "It's not flattering."
And there's also a difference between "It's not flattering" and "Holy shit you look ugly as fuck". Wording/phrasing makes the difference between good honesty and asshole honesty.

>>17516673

I'm just curious if a girl could have been attracted to a guy in the past. But then for no specific reason lose interest in him. Especially if he's greatly improved his appearance and mindset over that time.

>>17516681
Of course she could.

>>17516682

God dammit...

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>>17516672
Unf, yes. Feels so good.
>tfw you're too fat to lift, and probably always will be.

>>17516682

Reading that literally ruined my night. I'm at the gym right now and just lost all motivation to be here

>>17516693
>>17516684
>If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.

>>17515517
So my Bday is coming up & this chick I know has started liking heaps of these dating/relationship posts on facebook.

Do you think shes planning on asking me out on my birthday?

>>17516724
Ayy lmao
I hope she isn't because you need to get over yourself

so, this girl i once dated freshman year of college (2011) has since still been texting me and basically harassing me since then, and every time I block her number, she uses some kind of app to change hers so she can continue harassing me. I've tried everything short of a restraining order. what do I do??? she wont leave me alone even when I have girlfriends.

Girls:

When you know a guy is interested in you but you're too nice to not tell him you're not interested in him, why do you this?

Are you just keeping him as a back-up or are you really just afraid to say something?

If a guy knows that you're not interested in him but you're too nice to say otherwise, should he stop trying like there's zero chances that you're going to go out with him? Or should he try a few more times?

>date super submissive girl
>push her against a wall and talk to dirty in her ear one day
>she's fucking soaked
>get continually more aggressive with her as time goes on
>she has been talking lately about more rough treatment
>wants a plastic bag over her head
I honestly don't know if I'm comfortable with that, when she asked I told her I would think about it. Advice? Either gender works

>>17516533

Don't lovers usually try to change their partners into what they want over time?

I just save them time and give them what they want as long as in doing so, it makes me happy.

>>17516800
I think you're about to cross the line from rough sex to legit sex that could kill her. If you play with fire expect to get burnt

>>17516796
What, like he hasn't actually made a move?

Why would I preemptively reject someone? What if he's not actually interested in me and it's my ego talking? What if he thinks I'm presumptuous for rejecting him before he makes a move?

Why SHOULD I tell him I'm not interested if he hasn't told me he's interested in me? If he wants an answer, he can ask me out

>>17516565
The "friendzone" isn't a thing that I put guys into to punish them or because I dislike them, sometimes I'm just not attracted to a guy, it doesn't mean anything against him, I'm just not interested. So would I "put him in the friendzone"? No because that's not usually something I actively choose to do.
So how I felt about him would depend on the closeness of our relationship I guess.

Question for women:

If you legitimately look good without makeup, why do you insist on makeup? I understand most women look better with some level of makeup, even if its just highlighting certain features, but some women look better minimal and they just cake that shit on. Its a shitload of work from what i understand, and it makes you look worse when you're naturally pretty to plaster on a Heath Ledger's Joker level of makeup

>>17516772
Change your number. I know tmobile only charges something like 15 bucks or so to change your number. I;m sure it's not that expensive with other carriers either.
If not, restraining order bro. If you haven't already, just try threatening her with it and see if that alone gets her off your back. But you may need to follow through with that threat. Save everything, all texts to you, save all texts to any of your gf's at the time. Save evidence of you blocking her. Save it all. Then Lawyer up son. You'll likely win, and you can counter sue her for the legal fees too so it'll all be on her dime (provided she has any money to give anyways).

>>17516634
I personally would like to date an honest guy because I have a tendency to be the same way and find myself pussyfooting around people's feelings. But I think in general girls prefer it when you find nice way to say things instead of stating it bluntly. And if there's no need to bring it up, don't talk about things you know would needlessly upset/hurt their feelings.

>>17516859
Because I like putting on makeup. I've gone makeup free during things like study periods where I'm not leaving the house or anything, and by the end of it, my fingers itch to apply some.

>>17516800
This>>17516833
If its going too far say so. And if it sounds dangerous don't fucking do it. No one will ever believe she asked you to do it when you've got a corpse in your apartment filled with your jizz.

>>17516800
In any relationship, its probably best to set limits on what you're willing to do. That personally wouldn't bother me, but if its something that makes you legitimately uncomfortable, tell her. Be honest, and make it clear that you want to make her feel good, but that its something that you genuinely don't feel comfortable doing. More likely than not, she'll understand

>>17516859
Because it's fun and relaxing. It's nice to take some time in the morning to pamper yourself before you go out and have to deal with shit all day. It's fun to try new looks, it's like art on your face. Also it gives some women a boost of confidence. I think most women believe they look better with makeup anyway.

How attractive does a woman have to be before you feel like she doesn't need to be wearing makeup? I hear a lot of guys saying they prefer women without it, but I'm not sure if they know what that looks like.

>>17516834
Interesting. I'll be honest, I haven't asked her out. On one of her social media accounts she said something like, "If I know that someone is interested in me, I'm too nice to be blunt and tell them I'm not interested." I've just been throwing hints at her and she hasn't turn me down. I dunno, do you think she really isn't interested? I know you can't really answer that, but can you at least tell me what that means? Like as a person. Could she just really be shy or something?

>>17516796
It is awkward, and hard to do so directly. Its hard to hurt someone's feelings, and if it's someone you do like, just not that way, you don't wanna crush their esteem man.
Some dudes need it though, and I will go that direct route if necessary, but most of the time I'd rather just cut him off or make it clear I'm not interested in other obvious ways outside saying flatly "I ain't into you bro move the fuck on."
My go to way of telling a dude I'm not interested is talking about other guys I find attractive or want to date.
"Man I have such a crush on this dude that's not you. I dont think I'll ever move on from this guy that's not you. I wish this dude that's not you would come sweep me off my feet."
Most guys can take the hint after that.
>If a guy knows that you're not interested in him but you're too nice to say otherwise, should he stop trying
If you know beyond reasonable doubt she's not into you then why the fuck would you? Let it go.

>>17516672
No. It makes me self-conscious about my weight.

>>17516908
They have moms, aunts, sisters and girlfriends so they know.
I have a carzy old lady that sleeps on the street but she looks hideous with or without it.

