depression/anxiety/loneliness

>>17512713
you're not "virtually" alone, you're really alone

>"A mother takes loans out, sends her kids off to colleges; her family is reduced to names on a shopping list, while a coroner kneels beneath a great wooden crucifix... he knows there's worse things than being alone..."


I think it means you shouldn't seek validation for your existence from other people, rather, you should find it for yourself... after all, there are far worse things than being alone. Don't let yourself wallow in self-pity.

>>17512742
What is that quote from?

>Don't let yourself wallow in self pity
I'm not sure what you mean by that. Is that like saying, "Snap out of it"? I don't have pity for myself. I'm the one responsible. We're all responsible for ourselves.

>>17512767
Oh I thought you were saying you were having depressive/suicidal thoughts, I must have taken it the wrong way then.

>>17512713
When did you break it off?

>>17512802
Depression/anxiety =/= self pity. I can hold myself accountable for my part in things and still say, "Life seems to suck for everyone. I'm scared all of the time." When someone gets stuck in that, it's generally regarded brain problem. It doesn't have to involve self-pity.

>>17512805
Maybe a month ago.

>>17512820
Well, I've been alone very recently too. Do you feel anxious when you think about it? And could you explain what kind of thoughts you have been having?

>>17512831
Yeah. I guess some people can go alone for a while, even enjoy it, because they aren't scared of not making it back to people.

>>17512849
I can go some time alone too, but in my situation it's something else. But what thoughts have you been having?

>>17512820
if you are depressed, it is a form of self-pity. If you didn't have any self-pity, you wouldn't be depressed. They are closely related. It's semantics really.

When you get into a positive feedback loop, you repeat thoughts that bring you down until your sadness becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you recognize that what you're feeling is natural, and you find a way to vent it properly as human beings are supposed to do, you will find that it passes and doesn't become depressive. But if you have an extreme amount of self-pity, you regurgitate it until you have a big problem (depression). Self-pity is the result of low self-esteem.

I'm not fucking with you or trying to insult you. It's just time that we stop beating around the bush.

>>17512713
thats so vague af it sounds like you just want a friend to tell you everything is going to be ok. OP EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY :D

>>17512882
ok so what I got from that is
>find a way to vent it properly
what do you suggest?

>>17512861
The ones I referred to? Just the kind of stuff you get arrested for, and I know it's whacky, so I just keep going like it's all normal.

>>17512887
is this /adv/ or /opi/?

>>17512908

I assume the thoughts are violent ?

>>17512924
one would assume that

>>17512908
>what do you suggest?

I suggest that you figure it out before you try to start any new relationships. Learn what makes you tick. Learn what you value and why and how to prioritize it all.

If you want specifics, I'd say make it a habit to go for long drives. Maybe spend some time at a park, in nature. Go jogging... etc.

When I feel like you do, I go fire a gun. It makes me realize how valuable life is, and how much responsibility I have as a human being to value humanity and compassion. If I didn't do it, I'd probably be even more of a cold piece of shit than I already am.

>>17512931

But am I correct?

I think having attractive female friends who won't date me and seem to see me as a wounded animal just makes me feel like shit and incredibly lonely. Everyone I know is in and out of relationships and hook ups and I got dumped 2 months ago and havent been on a single date or banged a girl since then.I got upset about it one time and one of my female friends just out of nowhere told me I was a great guy and if she was single and blah blah blah I have a feeling every guy has heard that one before.

I think my group of friends being a good portion female and all of them telling me I'm great and fine the way I am kind of keeps me demotivated from bettering myself. I think I need a support group of guys who will tell me what I need to hear and not what they think I want to hear and I think my female friends might be telling me I'm fine the way I am maliciously to keep me from progressing as a person because I'm pretty innocuous the way I am.

>>17513043
I feel you. I only accept specific complements, not general ones like, "You're awesome!" Of course, I don't give hollow-ass compliments either. Maybe it's a nurturing thing females do, or they just feel the need to fill the air with something positive in response to your issue, since they are more socially-minded.

Sometimes a female's choice is to make you feel better about the situation, whereas a guy's choice is to do something about it. Now if you're dealing with a business woman, female doctor, or something then it is different.

Things have been going pretty hard for me lately too. I'm having a tough time getting through each day and everything feels much more challenging than before. I'm afraid to contact anyone to talk to about this, because I'm afraid they just don't want to hear it. I have goals but they seem so far away from me right now and I can feel myself bending underneath all of the pressure. My self doubt has rendered everyday feeling like a void that I am stuck wandering around aimlessly. I was mislead into pursuing something under false pretenses by people that I had trusted. Yet, I am most frustrated with myself for not having the courage to stand up for what I wanted, the life I want to be living. I don't want to defer from OP but I could really benefit from advice from someone that has experience battling adversity.

>>17513051
>business woman, female doctor

Yeah but I think that pure nurturing shit goes out the window especially with a female doctor. They kind of have to tell you to do something about it instead of telling you everything will be all right. That alone shows the nurturing "you're such a nice guy" thing is a load of bullshit.m I think most men would rather be given something to do that would benefit them than have their spirits lifted with hollow words.

I really do think I need to ditch my female friends or keep them at an arms length. They aren't helpful when it comes to dealing with nearly anything. If they want me to feel better about getting dumped and feeling like crap they could introduce me to their female friends and maybe we hit it off or offer to take me out and help me meet women if that's what's bothering me. But no they just throw empty words at me and think they are doing something good when they aren't.

A group of friends is supposed to have your best interests in mind. I remember one of my friends stopped going to his therapist and started his usual moping about his ex so our mutual friend grabbed him and drove him to his therapist meeting every day. I guess expecting that level of loyalty is too much but something more than empty words on 2 separate occasions.

>>17513135
Maybe that was the most they felt comfortable doing or knew how to do. You know, I wouldn't mind someone introducing me to dates like that. It's certainly worth something.

It is good to know someone actually gives a damn though. Driving someone to a therapist is a sign you're really interested and care.

It would be good to have either of those things, honestly. I might learn a skill or something to be more interesting and someone people give a fuck about. Music is an interest of mine.

I know what you mean about that "nice guy" thing. These days there are so many people that being relatively fit, smart, and friendly is just summed up as "nice guy." That's not just hollow; it's almost an insult. I swear by the end of this whole attempt at socializing ordeal I might become a real character just to get by.

>>17513061
What is it you're doing that you felt mislead into? What would you rather be doing?