Ex-Girlfriend question

>>17510441
every man has had this happen to them. things fine, they meet a guy, all the blood rushes to their pussy and they drop the bf to chase the other guy. Then when they have the new guy doubt creeps in they may have been a bit rash but how do they get the old bf back and he feel the winner. Oh boy. First, she has fucked the guy, otherwise there was no point and two, she sure didn't consider your feelings when she dumped you for a guy she met over a weekend. Don't take her back.

It's either she just wanted to pursue the fling (she probably got dumped/rejected/discarded by the other guy) OR your friend was telling the truth that your ex regrets it.

Maybe you can tell your ex (if the conversation comes up about getting back together) that you want to get back BUT that she has to honestly tell you what went on with her and the guy. Tell her (if she makes excuses saying instincts again) that love should have mattered more than her 'primal' instincts and believe there was more to it.

Maybe that'll get your answer anon.

>I couldn't get that guy out of my head
>i still like you though!

Fuck that slut, you did the right thing op.
Even if she didnt touch that guy, imagine what will happen when the next chad comes about?

>>17510441
so I had an ex see one of my friends who interceded on her behalf to see if I would consider taking her back after she left to be with a guy at work she knew for two weeks. Like, no and fuck no. She chose another man she knew for two weeks (things were not equal since we had been in a relationship for two years and knew each other for 5). Here is the kicker. She was already pregnant with the guys kid and she told my friend she knew that would likely be the reason I wouldn't consider taking her back. Bitch had a very high opinion of herself and a low opinion of me.

>>17510460
This is the most flexible I would be. I would also want to see text proof or something if I were you.

But let me ask you this, can you ever trust her again? Maybe if she proves nothing happen and she backed out you can. But consider you may always remember this. Can you respect yourself if you take her back?

>>17510460
To be honest, even if nothing happened between them, which I am going to assume hasn't, I am not so sure about how will I take her back, I love this girl but she has hurt me, we broke up because of a random Casanova who by the way had sent me a fucking friend request on facebook 1 month prior and I know the little shit and his fame. I think if I ever took her back I'd live with the fear and insecurity of this happening ever again.

>>17510491
That's exactly what I am thinking about.

As my close friend said all those things about her and said "It's not to late for things to be fixed, she is regretting it before it happened", I told her that the thing is: I am not so sure if I want to fix things. While in a way fixing things is a quick and easy way out, that would lead to sex and some temporary comfort, I think that in the long run this is probably the best thing that could've happened.

IF and only if I took her back, I think I'd always be suspicious of everything, would become paranoid about every little thing and she'd know that I would forgive her if something happened again. I feel like the most rational decision I can do is to keep fighting this, avoid her, keep her out of my reach and hope that I can find someone who can make me understand that she isn't the only person on earth that could make me happy, thing is, I've tried, I've been with other girls and so far there's only one I was able to love, so this shit sucks.

>>17510558
it would happen again. you'll hear in a week or two or three they have been fucking. Like I said there was no point in ending the relationship with you just to have coffee dates with him. Women get crushes (random Casanova, perfect) and burn with desire for the crush and will do most anything including ending a long term relationship with a good guy to scratch the itch. It's happened to us all and unfortunately not just once.

>>17510579
be strong OP. Your rational mind is functioning correctly. All it took was a weekend away and this girl ditched all the plans. Not wife, partner and mother material for you. Next time one of her friends comes round with some info just tell them to keep it to themselves. I did it and it works great. I couldn't have an emotional response to something I didn't know.

>>17510616
Yeah she said she regretted telling me those things instantly, she knows I must move on with my life. She's in a rough spot as well, even more so because I think she has always liked me (romantically speaking).

If you get back with her your cuck certificate comes for free.

>>17510822
I know. Even though I still want to believe she would have no need to lie to her friend about what's going on seeing as she always tells her everything and is pretty much the most upfront and cold person I know when it comes to the truth, a part of me feels that something has probably happened between the two of them.

Another part of me believes nothing has happened and that what's going on is that she realized what she did as soon as she did it, I mean, apparently she was going to her friends house the next day we broke up crying about all of this, so it could be that she regretted it instantly.

Either way and whatever the case, she fucked up badly, I was hurt and I've been mending for 1 month and wasn't doing very badly at it either, but things are getting harder as anyone who has gone through a breakup possibly understands

>>17510441
She wanted his d and she didn't have the self control to be mature and stay with you. Shes using you as a fall back.

If you're happy with that and the fact that this will probably happen again, then have stick with her.

>>17511046
I realize this, I understand that when she said she still loved me and I was the man she still wanted to marry even though she was leaving to pursue her instinct she was trying to string me along and have me as a safety net.

That's exactly why I honestly kinda hoped that whatever her decision that she stuck with it and that it made her happy, so that I could move on peacefully. I think she understands my position as well as she keeps saying to her friend that she wants me to move on with my life, that it's not fair that after she screwed up so badly she'd hope that I'd accept her back into my life.

I just want to get over her to be honest.

>>17511082
And that's why I think she is always crying about this to her friends, she already cried in front of me and said it was because of the following reason:

She basically knows that doing this was the last nail in the coffin where our relationship lies, that even if she regrets what she did, even if she did nothing with him, the simple act of breaking up because of this situation ends all my hope and trust in her.

