Shit

Someone took a kiss-greeting the wrong way? Tell me what you did fagget

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>>17505144

Okay.

So, I just back from an exchange. I had been having lots of fun but also I experienced many hardships as well that eventually came to effect my attitude.

When I had moved to my fourth and last host family, they seemed really cool. My last host father was the guy who got me there and was very happy to have me after seeing how much I studied the language by myself and used it amongst them. I was very fond of him and his family which consisted of him, the mother, and two boys around my age, however one of them was on an exchange as well.

When I had started to realize how abusive the father was, I started to get uneasy.

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>>17505166

I started to realize how forcefully desensitized the family was to his abuse, but the most harrowing of it all was how they had all at once would attack the mother and think of nothing of it. She would simply take it, and if and only if sometimes would say, "stop." I realized that they had mistreated simply because she turned out to be the bitch of the family (I started to use that word loosely after learning more about them).

Eventually, when the mom would want to go on walks with the dog who hated men because she got beaten whenever she did something wrong, she asked me to go with because the father wouldn't allow her to walk when it got dark. I was reluctant at first, but then I remembered the Yes-man attitude my exchange group had encouraged constantly and thought that I should go.

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At first everything was normal. We had walked, and maybe talked a little, and that was it.

However, when we started to talk about more serious topics such as what how my culture compared to hers and how they conflicted/in what ways did they work well or could learn from each other as well as going as far to talk about the meaning of life and other such topics. It got to a point where we were able to talk about anything with each other.

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>>17505182
>in before you fuck the host family mom in your fictional story

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At one point I had talked to her about my views of existentialism (though I didn't know how to say that in the language) and my goals in life, and simply how I have planned out my life. She didn't like what I said only because she was worried for me, and how "such a nice person" like me would ever want to do that to themselves if they failed. At that point I was very worried about how she felt about me because I didn't want her to worry like I was her own child or something to that affect.

From that moment of time I tried to push her away by being as neutral and cold as possible. Quick backstory on me: I never really had a family. I had a mom, but it got to where I now only consider her as the woman who birthed me. With that, I had said that I don't want a mother because if your birth mother isn't your mother, no one else can be. She was hurt to hear that. She was hurt at a lot of things I said in order to protect myself. I had at one point made it clear that I will not miss her and that she should forget me as much as possible so then she wouldn't be too hurt when the time came that I had to go back.

OP your story is boring.

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>>17505206
Not fictional. That's fine if you don't believe me, but just wait and listen.

Continuing, I was very hurt myself when I had said these things to her because she started to mean a lot to me. Like a mom. She would listen to what I had to say and I would do the same for her, and although we had our disagreements, we never hated each other. It was the first time I was able to say that I loved somebody and meant it. Not in a sexual way, not in a romantic way, but in a I care for you and want to make the best for you way.

The father had eventually seen how well we got along, and started to give me strange looks―looks of disgust that I think he thought I didn't realize because I was thought to be too naive or something.

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>>17505242
I wanted to put this in a get it off your chest thread, but it would be completely ignored if I did, so up yours. This is my thread. Enjoy it or not, it doesn't matter for I'm doing this mostly for myself. I just wanted someone to get me started.

Anyway, as time went on, I was very much aware at how much alcohol this guy drank, and how he pretty much would always have alcohol in his system 24/7. He would never get super woozy, but when he got made he stirred in his pot of water and kept drinking while thinking of ways to get back. Some nights it would get to him and he would get noticeably irritated, threatening to hit his kid in front of me, and even explained that if he was being unreasonable that it was completely justified. I never saw him hit his son, but he described how hard he hit his son and how he would make him cry.

>>17505242
Fuck off faggot.
Keep going OP; Its a good story

>>17505268
>This is my thread.
More or less this. Your needless opinion is surely noted, but I'm not certain what you expect OP to do about it.

Dealing with your own experience is up to you. Else you're a broken, deficient, newage degenerate.