>>17516825
Theres a difference between compromise and full blown adaptation.
If you're a whole new person for each individual you come in contact with, like I said it feels extremely fake. Like I had a dude who used me for sex before. Told me what I wanted to hear, molded himself into this slick personality fit specifically for me, only so that he could get in my pants. It was extremely hurtful to be told I was loved, that I was cute and charming, all that noise, and then find out it was all just sweet talk. None of it was real.
And that's probably where your red flag comes in, because that's the kinda vibe I get from
>give them what they want as long as in doing so, it makes me happy.
You may not have as malicious of intent as my ex did, but it still comes across like that. That you're just going to feed me whatever line you want to get your own rocks off, but none of it is real. This is fine and all in a kinky ons/role play type deal but in a relationship it's a tad disingenuous

>>17516912
Honestly? How the fuck should we know? I think she might be totally oblivious to the fact that you're interested in her, in the same way that guys are usually oblivious when girls are dropping obvious hints about being interested in them.

That post on social media could have been about something unrelated or something that happened in the past. Or maybe she does know that you're interested and is trying to dissuade you. Either way there's no way to know unless you tell her you're into her.

>>17516916
Okay. It's weird though, like I said here: >>17516912

She doesn't talk about other guys to make it obvious that she's not interested in me like you were saying. It's just that, she doesn't turn me down, but then she would post things on social media about not being interested in people. I don't know it's weird. Maybe I shouldn't take social media so serious.

I throw a lot of hints at her and I know that sounds like some kiddie bullshit, but I just want to see how she reacts to certain things. Is what I'm doing fucked up? Like, is that seen as playing with someone's emotions or something?

>>17516921
You mean their family is telling them whether or not they're attractive?

>>17516859
women are passive so they avoid confrontation

never expect a women to anything

expecting a women to act is like expecting a dog to speak

>>17516948
Meant for
>>17516796

>>17516859
All women have self esteem issues to some level. Even the hot ones, it's just a fact. Very rarely will a girl even think she doesn't need makeup, but even so makeup in a way is an art. Think about tattoo's, people who aren't opposed to them typically spout some shit like "My body is the canvas for this work of art."
Makeup is like a temporary tattoo. You can turn your skin into a work of art, but without the commitment.
Also like art, you like some, but others you find overboard and stupid. What you think is caked on Joker make up looks good to someone else. Sometimes they're just bad at it though too. It is what it is. People can do whatever the hell they want with their own bodies, and they aren't always catering to you. They look better minimal to you, but to the guy they really want, they look better with the "caked on" makeup.

>>17516947
No, i mean they know how a girl looks withou make up...

>>17516945
Then my suggestion is /she/ isn't actually aware you're interested in her. Go ahead and tell her, and you'll get your answer. If you make a definitive move, she'll either have to accept you or reject you. It's like the other person said, why would we preemptively reject someone that hasn't made it 100% clear they want us?

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>>17515961
>>17515886

im not super fit but i don't look bad, i don't know why this makes me feel so bad , today after class i tried to invite her for coffe, but she said that she just wanted to go home and sleep

meanwhile the other 3/4 of the class invited me to go for pizza, we all had fun and now we are planning a lot of things for the future, then they asked why this girl never hangs out with anyone, to the point were they already assumed that she wouldn't want to go to a future party

honestly i think i've never been this socially active in my life, going out with my classmates is great but i really would have preffered to go for coffe with this girl, there were other girls there but they are just not my type, as i said before getting crushes is really rare for me

she and other girl liked my drawings during class today, so i felt confident to ask her out again but i gess she is too busy and i just want to talk with her more because seeing her smile makes me feel happy

i don't know why i even mentioned the hairy thing, i just feel like the reason why she doesn't talk to much with me is because i must look to stupid

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Do male escorts exist and how does one go about finding them?
I don't even want sex, I've just gotten to the point where I'm willing to pay someone to pretend they love me so I can move on from a fucking relationship that ended 6 years ago.

>>17516984
They exist and you find them on the usual channels, like back-pages, craigslist or if your really despite try /soc/.

>>17516984
that sounds more like you need a boyfriend to care about you. You can find that, don't bother with fake shit

>>17515815
the dad doesnt like you either hes hiding it. If he acts out itll easily become a bloody fight. He doesnt want to risk jail nor push his daughter further into your arms.
They want another punjabi indian thats it. Plus being white there is still that animosity. Even when you do marry this wont go away and itll be marrying the familiy, I advise that you run.
Plus they do see whites as a high risk divorce deal and more liberal upbringing of their grandkids.
im not Sikhs but part indian.
ps indian in laws are a pain in the ass

>>17515517

Girls
How big of a turn off would it be to know that I guy you were dating slept with a bunch of escorts in the past?

>>17516984

since you're a girl, you don't need to pay for shit. If you make a Tinder you'll find anything you want. And yes there is guys on there that would take you out on dates. It's not all sex

>>17515646
only if you're both with someone better than they/you are
>>17515883
get paid pupper
there's not always a concise explanation for kinks, some people believe early formative experiences (ex. trauma, weird interests) play into it
>>17516170
WE like girls, you like men. faggot
>>17516254
match/eharmony

>>17517011
curious about this desu, since many guys pay to lose their virginity

>>17516916
>My go to way of telling a dude I'm not interested is talking about other guys I find attractive or want to date.

Not him, and sounds like a solid way to drop a hint, but do you think you are in the minority with this method? Or are there girls who do this to make a guy jealous or gauge their reaction or some shit?

It sounds like I'm worried about a specific girl and trying to convince myself I have a chance, but I'm asking because it seems like the kind of thing that would come up a lot in conversations with women. Like should I assume whenever a girl does this she's not interested? Because the last girl I talked to had mentioned other guys being hot to me and she had a crush on me. But I guess she didn't really stress wanting to date them at all so that could be the difference

>>17517000
I've tried, I'm still too hung up on this guy. I need a rebound, even if it's fake, for the confidence boost. I can repress the fact none of it's real, I just need to feel desirable and loved again in order to move on and go back on the market for real.
>>17517012
I tried tinder in the past. I never got many matches to begin with, even fewer that replied to me, and of those few not a single one was interested after their opening line of "DTF?" was met with "I'm not looking for casual sex right now really"
It's not like I was even really picky when swiping either. Only dudes that got nixed were the ones with kids and that one dude with the swastika tattooed on his forehead (wish I was exaggerating/joking. Literal swastika face tattoo.)

