Should I get a divorce?

Yes. You should get a divorce. Sorry you're pregnant, don't show your child it's okay to be treated like a piece of shit.

>>17509074
>my husband has been cheating
Stopped reading there. Yes. Divorce him. He would be a horrible father, you'd literally be better off as a single mother, though honestly I can't imagine that you won't be able to get into a new relationship.

I was working on the divorce but got discouraged because it costs $, lawyer and time. I'm currently not able to be financially on my own because I had quit my job before I found out so rn I'm dependant on him. It'll take 3-4 months to officially divorce him and that's why I brought up the open relationship idea to him but he insists we work this out. I might lose custody because of my financial position to care for the child. They already told me that they might just separate us for a bit until we manage to work it out but it's not a divorce. The military side is ready to take his side and come at me a full force so that's why I still haven't been fully sure. The state is a no fault state, they told me the cheating evidence I have won't have an impact unless it's evidence of him actually having sex then he could lose in the military side. So because of that I'm still trying to think of how to get him so I can just get it done.

Single mothers are ruining the world, especially America

>>17509315
How?

Don't divorce him until _after_ he signs the birth certificate.

Regards,
Geico

>>17509074
>>17509215

You could try holding out a few months. Don't stress yourself out, and in the meantime, try to make your backup plan without him knowing. Stay amicable and avoid fighting during this time, but don't let him think that everything is A-OK. Maybe after time passes, if he's on good behavior and is working to earn back your trust, your feelings will change. If not, then you'll at least be prepared to leave.

>Pretty fucked up because he always accused me of cheating no matter what.
It's the guilt of what he was doing. It makes cheaters paranoid that the person their with is sneaking around too.

>history of looking at escorts and affair
That's really fucked up. Jump ship. You sure picked a winner, anon.

This is what you get for having sex out of wed lock you stupid rostie.

Now youre married to chad who is pounding fresh pootang on the side while you raise a kid alone.

>>17509334

Haven't you heard? It's because they're single. And mothers, at that! The nerve.

>>17509714
No, just because they're single.

>>17509651
Nah I was already married to him when I got pregnant but nice try

>>17509215
Can you move back home with your parents or a friend? No matter what, you'll have to go through a separation period, which will likely be a year if you wait until after baby is born. You don't have to use a lawyer (but you really should), you can file at the courthouse yourself. I'm no lawfag, but I'm also divorced.

Being a divorced single mom comes with a whole lot of social stigma, but fuck it, rebuild your life and do better for yourself and your child. Your husband will absolutely cheat on you again.

>>17509651
(You)

I wonder if there are actual people like this though.


ANYWAY

OP, judging by this military talk? It sounds like you're still pretty young, if you can move back in with your parents and never trashtalk him to your daughter no matter how much you want to. I don't know fuck all about the legal stuff, however.

OP what would be worse if he had slept with someone once as a mistake, or what he is doing now?

I am not sure what to do in your situation, i think it is very dishonest and he is consciously going out his way to cheat rather than him making a mistake. It would be hard to stay with him knowing this, but at the same time a child needs a father.

How long have you been married? And if you divorced him would he still be willing to spend time with the child?

>>17510281
lolololol
>Divorced
>Single Mom
>Lives with her parents
So you wanna be the biggest loser huh?

>>17509379
I like your advice. Doable. I don't think I could stay with him even if he is on good behavior. It isn't the same for me anymore and I rather be on my own than with him. Who knows. But I'll probably have to through it this way.

Marriage is what you put into it.

He fucked up. Is he trying to make amends? Why did the 'cheating' (quotes because you suggest that you believe that he didn't do any physical things... um, so what the fuck is that then?) happen at all?

If your first thought at an infidelity that didn't include consummation is to divorce, go right ahead. Committment obviously is much too conditional for you.

It may be that you're not telling the whole story. Is that for brevity's sake, or because you are trying to get permission to do what you already want to do?

Frivorce to a military member is not going to result in cash and prizes. 50% of next to nothing is, well, half of fuck all... which, in most places in the US, at least, means that you still need to be married for 10 years to get half of that jack shit we were taking about.

I completely get that you don't trust him. He hasn't given you a reason to trust him at all. Is he repentant in any way? What is he doing to ensure your comfort and rebuilding trust? Those are big obvious steps towards attempts at reconciliation.

Look, most military marriages to enlisted men don't last, especially in low-skill MOS's. It's more to do with class before enlistment and culture during enlistment.
I deal with this shit on my ship- non-military merchant mariners. Scumbags, 3rd worlders and low-class people cheat openly and often. Asking them not to is like asking the dog not to piss on the fencepost.

Now, you made yourself a Dependapotamus, and that's on you, 100% your fault, because there's always options rather than sitting on your unsavory ass, especially where you don't already have kids. No. Excuse. So, get off your ass and get a fucking job and/or the skills to do so.
There's every chance in the world that you'll either have to recommit to the marriage or escape with a kid and minimal child support payments, nothing more. Choose wisely.

