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I met the girl when I was 18, we moved in together when we were 19, got married when we were 21. I had a good job, she didn't work for all these years and we could still afford pretty much everything we wanted (nice rental apartment, a car, abroad holiday every now and then). We were really happy, a couple all the other couples look up to.
When I was 26 I realized that we're not spending enough time together because of my work (i used to work about 250h/month back then). I decided to quit the job and look for something closer to home, with less working hours and less responsibilities on my shoulders. Of course, that came along with a worse pay.
It wasn’t a massive paycut, we could still afford everyday stuff, pay our taxes, go on a countryside trip, and I arranged our 5th wedding anniversary in a beautiful old manor. I was happier than ever before.
Few months later on 5th January 2016 we were sitting home, had a few drinks, and she suddenly burst into tears, telling me that on the other day she got drunk and slept with someone else. Older, rich, married guy, my mum’s colleague. It was fucking hard, but I decided that our relationship is worth more than a one night drunken mistake and I forgave her.
Two weeks later I discovered that it wasn’t a one night thing, it was a regular affair, lasting for months, and that she still meets the guy. I was heartbroken.
It’s the worst kind of breakup, you feel worthless, like a little piece of shit and you have to leave somebody you still love.
And then, it got worse.
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We live in a country where you need a visa to travel to United States. Her sister lives there, started with temporary worker visa and stayed illegally afterwards. She wanted to join her, so she called me to ask if I could wait with filing the divorce papers before she got her tourist visa (it’s much easier to get one when your husband is staying in the country), promising me that she will wait until we’re divorced before her travel. Of course I agreed. Of course she didn’t wait.
She also blackmailed the guy she had an affair with to get the money for the plane and her first months in States. Right now she lives somewhere in NY. I still miss her sometimes, can’t divorce her (because the court isn’t capable of delivering papers to her), she has a new phone number, her parents said that it was her decision and they will not help me. I can’t even get a visa just to get a look of her face when she sees me standing in the middle of god-damn Times Square holding the divorce papers in my hand, because my wife lives in USA illegally.
Any ideas what could I to do close the chapter and leave it all behind me?
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>>17511204
ayy thats fucked up anon
best of luck to you
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>>17511198
Dude that fucking sucks. I'm sorry.
There's no way around it. You made the right decision, give it time, focus on improving yourself, and it'll get better :\
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>>17511204
Is there anything you can do in your country? I mean, it stands to reason that if your spouse abandons you and leaves with no contact that you have some kind of legal recourse to have the marriage annulled at some point.
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>>17511198
Lawyer up, get proof against her and make sure to back up the evidence
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>>17511257
It's not that easy. In Poland (that's where I live) the court has to deliver information about the divorce to the spouse's own hands (she must sign the delivery note). She won't give me the address (because she's probably afraid that I will try to get a revenge and send some kind of immigration office to her apartment), so I'm pretty much stuck.
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>>17511303
Report her to immigration and hope they get her back to polan.
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>>17511307
Maybe if you state that she is an ilegal immigrant you can say that she doesn't have an official address or something. Maybe you can use this to your advantage, i would talk to a lawyer.
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>>17511313
I had some chats with some pretty good divorce-lawyers. It's a hands tied case.
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>>17511340
Report her to immigration anyway, fuck that bitch.
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>>17511257
Isn't it like when one person does not respond to divorce court papers then the whole case is led without this person's participation?
I heard a story of wife stealing and hiding the divorce papers from home mailbox just to divorce her husband without his knowledge and steal away all the kids.
Beside law & paper things, this was a bad exp but once you're burned you may not be such a sucker for the rest of your life. I went through similar shit but thankfully just before marriage.
Never getting married, never going into relationship, never trusting any whore again. You just can't see through them and even when you think she seems closest friend, a soulmate, or even a family - she'll mindlessly choke on any dick if you just give her enough time and space.
They say men are polygamist whores, but when a man loves, he loves firmly and truly like dog loves his owner. No woman is capable of the same kind of devotion, they only repeat what they see in Hollywood romance shit and drop the role once they get bored of it ready for fresh "experiences".
Even when I see happy, perfect couples now, like my friends, I know their innocent loving wife's would fuck on side any given chance, If they haven't done it already.
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>>17511344
Ok, but how does that work? I could send a few e-mails with photos, but I just can't imagine immigration office workers running around NY looking for her.
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>>17511364
No, but they would have info on her so if she gets in trouble they'll know who she is and send her back.
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