I come from a mixed indian and middle east muslim background, and Im always told that we are creepy when we try to date out how so?

I ask this because, being from the 2 most conservative communities they perfer a full blooded groom from their country for their daughter. Plus Im kinda of a robot to them in the sense Im not that hot headed like a sterotypical latino.

Im born here so very westernized so I want to ask, whats the best way for me to date out since my area is ALL white and asian.

I dont want to limit myself to my circle since you can easily miss out. Plus its a headache being the "secret" from the family.

>>17516984
host clubs maybe

>>17517024
eh I can only speak for myself. Are there women who'd use those lines for that purpose? Of course. Are they minority or majority I can't say. Personally, I lay it on pretty thick if I think he's still questioning the hint. Like I don't actually include the "that's not you" bit when talking about other guys to a dude I'm not into, but I get pretty damn close. Like any time they start with something that I think might be flirty, I squash the situation immediately to make it about as unflirty and unromantic as possible.
"Femanon I'm surprised you don't have more dudes hanging off you, you're such a wonderful person-"
"Hah yeah right? I'm really into this dude, realllly into him, I hope he comes around. But then he'll see how gross I am. Like I blew up the toilet the other day, really wrecked it like hiroshima in there."

Shit like that (no pun intended). I have no issues with making myself seem like a gross bitch to get a dude to move on from me without my having to crush his self esteem.
Rather him change his mind about liking me to thinking I'm gross than hurt him.

>>17517044
Do those actually exist outside Japan? lol

>>17517024
I sometimes do it to gauge reactions. If i start talking about other guys and he doesn't seem to care, or if he tries to give me advice on how to get together with them, then I would assume he wasn't interested. I feel like that goes both ways though.

I mean if a guy was talking about girls he was attracted to around me, I would think he wasn't into me.

I don't know if i'm the minority on this though.

>>17517057
heard one opened up in toronto.
but dont women have friendzone guys for that

>>17517058
>I mean if a guy was talking about girls he was attracted to around me, I would think he wasn't into me
lol a dude's actually the one who gave me the idea. Guy friend of mine who was super hot and completely out of my league asked me out to a bar one night, completely platonically on his end, but I couldn't tell that at first. He must have gotten the hint that I was unsure if this was a date or not, so he started flirting with the bartender and telling me all about his latest hook ups, all with women who were the exact opposite of me.
Frankly though I think he laid it on too thick lol. I got the hint pretty quickly.
>Was only mad because I shaved my junk for nothing.

>>17517066
>implying I'm attractive enough, physically or mentally, for any dude to even want to spend more than 3 minutes with me
In order to have friendzoned guys on standby I'd need to have guys in the friendzone to begin with. Lately, like I said, it's been
"Wanna fuck"
"Can we wait and get to know each other first?"
"bye lol"
I wish I could get the kind of emotional response from a guy to even have the problem of deciding to friendzone him or not. Fat ugly hermit types with 6 year long break up woes don't get the luxury of "back up guys".

>>17517078
maybe fatter uglier guys could be your back up

>>17516474
I'm just not certain if she actually wants to go out again, or was just being nice by saying it.

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>>17517094
>tfw there isn't anyone more disgusting and fucked up in the head than you

>>17517045
thanks for the input

>>17517058
that's a logical assumption to make I suppose, but I feel like in my case and in a fair amount of other guy's cases it's not that great of a way to gauge reactions

I mean, if I say the wrong thing when a girl is talking about a guy being hot it could come off as creepy/controlling/autistic/whatever. Like if I say something that shows I care about a girl just talking about some superficial attraction I'll give the impression I'm really uptight or insecure, isn't that unattractive? Obviously, it feels good when someone you like gets visibly annoyed at something like that because it implies that they have the same feelings, so I'd like to react that way, but if I'm not sure they like me or not then it's too risky. What's a good way to show that you care without making a poor impression?

But even though my (admittedly limited) experience with women says otherwise, I think I'd also assume to some extent a girl wasn't interested in me if she was talking about a guy she was attracted to around me. Mainly because I can't imagine myself talking about being attracted to another girl to a girl I liked. It's a little weird to me that you do it to gauge interest sometimes but still would assume a guy wasn't into you if he did the same, though

>>17517109
you could hire a gay guy or male escort line like backpages.
or you can go overseas for male gigalos.
like turks moroccans jamicans will chase after fat girls

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>>17516916
>My go to way of telling a dude I'm not interested is talking about other guys I find attractive or want to date.

fuck me, this is why my friends hate me for no apparent reason. This happened in high school, and then again and again in college. One day we were all chummy, the next day he got aggressive and then started avoiding me.

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>>17517142
Works for some, not for others. What can I say?

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I'm female
> how do I tell my ex of 3 years that I just got back together with that he feels like a stranger?
He broke up with me. It's been8 months. We recently saw each other (spent an entire day together). But whenever he texts me I'm all anxious and feel like i don't know him. So I'm not very social which isn't good for a ldr
He has one more year of school. We have no set date to see each other and he's a 3 hour drive.

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>>17515961
>>17515886

wou know what maybe you are right and im actually a fucking ugly faggot that happens to be good at making friends, or i just don't deserve any chance at dating

just please someone tell me how to move on, i don't want to feel anything so i can be fully free to have fun at whatever party or hang out my friends and classmates invite me without constanly thinking how nice it would be to talk with this girl or wondering why she doesn't accept any invitation

will a woman's hits get wider during every pregnancy?

>>17516916
And im ur mind this is being nice?

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>>17517208
Lesser of 2 evils I guess. If he wants to be rejected flat out he should just tell me his feelings flat out. I just figure subtle rejection is better than the humiliation of being formally rejected.
That's how I'd want it at least. If I were rejected in a similar manner that I do, it would feel a whole lot better than the dude saying frankly "No, I'm not attracted to you" At least I leave with my dignity in the former, because then I can just say "Oh yeah, hah I just lost interest in him. That's it, it was my decision to let him go, not the other way around" instead of "He essentially said I was too ugly to bone"

Girls:

There's this girl I'm interested in. We talk to each other only when we're working together on the job. She asked for my number, but she never texts me or initiates chats on messenger whatsapp and whatnot. Is it a case of me maybe being boring to chat with? Is it common for girls to reply after a good while?