>>17511082
Then don't let her be part of your life. Theres no quick fix to your feelings, but if you get back with her, she will do this again, or something else of the sort, because she obviously either doesn't have the maturity/self control to act rationally, or just doesn't care/respect you enough to do the right thing.

>>17511110
I know man, it's what I've been saying, rationally I know it'd be stupid as fuck to go back and expect different results.

I just wanted some non-biased replies to see if I was missing the bigger picture. Seems like I am not.

>>17511125
Best of luck m8, you'll get over her

>>17511148
Thanks, it's been 4 years and she always finds a way to get back into my life so let's hope this time I beat her to it.

On my first year of uni we started having something, not a serious relationship as we had now, it eventually ended and I wanted to get over her, got with other girls and I'd always end up not being satisfied, comparing them to her without meaning to.

Ended up having her begging for me on our 4th year of uni, I initially didn't think it was the right thing to do but ended up falling for it and pretty much had the time of my life during 1 year. Now this shit happens again.

I only hope she doesn't find a way back into my life again, basically most of our friends are common friends so that sucks.

>>17511125
>rationally I know it'd be stupid as fuck to go back and expect different results.

Maybe, maybe not. The thing about kids is that they're still figuring shit out. She may have thought that having a crush on another guy was a sign that she wasn't ready for a serious relationship and that she wanted to be free to pursue other people as she wanted, only to realize that this was a huge mistake.

So yeah, this might happen again, or it might not because she's realized something about what she wants and how she wants to behave.

It's sort of like the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" -- while I think this is a reasonable adage, really it's the SECOND time cheating that I think really defines someone as having developed a habit of being a shit person.

If it were me, it would be about my willingness to forgive and try to trust her again. That you're characterizing the idea of trying again with her as leading her to believe that if you're willing to forgive that she's going to think "I can get away with anything" suggests that you're not going to be able to trust her.

For what it's worth, when I was younger, I made the decision that it was useless to try to have a serious relationship with anyone who hadn't been self-supporting for at least two years. It's just not worth taking them seriously because they don't know who they are and aren't used to taking responsibility for themselves.

>>17511287
That's probably the reason why I am still clinging to her, a small part of me wants her to crawl, to say sorry, to cry for me, to tell me that nothing happened between them, that she realized instantly that she fucked up and that now she knows what she wants and that someone is me.

A small part of me wants that and it still hopes that, all the things she said she felt and feels about me turn into something tangible. But it's unhealthy to cling onto that, and even if she did all of the things I stated above I am not so sure if I'd be able to forgive or forget. It's a messed up situation, we had awesome chemistry and she was way more intense in the relationship than I was, to the point where she was the one pushing for a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, bringing up the topic of babies, and even asking for us to buy 2 commitment rings, as well as telling her mother and father in front of me that she'd marry me a couple hundred of times.

I was pretty chill about the whole relationship, things were going smoothly and suddenly shit hits the fan out of the blue, it hurts, I guess I am just venting at the moment..

>>17511316
If you're not willing to talk to her and see what's up because you're not willing to get back together with her, then yeah, it's pointless to dwell on it.

>>17511428
I feel like she has to be the one talking to me, I have not much left to say. I won't crawl for her.

I never said I wasn't willing to get back with her, that's part of the reason why I created this thread, I am capable of forgiving to a certain extent. If something has happened between her and the other guy that is it for me, off she goes.

I'd only consider taking her back if nothing has happened between them, that she regretted it as soon as we broke up, and to be honest she'd have to walk some extra miles for me to allow her back into my life.

I'd let her know she'd have to fight for my trust again and whatnot. But then again, this is merely hypothetical, even if it happened I am not sure how flexible I'd be now.

>>17511506
Well, you know she's sitting there thinking that she fucked up and that you're better off without her and it would be better if you moved on.

So it's not likely that she's going to "crawl" back to you, and if that's what you're waiting for, your pride is going to get in the way of anything happening.

I'm also not sure how you imagine that she'd be able to earn your trust back that anything she says about wanting a relationship with you will last past the moment in which she says it.

>>17511722
The thing is, I don't know if she's sitting there wondering that she fucked up. And even if she was, of course I have some self respect and some pride to keep, this girl hurt me so badly, it makes no sense that I should be the one to contact her, if she really wants me she'll do something about it, that's one of the first parts about regaining my trust. I do understand I am being proud but shit, shouldn't I?

>>17511746
You're being a dope.

You want to let your pride rule on this, then move on with your life.

You want her in your life, then go fucking talk to her.

I think you'd be better moving on. Not only is whether or not this girl is really wanting or capable of a committed relationship in question, but you don't seem like you're going to get past this.

>>17512007
Like I've said before, a part of me obviously wants her in my life, love sucks sometimes and this is a good example of it.

Another part of me doesn't want her back, because of what she did.

So I am left in a crossroad, and a part of me is clinging to the possibility that she could make amends, show me she did nothing wrong and show some regret. That way I could possibly pick the path where I take her back.

But if she doesn't say anything, if after all the bullshit she made me go through you think I am being proud by not saying anything, then I'll pick the other path and move on, no matter how hard it is being for me to take it.

I understand you think pride is getting on my way, but I need this, if I want to hope for her to come back I need her to take a leap of faith, if she can't take it then yes I'd never be able to forget or forgive her probably, whereas if she does take it it's a good start for me to regain some hope on us.