>>17505166
>>17505182
>>17505203
>>17505237
>>17505255
>>17505268
Just from what you've listed here, sounds like a classic case of NPD with his wife as the scapegoat/enabler.

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I recall one time when he got livid and lashed out at his wife so much so that I knew that if I did leave then something scary would happen. It reminded me of my parents when I was little as well as seeing other families and their dysfunction, so I was a little familiarized with how that might have gone had I not sat there listening. He showed his true colors at that time then, and coupled with everything else that he would do (like say one thing and then looking away say something insulting, to which he would immediately look back like it didn't happen), I figured out what kind of person he really was. How he would feign enjoyment so willingly, his abuse, everything he had to offer as a person only served the image he had to maintain for his work and social life. I started to feel bad for him, what with all of his hard work and dutiful caring of others, but at the same time I could only think, "What went wrong?"

I hadn't heard much about his life growing up other than that he had many siblings and had grown up with a conservative and angry father (not that they have any correlation), but I'm sure with some imagination the pieces could be fit together.

> I'm going to try and wrap this up, so if anyone has any questions or wants detail I can answer them and go from there as well as correct myself if need be

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>>17505272
Thanks I guess.
>>17505282
Not quite. I would like to see if your opinion after I have finished however.

Moving on, it had become clear that although not perfect, he was trying his best to make things right with himself in terms of how to maintain his life and keep things in the balance, but that in turn costed him to believe in a way of life that was taxing on himself and his family. I felt so bad for them. I wanted to show that there is such as thing as forgiveness instead of ignoring the other person or what you, but I couldn't do it. I wasn't trying to put myself up on a pedestal at all. I simply wanted to show them that there was a healthy way of expressing anger, but again, I couldn't do it.

Near the end of my exchange, I had realized my mistakes, and wanted to amend them. I had told the mother that I was wrong when it came to family and that my isolation since childhood had affected my thoughts and feelings for anyone getting too close to me. Her family and way of life worked because they had been raised and taught to put up with certain things for the sake of balance. I had said I was sorry beyond words, and that I would miss her. I still wouldn't call her mother, but she respected that for she understood how I had been hurt, and that I was glad to have met someone who had been willing to lend me their ear.

>>17505349
>I would like to see if your opinion after I have finished however.
Is it over?

I still stand by what I've said. People with NPD often come from a long line of family members that suffer from NPD or FLEAS. It's not inherited but it is a learned behavior. You can see it in his need for control, violence, gaslighting, etc.

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Forgive my English. It's still been a while since I spoke it, and I'm also tired.

Before then, I had shared with her the idea of showing appreciation for your loved ones. I would never talk as if I was an expert on anything, but I shared my thoughts on the expression of "I love you" and how it can be used for lovers, family, and even friends. A few nights before I had said to her those very words, but I used her name instead, for using mother would hurt much more than it already did. She had started to cry and said the same thing in the same way back to me. I wanted to cry, but it had been so long since I cried for anything that I couldn't. It was like I lost the function completely through displacing myself whenever something bad happened during adolescence. I felt terrible. I felt like a robot... I felt that I was almost incapable of feeling that emotion, like I had been lobotomized by my own will. I then had told her exactly what I thought, and how I had been horribly ineffective at trying to show a perhaps more enjoyable side of life... I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or upset anyone (and I know very well we can't please everyone), but I did. And I am disgusted with myself. It's self loathing, yes, that which brings all men bad and good down, but I can't help but feel like I had done more than I had ever wanted... It's my stupidity that got the best of me.

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>>17505380

I know it's awfully slow. I apologize for it.

What is FLEAS? I have never heard of a family member being diagnosed by either, so it's most definitely a learned behavior. I'd like to learn more about it if I could. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Are you some sort of doctor or student? Not that that has anything to do with your credibility, but your diagnosis may very well me.

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>>17505399

Oh, I thought you were talking about me.

Yes, yes, because he worked hard all day and night he would often demand there be dinner in front of him everyday, and that his lunch be made and all that. His composure was astonishing to say the least.