This girl would seemingly find ways to be around me but it's hard to tell if it's because she likes to be around me or she wants me to make a move possibly. She would go out of her way to say hi to me and she would ask if I want certain things and would not offer other people if they were in the same room. Offers like hey I'm getting a drink would you like something? Or hey this is my last cookie would you like to have it?

Don't know what to do.

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>>17517036
any takers for my ?

>>17517157
> how do I tell my ex of 3 years that I just got back together with that he feels like a stranger?
>We broke up 8 month ago
>We are a LDR
>We will not be able to be together for at least 1 more year

You kind of buried the lead there...

How do you tell an ex that he feels like a stranger? That's what you're basically SUPPOSED to aim for when you try again--to start over again as people new who don't know each other and want to start from scratch to learn who the other person is now. Otherwise, every mistake and misconception that lead you to breaking up the first time, will just happen again.

This isn't something you should feel bad about, and it's something you can easily communicate with something as simple and lighthearted as "Let's forget the past and start from scratch. Hi, my name is <anon>".

However...

you've only been apart for 8 months (which makes potential change, slightly questionable)... And now that you're back "together", you're not even together as this is a long distance relationship and spend very little time with one another.

Brutal truth is, if you can't put in the time/effort to get to know someone, your relationship isn't very likely to succeed.

>>17516859
>If you legitimately look good without makeup, why do you insist on makeup?

Not a femaleanon, but in the words of my girlfriend (because I've asked her this exact question:
"Because it's something that makes me feel kind of relaxed when I do it, the same thing with my nails".

And I completely get what she means. I have a similar thing with shaving. I could just do a couple of sweeps with some canned barbarsol shaving cream and be done in a couple minutes, but I like the ritual of taking my time and soaking a brush and bar of shaving soap, of opening my pores, of lathering up some foam and applying it, of shaving with care, of applying a balm.

It's an extra luxury that I do not at all need to do but doing it makes me feel good and relaxes me.

>>17517266
>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

Learn to read while you're at it.

Is there any decent way to keep interest up just through texting? I always feel like I'm the one initiating conversation. She responds pretty quickly when I text her, but she was waffling on meeting up when I asked her and later bailed due to "needing to study for a test she just found out about"(even though it was just an invitation to grab some coffee.). She's really cute and I want to invite her out again, but I'll be out of town all weekend. How screwed am I? Am I just being strung along for attention?

>>17516254
>Anyone who's tried online dating-
>What dating site has the most people looking to actually date, and not pump and dump, in your opinion?

It's been about 18 months since I last used a dating site, so take this with a grain of salt--but that's also exactly where I met my girlfriend (who I've been with since).

I've used pof, okc, tinder, and one more I can't think of atm (i've also talked to someone who did eharmony and okc, though he pretty much said he kind of hated eharmony because of how canned all responses feel compared to everything else)

OKC was definite the best of those I've used (where i met my gf).

Reading in to them TOO deeply is a bad idea, but if you're the type that likes to read profiles and the questionnaires, you can pretty damn accurately asses what the fuck people are about in a way the no other service (that i've tried) offers.

I definitely used it to kind of filter out what women I contacted and what women I responded back to (though it was rare as fuck for them to message me unprompted in the first place.)

I know that my girlfriend basically only responded to me because 1 My initial message intrigued her, 2 my profile was pretty well thought out. One of her best friends did something similar with her husband (they also met on OKC. Got married about 4 months ago)

I've talked to a lot of women about their online dating experiences (usually one of the idle topics i'd bring up while on dates because--while on the surface of things it seems awkward--in reality it's common ground and people like to bitch and swap stories haha), if you go back to OKC it's still going to be that same 50+ to 1 ratio of people not worth talking/responding to (btw, that was pretty similar to my own experience as a guy) but that doesn't mean it doesn't work or that it's impossible to find someone.

btw, if you're tired of getting flooded with spam, you could always try something like Coffee Meets Bagel/Bumble and see if that's popular in your area.

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>>17517036
ladies any answers?

>>17517036
I'm honestly not sure what you're asking here.

I'm going to try to answer your first question:
I personally find men of your background very physically attractive but because of a certain level of racism that I've been exposed to throughout life, I stereotype them to be violent and/or controlling of women and I tend to shy away. That's just me, though. I'm sure that many women feel the same, but on the other hand I'm sure that many women are more able to look past the stereotypes and may even fetishize you. Which is still kind of a problem in a different way, but at least you have a chance with them.

>>17517365
>I personally find men of your background very physically attractive
kek

>>17517365
>I stereotype them to be violent and/or controlling of women and I tend to shy away

ic
curious does this also sterotype black and latin men as well?

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At guys: literally when do you consider a girl your girlfriend. I've been fucking this guy for like half a year, we have all these pet names and talk all day. But he still considers himself single. Pretty sure its cause if I was his girlfriend he'd be cheating on me but like. what the fuck.

>>17517410
Not in the same regard. The specific stereotype I mentioned is mostly in reference to religiously driven abuse. Stereotypes for those races are a bit different but still exist.

>>17517422
Some guys fear commitment,
Basically this gives him free reign to fuck other girls.
If it really bothered you, you would not stay with him.
By staying with him you non-verbally consent to this arrangement.

This guy I like is a pretty friendly person with good manners. He also seems apathetic about dating and flirting. Lately he has become friendlier towards me but I can't tell if his behavior is because he might like me or if I'm just reading too much into it. I haven't seen him interact with any other females around for me to make any comparisons since we only interact around our mutual guy friends. Is there any way for me to figure out why he's friendlier? Inb4 ask him directly.

>>17517422
>But he still considers himself single
kek
this is just like a buddy of mine, his status in every social website is single yet in every instagram/facebook post I see this same 18 yo chick with her hands all over him.

>>17517444
Kek will that you ask directly.

Or if you have the patience and enjoy the ride. Be friendly back and see where it goes.

>>17517437
it definitely really bothers me. but its been so long now that I'm worried if I bring it up he'll feel like I'm taking something away from him and resent me. the easiest way to fix it would be to talk about it I know, but I'm really just scared.

>>17517444
>I haven't seen him interact with any other females around for me to make any comparisons since we only interact around our mutual guy friends

ooh a keeper

>>17517454
Don't want to ask directly since the group of people had some unrelated drama and I don't want to accidentally start some shit again. I am being friendly back but I don't know what else to do that isn't obviously flirting.