>>17510281
I did move in with a close friend after a huge argument with him. It was fine but it was really awkward because of her "husband". I found out my friend's husband was cheating on her big time in a disturbing way where she would sometimes be involved. And my other friend's bf tried hitting on me one time and I told her and she's kept her distance since then. I'm currently back in home state visiting family for a month but no I can't move in with any of them. Not enough space even with me just visiting them. Besides I couldn't last long living with them again. They're great but they got their own routine and they can't really help which is ok and understandable. So I might just have to separate and attempt to get my own living space back in Colorado if anything because no one else is really dependable like that. Sucks because I was there for many of them. ("friends")

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>>17509074
>it's a single mom in the making thread

it's like watching a building imploding in slow motion

>>17510311
The reason I'm still hanging on is because he hasn't slept with someone else. Well at least there is no proof and he swears he hasn't but he's sworn he wasn't cheating on me but that turned out to be a lie. I don't want to get to that point where he actually does sleep with someone else because it seems to be a fetish of his going behind my back. He was with 2 other females in a way before meeting me. 1 was his arranged fiance and another was a a random girl that was getting attached to him. The one he was still talking to was his fiance. Allowing her to believe they were still going to get married this year even after I met his parents and all. I don't get why he didn't just cut it off. He said she's would do something crazy if he broke up with her but I messaged her and let her know I was his wife and she was a bitch about it but she eventually accepted it. She was probably mad she wasn't going to get an easy ticket to become an American and she already had pics of her with other guys the next day. I've been married for about a year and with him for 3 years now. If I divorced him I would allow him to see her but he doesn't want it to be that way.

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>>17510457
>>The reason I'm still hanging on is he hasn't slept with someone else

>>cheating

nigga, wut?

You're crazy and you'd better reign that crazy in or you will drive him to actual cheating. Cheating is when he starts dating and fucking other women. He's allowed to be married to you and speak to other vagina owners.

Pop that kid out, get a shrink for a couple months and see if you don't see this differently without all the hormones and then post partum hormones out of your system.

>>17509334
By generally raising children in broken homes, lacking the time and energy to fully invest in their children, bouncing from shitty partner to shitty partner, raising a generation of sociopaths that don't want children (from having been raised in a lonely/struggling household) and don't value lasting relationships or maintaining them.

Its not all, but yes, this is output of many single parent/mother households. In some way the children are generally lacking that love and attention, at best.

>>17509090
>don't show your child it's okay to be treated like a piece of shit.

THIS SO MUCH HOLY FUCK

It doesn't matter that you're a single mom, as long as you teach you explain to your child early on what self-respect is. oh my God divorce the fuck out of him and get child support.

>>17510509
(OP) shit I just wrote a different reply to someone but it just got lost anyways, he did date other females while being with me.
I didn't do crazy shit maybe fun crazy shit but nothing that would drive him away.

I don't have enough evidence to say he actually slept with someone else because he deleted his texts but I found out he screenshotted this female's address wanting to meet up but can't tell what really happened between them because it's all deleted. I only found that out thanks to Verizon cloud.

I already see a therapist and it's bullshit. She doesn't help much but I see her because I was put to seeing someone because my husband put me in a mental hospital twice in less than a month. Said I was going to drive off a cliff and trapped me in the park (with no cliff in sight) I was chilling at and called the ambulance and they took me. It looked bad on me having to be in there twicr and kept me there for so long and they put me on meds which I stopped taking because I didn't ever need them. It was hell. They literally drive you crazy. So now I'm like on really good behavior and don't argue because I don't want it to be used against me. I'm not depressed but I hang on to the therapist in case if I do get post partum.

>>17510411
(OP) I put a lot into my marriage.
Don't got enough evidence he slept with someone so I can't say he did. I know he did meet up with 1 female and tried to meet up with another but not sure how far it went. I know because of the address he screenshotted and was talking about meeting up.

I can commit but I don't want this to be something I will continuously have to deal with if I stay with him. He doesn't want to divorce, regrets what he's done and wants to work it out. I just don't want to deal with the cheating bullshit. My friend has been with her guy for 9 years and he hasn't stopped cheating and she eventually cheated on him. I don't approve what she did but I rather not be a mess like that and they have 2 kids. She is depressed and drinks a lot. Trying to avoid that type of relationship.

I know all that and don't want anything from him or be some dependant. I had plans and postponed them so we can make it work while being together. I will become independent again after I deliver. Pregnancy was unexpected. Was taking birth control but we did have a lot of sex (2-3x a day). He was influenced to cheat by ppl.

The issue is definitely trust now. I can attempt to keep this marriage alive and working but I can't do it on my own obviously. He has given me his accounts and phone login and I gave him mine as well.

He still tried to do sly shit even still. He'd deleted texts and I can see the numbers he texted and he'd say someone at work needed to use his phone. I shouldn't have to force him not to cheat, if he truly wants it to work out he'd stop but I can't tell if he has. I haven't heard of a relationship working out after someone cheats and it not happening again. I'm giving him time but I'm just hoping the time doesn't keep going down the drain.