OP, what nationality are you and what was the nationality of this family?

Also, this seems like something better shared on /int/ but given how full of /pol/ shitposting it is I guess this was the best place.

>>17505402
well, i dont really get by how you destroyed a family??

>>17505399
>What is FLEAS?
Frightening Lasting Effects of Abuse. It's when a non-PD person suffers abuse and learns to imitate the behavior in order to survive. You see this often in children of those with Cluster B Personality Disorders.

>Are you some sort of doctor or student?
Other people on here are sure to know me, so I'll just say that I help support estranged children. I'm also an adult child of someone with ASPD.

>>17505402
Not you, the father. Sorry, I should have been more specific. Given your level of empathy, and the fact that you're worried about her and how you treated her, I don't think you personally have anything to worry about. I don't know you or your background enough to say, but that's usually one of the first things you notice in dealing with these people. Lack of empathy.

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I want to make clear that we never held hands or rubbed against each other or anything of that nature. It was a time in my life where I had met someone that I knew I should make a part of my life in any way shape or form. And she is one of those people... which is why it hurt even more to think that I was to cross the ocean again in a matter of a few days. When she had accepted the idea of appreciation through words and used it, I was happy. Just in that I got through to her, having her embrace another idea in the world she had not personally heard/experienced. I was overjoyed really.

On the last day before my departure, she and I had the house to ourselves again for the very last time. It was then that when she was talking to her dog and said, "Has OP [finally] wanted to stay?"

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>>17505428
Don't get too excited. It has started to near the end however.
>>17505447
Thank you for answering my questions. Really it was my fault for misreading your post. I'm worrying about something that this will lead to in a moment.
>>17505426
I will say later, as I am reluctant now. And yes, if you want something to be given the chance to be taken seriously, I wouldn't post in on /pol/ or even /int/ just because I've seen a lot of the same kinds of posts end up there.

I had started to weep then. It had been a while since that, I'll tell you. I had said over and over again that I was sorry, and that I only want her to understand that I feel the same way she does. In my head, I had wanted to yes, I do want to stay, but I said nothing simply to not make it anymore painful for either of us.

> Hang on a second, have to do a thing or two, will be back

>>17505108
This whole story is fictional.
I have no idea why you want to share it on an advice board.

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>>17505509
No it ain't.

I'm back.

So we had said out final words before leaving for the airport, but she had written something for me to read and had put it in a picture box and said not to open it until I had left the airport at some time. At the airport, we had run into many acquaintances who were waiting for a plane to come, and had then met with people who sponsored me to wish me well and say their goodbyes. I had hugged my second host brother and mother, and had hugged my counselor and finally, her. It was not long at all (as for this culture a hug is even considered a little much usually), and for some reason it was only done with arm as I suppose it's something she (they) are very well acclimated to. Although it was short, she had shed the last tears I might ever see from her, and although I didn't cry, I wanted to. I wanted to keep holding her because I didn't know if I would ever come back or not. With that, she had told me to come back home one day, and I had said that I would, not knowing whether that was true or not.

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When I had sat in the plane, I had thought about opening that gift, but I waited around 2 hours before doing so. I'll translate the letter:

"OP,

Spending three months with brought me happiness and was very fun. We went walking with Hina [Dog] everyday didn't we? We talked about a lot of things, and as we did I started to understand OP more and more, and I started to like you more and more. When you go back to [country], we may not be able to see each other for a little while, but I'll always hope that one day we'll meet again. I'm going to miss you[a lot***]. But I know that OP will do well, and although far away I'll be rooting for you. If there's anything you have that you want to get away from, or when you don't have anywhere else to go, contact me please. I might not be by your side but I know I will be able to listen and understand you.Always look to the sky and know that we see the same stars. I will not goodbye!! I love OP. Let's meet again"

[a lot***] > She had used a different letter that expressed the same idea but with a deeper, more lonely sentiment that really means a lot to me.