>>17517460
It's because I know him through our mutual friends who are all guys. I know he has female friends but I don't know them in real life. I have seen him talk to some of my female friends before but I wasn't really paying attention at the time since I preoccupied.

>>17517422
I consider a girl my gf when we have the "what are we?" talk and we decide that we're going to date each other exclusively.

>>17517422
u can ask to be exclusive and see what happens

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>>17517429
can we go alil more in depth about this. Like I have alot of other cultures mixed into my family,white,latin,asian,islander and black.

In terms of gendar relations they seem similar on whats expected between the 2 and their kids. To me culture is merely x y z on the same thing.
Is it that the precised abuses are not going to be familiar territoriality or just new restrictions to abide by?

SInce technically those willing to date out arent 100% on the trad ions. Otherwise theyd marry/date their own.

Im very curious on your perspectives

>>17515646
Maybe, if there isn't sexual tension. If you aren't attracted to him that way, and he isn't to you in that way, I wouldn't worry.

I avoid talking to my female friends too much because of these kinds of awkward things. I don't want to even give a chance for those feelings to happen. My last relationship started out as us being platonic best friends, and taking the step forward was ill-advised. I leave the intimate conversations and cute jokes to their respective boyfriends.

>>17516170
Hormones, genes, instinct to procreate, etc.

The sense of emotional fulfillment and satisfaction that comes with having a partner also plays into this a bit. We need it, and it's one way to get it.

>>17515883
It's hot and exciting. It's like a taboo almost. Also I remember reading somewhere that pain and pleasure are connected in the brain somehow (wish I could give you sources dude but this is off the top of my head). It's like rough sex but even more rougher. Plus being spanked is pretty fun

>>17515883
get paid pupper

>>17515990
What are w talking about here? Either way I think it's not easy to deal with. Guys don't like crazy chicks and vice versa. Unless that person genuinely is empathic to your feelings

>>17516463
Ofc dude. 7.5 is a C which is passing. Still I'm not sure how you're rating yourself since everyone's scale is subjective. I mean I grade harshly but I'll take anyone 6 and above

>>17517641
Depression. When I'm having a good day I'm pretty normal, but when I'm feeling low I find it very hard to talk to people at all

Are dinners, a social event in town then another good things for first date?

To be more specifically, it will be a pretty cheap but comfy restaurant, a small music show and a food fest.

>>17517651
>7.5 is a C
it's a B, B+ you hoe

Guy here

Girls, if I'm making 30.5k a year at 21, would you consider dating me even though i'm not currently attending school? I know women don't want guys without ambition or resources, but i'm very self concious after dropping out.

I don't want girls to think I'm some burnout.

>>17517731
30.5k a year at 21 is good enough for most cashmongering whores I mean strong independent women.

>>17517736
but I'm a guy

>>17517731
Is that supposed to be an impressive amount? I'm guessing you think it is, given that you made a point to include the $500 in your figure. That doesn't sound like it's a job where you're going places anyway. I'd honestly rather date a guy who was working a wageslave job while studying.

>>17517767
That's pretty good at 21 in most countries I know of, especially my own

>>17517731
How do you make that much after dropping out of school ?

>>17517779
>That's pretty good at 21 in most countries I know of, especially my own
Given you didn't give a currency unit or mention where you're from, you really can't expect people to be impressed by that. Like I said, I'd rather date a guy who earned less but was working towards a better future

>>17517788
I'm >>17517779 and not >>17517731
I used the currency I was familiar with, euro
I don't know how it is in USA or another country, but here it's pretty good

I'm not a girl looking for money, so I can't answer him about that
If you don't have any ambition, you're not for me though

>>17517779
I found a job as a dental claims associate at an insurance company. i was lucky to get it.
>>17517767
I don't think it's a lot of money, I just want women to know i'm not working mcdonalds for the rest of my life.
>>17517788
If a guy told you that he was planning on going back to school, would that be a turnoff? I want to go back but i'm just not ready yet, maybe in a year or two.

>>17517731
>>17517779
What country are you from?
It's not the same in France and Latvia

>Got a new job.
>Meet a beautiful and funny girl.
>She's taken, but we become good friends.
>She breaks up with her BF, we start hanging out after work.
>Everytime I get home, she sends me texts such as "thanks for the night, I really needed it" or "thanks, I really love being around you".

Am I fucked?

>>17517816
France actually

>>17517824
Next time invite her to your place, if she says yes well you can pretty much guess where it goes from there.

>>17517829
I'm >>17517779 btw

>>17515747
Introverted quirky girls only go for variants of Chads, if anything. They always dream of prince charming like the ones in movies and books, not much care for actual personality there. Their low self-esteem won't let them date some guy other girls won't be jealous about. Even if you get them to date you somehow, they'll probably cheat on you.

Find a normal girl who likes normal people.

>>17517036
I'm middle Eastern. I think desis are cute.

>>17516205
That's because women have much easier access to sex when compared to men. Despite many of them denying it

>>17516255
I was in a abusive relationship. But I also got into a decent one. Not all women are cunts

>>17517824
She sounds like she wants you. Hang out and make a move, kiss her

Guys who are/have been in long distance relationships (>5 timezones away), how do you like to spend time with the other person? Do you have any tips to keep the relationship healthy?

>>17517967
>(>5 timezones away)
I don't think LDR is the right word for that
VLDR maybe ? Or maybe Longest Distance Relationship

I was in a LDR before, we were 3hrs by car away
We could see each other every 2 or 3 months and spend time together like if we were seeing each other every other day : walking around, cuddling, going to the movies and so on

>>17517967
>LDR

If it start as LDR and has stayed that way, it won't ever work.
If it started as IRL and being close to each other but is no LDR, it could possible work if you see each other sometimes or have plans to move close to the other at some point in the future.

Overall LDRs are pretty doomed though speaking from personal experience.

>>17517967
Not to be that guy, but

>LDR
>healthy

these things are contradictory. humans aren't meant to have these kinds of relationships.

>>17517977
I meant how to spend time together in the distance.

We have been in a LDR for half a year, but we were in the same timezone so we were awake at the same time and we managed to meet once a month, and we've just spent a month together while we were on holidays.

Now he's sleeping when I wake up and I go to sleep before he's even had dinner, I want tips on how to deal with that.

