How to understand reserved men?

>>17510181

OP I don't really understand your question. Can you try explaining it again?

Are you frustrated with guys who aren't that discerning and just appreciate a girl who gives them attention (because they tend to choose other girls over you)? Or am I reading this wrong?

>how to handle these

what do you mean? what kinds of problems have you had with people that fall into this category? I'm the type of person you're describing and there isn't really some kind of method, just talk to them. All the girls I met through similar interests that I talked to and got a crush on didn't really seem to be doing anything special, if you like anime and video games and shit and aren't a cunt, absolutely terrible at having conversations or hideous then "just being urself" should be good enough for most guys like me.

As for "understanding" them, I guess the only way would be to have a conversation with them about this kind of thing. But it's probably better to do this kind of thing online, I've never really opened up about myself irl but it's fairly easy for me to talk about my personal problems/thought processes etc when behind a screen.

What exactly are you trying to understand?

>is it worth it
depends on the person

It's not worth it. These guys typically fall in love with their own projections. They do not think of the woman as a person but as an accessory to them.

The soft spot for crazy women is also an example of that. They don't want an actually crazy woman who will make their life hell. They just have a romanticized idea of what it's like and think the craziness will add spice to their personal life or flair to their sense of identity (the man who tames the batshit one, whatever).

The only thing I want to add to that is that you can give someone a chance (like if he's in the category "you are amazing because you let me focus on myself indefinitely" and only wants you to listen to him) because they might snap out of it when they get to know you better, and fall in love with the real you anyway. But be cautious.

>>17510229
You are kinda right, i feel that they'll drop me as soon as i stop acting cheerful ("You've changed...").
And that they don't care about who gives attention really.

>>17510234
You know, guys on 4chan always tell that their standards aren't too high. But insecure guys tend to have fragile egos or some dreams about how a girl should behave.

So i just feel that it'd be very inappropropriate for me to make a cynical nietzsche-wannabe joke, enjoy social satire or unknowingly humiliate their intelligence.
It was very awkward every single time it slipped.

Yeah, these guys don't really talk about their feelings, especially irl, and it probably is a good thing?
They choose whom to trust carefully.
I want to understand how they want girls to act maybe.

>>17510181
Reserved and shy are two different things. A reserved man is usually a good listener, to be honest. Maybe start to tell him something about yourself. How to handle? Well, start a conversation with them, start to know them and if you like him, give him a chance. Also, you don't need to go with him cause "I feel like i don't stand a chance with anybody else." but cause you like him. Is worth? Everyone is different. Someone could be worth and someone not.
>>17510252
Shut up, arrogant cunt.

>>17510276
Did you not read OP's message? She named it "reserved men" but what she describes is something entirely different and way more specific.

>>17510252
Yeah, my first love was hopelessly in love with some imaginary woman, even though he was older than me.
I don't know anymore, i felt bad when i severed any ties with him, because i liked his other flaws except his lack of interest to know actual me.

Sometimes i think, maybe i am a bitch who'll die alone, because i can't tolerate this tiny flaw. Because literally every guy who gets out of his way to talk to me is either an extrovert or from this category.
Sigh, they add weird remarks like "girls shouldn't mention 4chan memes" when they are themselves talking in them. I just want to have fun.

>>17510299
>tfw no meme loving gf
Too bad I'm quite an extrovert, the quiet one though, if it makes sense. I just like people and I smile a lot so there's no much mystery to me unlike with "reserved men"

>>17510299
The thing is, there's no way to compensate for not wanting to get to know you. I don't think lack of interest in who you are is a tiny flaw, at all.

I should add that in my post I did go with the worst case scenario. It is pretty understandable that if a guy is completely inexperienced and a bit intimidated by dating/women/social situations in general, it's going to make a big impression on him that someone pays him attention, smiles at him etc. This does not necessarily say much about him as a person.

However there are also people who will like you only as a crutch and these are the ones you should avoid. If you are always listening to someone, try to turn it around and just start talking about yourself. See how they react. If they immediately become disengaged and zone out, you know they don't like you for your personality or even your company, they like you for your role as audience.

Perhaps you can branch out and find other things you can have in common with someone? (Or did I misunderstand that your OP suggests you are also interested in the hobbies that many of these guys you run into have?)

>>17510271
>I want to understand how they want girls to act maybe.

Yeah then just talk to whoever you're interested in about it. Personally I'd have no problem with it. In fact I'd appreciate the conversation topic, the fact that they were interested in me enough to ask or just that they had a desire to understand something and that I could help them with it. I guess there are probably some guys who might lie or be uncomfortable talking about it for some reason, though.

>So i just feel that it'd be very inappropropriate for me to make a cynical nietzsche-wannabe joke, enjoy social satire or unknowingly humiliate their intelligence.
It was very awkward every single time it slipped.

Are you sure it was awkward and not just you being insecure yourself? Anyways, this kind of thing really depends on the person. I don't think you'll ever find a guy in any category who doesn't have some kind of expectations about how a girl should behave. Nothing you mentioned sounds like something that would bother me, if you made some joke/statement I didn't understand I'd just ask what you meant rather than get "humiliated" and honestly I can't imagine social satire or making cynical jokes as something that would turn off any guy who browses this site and does shit like watch anime etc. But there are obviously still things that could be said that would make me uncomfortable and cause me to lose some interest in a girl, it's just part of human nature I guess.

>>17510271

>I want to understand how they want girls to >act maybe.

I can't speak for everyone but I want ppl to act natural.
If I get the feeling that someone is playing a role I suspect them to betray me.

>They choose whom to trust carefully.

Mhh this is difficult to describe.

I trust some people from the first words they have spoken to me. They know pretty good who I am and what I think.

The similarity of every person I trust or love is that they are offensive charakters.


So from my POV I want girls to act offensive, natural and honest.

The best way to let me lose all interest is to say that you don't have any hobbies.
One time I met such a girl. She said she is just working and looking television.

>>17510181

>Anons, how to handle these and is it worth it?

You should try to take a conversation with someone you like. Speak with them like they are normal persons. If you want to make a cynical joke: Do it.
This way you can see if they can stand you.

>>17510181
>pretending to be someone I'm not gets me attention
>will they still like me when I stop pretending