>>17517980
It started as a LDR, distance itself is not a problem for me, we obviously don't get to be together in person that often but I can deal with that. Like I said I want tips on how to deal with the time difference and ideas on things we can do together.

>>17517950
It's easy access to an unattractive guy. Which is basically equal to when you have easy access to past date rotten food. Would you eat it, despite being a bit hungry? Nope. You will most likely wait for some nice food you actually want to eat, and feel too repulsed to eat the rotten food, and maybe rather die than to eat it.

Anyway that's how women view men they label as a creep. And I'm sure men have the same feeling with certain women. Most guys I know have standards too, despite many men claiming they are 'already happy with something'.

>>17516463
An 8 would have been better, but I guess I'll take it, because that other thing you mention is a huge plus.

>>17517967
I played online games a lot, having a shared activity is helpful.

>>17517422
>At guys: literally when do you consider a girl your girlfriend.
Roughly when we decide to be exclusive, I guess. I don't like ambiguity. You guys don't seem to be even trying to move towards that point, so I'd think about moving on if you want something serious.

>>17518038
Can you suggest any games?

>>17518041
MMOs, coop games, stuff like that. Warcraft worked with me because it was something we had both been playing for a significant period before we ever met, later started playing Ultima Online.

>>17518043
Well... I'm not into that at all, but thanks for the suggestions.

Ladies,

I'm a guy working as an intern a big (~2000 employees in my site), and there is a girl a I find really, really attractive there. The problem is, I have never met her, talked to her or whatever, I barely know her name from a coworker.
I know the whole "don't shit where you eat", but I'm leaving in a month and won't return here ever. From what I know, she also works in another field, well you get the point. I only happen to see her maybe once a day when in the hallways taking a break. She's almost always with coworkers at these moments.
My question is : how can I make understand the "I want to meet you' thing? Should I go straight to her or what?
I know that flirting at work is not OK, I'm just trying to establish contact, but I have really no idea how to do that. Any clues?

>>17518095
as an intern in a big company *

I can't even read myself properly

Ladies

Do I tell my GF that I struggle with depression? How long do I wait to tell her?
I know this dries up the pussy instantly. I feel like I shouldn't even mention it.

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>>17518049
Your loss

>>17518104
>I know this dries up the pussy instantly.
Depends on the girl

>>17518104
How long have you been dating? I never told my previous partner about my depression and basically destroyed one of otherwise best relationships I ever had myself.

>>17518104
I wouldn't, she will use it against you when she is mad and think you are less 'interesting'.

>>17515517
question for girls:

is there a remote possibility to have a romance with a friend so close that you consider a brother?

>>17515517
Girls:
Is it okay to get to know a person as a friend first before making it clear you're romantically/sexually interested in them, or should I make it clear from the beginning?

>>17517422
I'm in the same exact situation. I've been having sex for this girl for 2 years and I still go out with other girls and insist, while talking to her, that we are not a couple.

The reason is simple, she has a great body, she's polite and decent, but she isn't very good looking and doesn't have the characteristics I like in a girl.

It may sound harsh, but I use her to empty my balls regularly. If a guy does that you've been "friendwithbenefit-zoned".

And yes, I sometimes feel guilty because it's blatant that she likes me and does this because it's the only way she can stay with me.

If you're in her same situation, get away from the guy. I think I'm hurting her badly.

>>17518194
Not a girl but I find that starting with friendly small talk is the best way to get friendzoned.

Playful flirt from square 1, that's how I got all of my gfs.

>>17518192
Is she has said she considers you a brother, then absolutely not.

How do you deal with the fact that your girlfriend has fucked someone before you (and you haven't) - and regardless that the chump that fucked her pressured and guilted her into it he probably holds a special place in her heart because he was her first and you are nothing special?

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>>17518192
>friend so close that you consider a brother
Well I have a huge crush on my brother so this would be quite ideal for me, but I don't think other girls are like me though.

>>17518198
How do you feel comfortable with flirting if you don't know her first ?

>>17518202
There's no need to deal with that because it shouldn't be a problem
You are her boyfriend, you are someone special to her

>>17518202
well I try to put myself into the perspective of the next girl I date.

>>17518192
Heck no. Even with the handsome bro friend I have that would be awkward.

>>17518211
Because she flirts back. Flirting doesn't have to be obvious, just smile a lot, make dumb jokes, tease her. Don't make your focus on her, but rather whatever it is that you're doing together. It's a lot easier with this mindset.

>>17518201
yeah, and when we jokingly flirt she goes "eww" and does exaggerated things like the "I'm gonna barf" or the "I'm shooting myself in the head" gestures

>>17518203
I'm afraid yours is an incest fetish and not really related to my situation

>>17518202
It sounds more like your projecting your own insecurities into the situation. I can almost guarantee you that some guy that pressured and guilted her holds absolutely no special place in her heart at all.

>>17518225
what if he had a big penis, was incredibly good at sex, and was able to make her come and I'm not?

>>17518202
Grow up. I wasn't that naggy about my first not being a virgin anymore like I was, either. You are still special to her.

European girls

What do you think of circumcised men? I saw on /int/ that apperently must of Europe is uncut. so, would you ever have sex with a guy who is cut?

>>17518227
You are definitely insecure.
Just grow up

>>17518231
Most girls don't care

>>17518232
I wasn't him, just a similar situation

Comparisons are inevitable though, i don't want her to think she shouldn't have left the last guy

>>17518223
Because she's trying to make an awkward situation slightly more bearable by making a joke of it.

>>17518232
Not me but whatever.
>>17518225
Yeah but people always remember their firsts, right? There must be some part of her that for some weird psychological reason still thinks about him.

>>17518231
does it make any difference once the penis is erected?

>>17518236
>Yeah but people always remember their firsts, right? There must be some part of her that for some weird psychological reason still thinks about him.
She will probably never forget him but it doesn't mean she'll still have feeling for him

>>17518227
then congratulation you are the father of his kid.

>>17518234
Treat her right and she wont

>>17518238
No difference

>>17518231
I wouldn't really think too much of it. (West-European girl here)

>>17518235
and once she gets single (because she will, considering that her boyfriend is a retard) couldn't awkwardness turn into a possible romantic interest?

>>17518236
>people always remember their firsts
I'm a guy and my first time was really sweet. But my current gf is who I'm happy with.I wish I have both of them though. In fact I keep an extensive collection of photos and videos of exes

>>17518249
It's possible but I wouldn't count on it

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I've (I'm a guy) been to a double date with a girl and it went quite strange ... we were having good time outside in the park playing sports and all but girl was sad and shy the whole time, i saw her smile maybe once or twice that day. And i thought to myself that she wasn't interested in me at all.

Later we went to our homes and i got her to her home, asked her if i can see her again to which she replied "Maybe, i need to think"
Her friend later told me that she is usually shy and sad.

My question is to girls: So was i politely refused, or im ovethinking it? do girls usually do that kind of stuff?

I really liked her and i want to met her again, but being quite shy myself i didn't ask for her number straight away amd i don't want to be clingy

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>>17515517
Should i break up with my girlfriend because she
has been talking to other guys? I saw on her instagram
that guys have been messaging her and she replies.
I didnt see the messages but when she opened the app and went to messages i scanned and saw guys on there. She claimed to never talk to other guys and when i confronted her she claimed they messaged her.

>>17518236
People do remember their first, but that doesn't mean they're positive memories. It's not a weird psychological puzzle, more like when you remember the first time you broke a bone. It's a memory you recall that has no emotional significance to your current life.

>>17518253
same here

I sometimes even fap to them

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>>17518258
She is probably sad that Tyrone is in jail right now and can't dp her so she had to put up with your nonsense.

But seriously if she is shy you need to let her get used to you. Once she opens up to you then you may be able to find out more and she may express her emotions more openly.

>>17518259
trust your gf m8
also dump her.

>>17518249
I personally think you'd have to be in a relationship with a chick BEFORE you start implying any sort of fantasy insestuous relationships. I really don't think anyone would catch onto that from just a close friend.

>>17518258
She's probably just shy and has her own issues going on

>>17518258
>sad
for what reason oh my god the suspension is killing me
did she cry ? did she sigh ? if not she's probably just disinterested in the date

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For the guys: I'm in a LDR with a guy, and mostly it's me sending messages, and pretty much always me asking to skype. One time he mentioned I'm like a cat, because I crave attention all the time.

Is this a bad thing? I admit that it really annoys me how little attention he gives me at times, but I don't wanna be overly clingy either. I get that he's busy, but I kind of long back to the time where he was the one interested in me and wanting my attention.. How can I kick that desire back in him?

>>17518259
Hold the presses she spoke to OTHER MEN!
I guess you have to consider your personal circumstances, do you talk to other girls? If no, then I think it's reasonable to hold her to the same standard that she don't talk to other men. If you do talk to other girls, then I don't think you can expect a higher standard from her.

>>17518285
>LDR
>mostly it's me sending messages
Most likely he is hard for another girl. Sorry.

>>17518287
to be fair these are not just men, they are men who showed sexual interest in her

>>17518290
He wants me to come live with him in his country, though. So he seems pretty serious in general. I think it's more of an 'already have the treasure in, don't need to do effort anymore' type of behavior.

another Italian QT just said she wants to meet me next month during my trip. Should I?

>>17518297
right, what do I know about your guy

>>17518299
what trip ?

>>17518299
>>17518301

dammit I posted in the wrong board/thread.

Well anyways, I'm going on vacation in Italy. And a Italian girls from Interpals.net asked if I'd like to meet IRL

>>17518292
I still think, if you talk to other girls, you can't expect a higher standard from her. How do you know they show sexual interest in her? In your original post you said you only scanned the messages.

If you really think your girl would be so vapid and crumble at the first whim of some other males attention then why are you dating her in the first place?

>>17518300
I guess the general point of my question is more like: What can motivate a guy to crave attention from his gf, the way he did before he got her? Or something among those lines.

>>17518271
what does incest have anything to do with this? She's so much of a close friend that she considers me her "big brother", since I'm a bit older, but we aren't related whatsoever

>>17518306
I use interpals too, but from the opposite side of the barricade, I'm in Italy and I look for tourists

What a coincidence

What city are you going to visit?

Girl I like talks to me a lot in person but never initiates conversations via text/chat. When she does reply, it takes hours. Is she not interested in me or am I over thinking it?

>>17518372

im flying into Venezia. and I plan on going around the Veneto region. So- Venezia, Vicenza, Lake Garda, Treviso, and maybe Padua.

Yo you should come chill with us in the Interpals threads in /int/

>>>/int/64220823

>>17518378
she cant text holding a cock in each hand

Girls and guys

How do you cope with the first few weeks of a temporary LDR?
My fiance moved abroad for his job and will be gone for at least one year. He left a few days ago and I miss him so much I've barely been able to eat ever since he left. I know I should just go out and do some activities to stop dwelling on it but I can't seem to find the energy to do so. Doesn't help that I barely have any friends to meet up with or talk to.

>>17518384
You're gonna visit a really nice place

Thanks for the invite, I didn't know they had a thread there.

I'm only in there for the cute foreign girls though, Italian girls are so boring, at least for someone who has seen them for his whole life

>>17518231
>would you ever have sex with a guy who is cut?
If I like him, sure, but prefer uncut (another Western Euro girl)

>>17518393

>I'm only in there for the cute foreign girls though, Italian girls are so boring, at least for someone who has seen them for his whole lide

What a coincidence. I hate American women. so I am trying to meet them overseas. Infact, that's literally the whole point of the /Cultural Pals/ threads in /int/ to meet foreign QTs

>>17518394

interesting. Just curious, what is it that you like about uncut over cut?

Girls

when you text guy friends, do you ever "send them a hug" or before you go to bed literally say "a big hug!"?

This girl I talk to does that a lot, but I don't know if that's just normal or not

>>17518314
Start ignoring him and go out there to find yourself.

Yes, I just told you to ignore him and go be a slut

>>17518384
kek that thread is hilarious

>>17518402
I like them better physically.
Apart from that I'm against genital mutilation of any sort, especially on babies/children, be it for religious reasons or aesthetics or whatever (treating phimosis and other health related issues is an exception).

What's your opinion on this?

>>17518398
sign me in then, mate

Can't you, like, bring over here some cute american girl? Then I bring some Italian girl and we make an exchange. I wanted to visit Venezia too anyway, I live pretty close to it.

M here

So in one of the uni classes I had yesterday, after the class started and the professor took role, I noticed that a girl I knew was in the class sitting in the opposite corner of the room (we're not close friends, but we worked together briefly last year, I've gone to parties where she was present, she acts friendly to me and we have each other on Facebook). I'm sure she noticed me too because I spoke up to answer a question and the prof. said my name for attendance.

She's pretty cute and I want to get to know her better, so I was planning to say hi to her after that class and make small talk but I didn't get a chance.

I have the class again tomorrow, would it be strange if I sat next to her/near her and used that as my greeting opportunity since I missed my chance yesterday?

>>17518425

Dude American women are the worst. You don't want them lol

>>17518428
In what aspect?

>>17518428
As long as they can teach me to speak English decently, and are not the same old boring Italian girls I've seen for my whole life, they can do.

But yes, I admit I'm more into asians.

>>17518432

celebrities are so popular and sought after here that girls set them as standards. Every girl wants her Zack Effron. they are also very materialistic. Where I live, girls don't really pay much attention to you unless you have a degree, good paying job and a good car. Plus, they are all brainwashed by the Disney Channel so they all want to be treated like a princess.

>>17518442
And you think it's different abroad?

>>17518422

Well I'm a cut male. so I don't know what it's like to be uncut. I've just seen on the internet that Europeans are mostly uncut. So I just wondered what girls that are used to uncut thought about cut

>>17518445

Yes..

>>17518407
Personally no, but some females are just very friendly like that.How old is she?

>>17518459

22

>>17518231
It wouldn't stop me from having sex with him, but it would be a minor disappointment.

>>17518442
That's incredibly generalizing. You honestly think all american women are brainwashed by the disney channel?

>>17518490

The thing is it's subtle. young girls watch Disney channel. They don't realize it, but they are learning things subconsciously. and it effect their mindset later in life.

Disney portrays women as princesses. And that every guy is suppose to be a knight in shining armor and go through hell and back just to make the princess happy.

>>17518494
We also have Disney Channel abroad.

>>17518494
To be fair, if the princess is expected to carry, birth and raise your spawn some day, it's the least you can do.

>>17518494
So what do you reckon porn does to men?

>>17518502

honestly not much. well, at least when I was younger most of us didn't start actually looking at porn until the late teens. When the brain is mostly developed. So by then we already know what's going on.

Most girls who watch Disney Channel are young young young. So they get caught up in it while their brain is absorbing all material around them.

>>17518282
Well, sad might not be the right word for it, more like she was thoughtful about something
Yeah, but i get the same feeling as you do, she wasn't interested

>>17518514
Don't know how old you are, but for my age peers (early twenties now) it was more like twelve, and nowadays it's estimated that the average guy is eight when he first sees porn.

>>17518490
Not him but in my 4chan experience american girls are really entitled in comparison to the others. Americans in general are very hellbent, this affects dating.

>>17518527

I'm 26

>average guy is eight when he first sees porn.

But yeah, I don't doubt that at all with every kid having a cell phone and high speed internet access in today's world

So my boyfriend of two years just asked me to leave his place where I've been living with him and his dad for 8 months. Context: I was abused for years by my step dad and only this year put him behind bars. Boyfriend says that since the trial it has all been too much for him and needs time and space away from it all to think about what he really wants.
So my question to you guys is: is he just gonna break up with me? Or will the space help him to overcome his problems and this can still work out?

>>17518552

that's hard to tell. it is possible that he really just needs space. but it could also mean he's fed up and done.

it's too hard to judge from how you explained

>>17518559
Well the last few days I was there if I went near him he pulled away from me, the last time telling me he was claustrophobic. The morning I left he was in floods of tears, I asked him do you still want me to leave? He said no but if you stay I know that I will.

>>17518568

Has the whole thing with your stepdad and the trial actually been stressing him out?

>>17518552
You know when the old gramma/gramps die after within days/weeks after gramps/gramma or the dog waits for the owner to die so he can pass away?

I think that happened on a different level.

>>17518571
Well since the trial his mood has taken a nose dive. He didn't really mention it much other than the night he told me to leave. He said the whole thing has changed how he sees the world that it has traumatised him and he thinks about it all the time.

He also tried to say that living there wasn't good for me. Because I'm still trying to recover from it all myself and when he's down I get down too.

>>17518552
Take this lightly, but this sometimes means that he just waited for you to get your shit together and get rid of your criminal stepdad.

I've lived a similar situation, with A coping with B until B solved her issues, and once things got better A dumped B because he didn't felt love for her anymore but still cared for her enough to not to dump her while she was in the middle of the storm.

Just be grateful to him for what he's done and let go.


Or maybe he just needs a bit of space to make his mind, who knows.

>>17518574
Please explain?

>>17518583

maybe it would be good if you all took a break. Maybe go take a holiday for a week or two. don't talk during that time just so your brains can reset. Then if he hasn't already, reach out to him.

maybe communicate to him that. Say that you're going to go away for a week or so. and that you'll come back to him

>>17518590
I've made a point of not contacting him first and last night he texted to see if I was doing alright and to tell me he's only a phone call away

>>17518585
Yeah I would understand that and I am very grateful believe me. It's the being in limbo that's the worst because I don't know if I can move on or to wait until he tells me what he wants. I asked him if it was over he said he didn't know.

>>17518589
I'm having a mental block so no other examples.

When you go through though things with someone you are able to endure more than you actually can and when it's over you get burned out.

The dog should've been dead for a year but it hang on for more than it could because the owner needed it.
Gramma exceeded her life time because gampa needed her love.

Fuck, there are better examples in my head but i can't access them right now.

>>17518606
Yeah I think I get you now.
It's just so sudden and so hard. A few months ago we were talking about getting married and having sprogs and all that.
He said to me the night he asked me to leave that he meant everything he ever said to me that he did genuinely want that at that time but now he doesn't know what he wants.

>>17518616
You are an stranger on the internet but it seems to me that he meant it. It's just that we don't know the future and in though times things change at light speed.

I wouldn't get my hopes high but i wouldn't get mad at him, if what i think is true; kicking someone out is not good but confusion is a hell of drug.

He did something wrong but also something great; the judgment of this situation is up to you.

>>17518630
Thinking about it I'm not mad at him at all, just sad that all this has happened and missing him terribly.
I was just hoping for some male perspective on it but looks like it's the same as mine! Leave him to it and wait and see.
Thanks guys.

>>17518642
Good luck, be seeing you.