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By the time I had gotten back, and a couple weeks had passed, I realized that I might try my hand at going back. I had contacted her and told her, and she delighted... and I was happy. But she had searched a little and found to no avail there was some easy way I could come back. I was a little heart broken to see that, and I could see it in her writing that she too was sad. A little disheartened at that moment, I cried, but then took upon myself to look as she said to do so (with the implication of wishing she herself were wrong). After a while I came back with information that, when read, helped realize that I could come back on a very specific visa. By then I had contacted one of the people who sponsored me and asked if I could receive help in coming back... and after a little bit I became frantic and asked the mother what I should do, to which she replied with a response I felt was a little cold, and then had realized that maybe she wouldn't want me back. Then after did I start to ask some questions, leading myself to be vulnerable and even desperate sounding, but my feelings were hurt and I wanted some closure, to which she never gave within a couple to a few days after. At that point I had the feeling that something went very, very wrong. Like the father had seen the emails and that he was fuming with hate for me and his wife.

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I had cried and had hoped nothing like that did happen, but it was too long of a wait. I knew something went wrong.

And that is where it comes to today (well, 8 hours ago making it yesterday).

I made on an app because I didn't put any security measures on my phone. This app is well used over there but not here, so I made especially so then I could get in contact with them over there. Soon after, I had been contacted by the father.

He had started off with him saying "I saw the emails between you and [the mother]. I have one question. Did you touch each other or did anything like that?"

"Answer honestly"

"Did you have sex?"

"What did you mean by 'Thank you for everything'?"
> I had said thank you for everything to her because that was the email where I had found out I wasn't able to go, and I was crying and wanting to thank her for listening, worrying, and talking to me like a mother, though I didn't specify what I was thanking her for, which made him mad

cap him OP

>>17505576
All those fucking posts for this? You could've summarized all of this in one fucking post. Just explain what you meant by "thank you for everything" to the padre, and leave it at that. She's not your mother, or your woman to take care of. If you really, really fucking care. Go over there and take her home with you.

>>17505554
>Hina [dog]

Ah, so it is a Japanese family. It makes sense, the part about love you mentioned earlier kind of gave it away.

>>17505576
He is a delusional drunken bastard lol, even if you tell him the truth he will just assume she cheated because it's the narrative he wants to believe and it will fuel his reasoning to beat her more.

What a pathetic human being, although it's as you said and it's likely he was abused as a kid too but is too weak to break the cycle.

You didn't "ruin" anything that wasn't already broken and dysfunctional under the guise of being united. It's difficult to defuse a situation like this, but if you tell him your story about you and your birth mother maybe there is still some sanity left in him. Also, reassure him you don't plan to come back ever again, which is probably in your best interests anyway.

And if that's not enough to convince him you didn't, there was nothing else you could do because that's just how he is. It would be silly of him to divorce her over a false suspicion, so I don't think you harmed their marriage. Their relationship was already fucked up long before you arrived into the picture.

>>17505576
You really didn't have to write everything out for this.

Did you explain everything to him?

>>17505597
>He is a delusional drunken bastard lol, even if you tell him the truth he will just assume she cheated because it's the narrative he wants to believe and it will fuel his reasoning to beat her more.
This.

He doesn't care what you have to say, OP. He'll believe what he wants to believe and further justify his bad behavior. All that you can really do is hope that she has the mental fortitude to break free.

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I had answered everything he asked honestly, and what kind of person she was to me was something I knew I had to answer with accuracy. Before asking me what kind of relationship I had with her, he was trying to coax the "real" answer out of me by saying that I needed to get in good relations with him if I want to go back. He was obviously lying at this point, but I had no reason not to tell the truth, so I did. The dumb bastard then asks exactly how my life is here, and I tell him too, however this time he said take my time... And so I did. Not after two hours did I finish, but it was a short piece that got down to the point I thought anyway. After that he had responded again, and asked about the letter. He wanted me to take a picture of the letter and send it to him without telling the mother. I objected to that and said I was going to contact her first before sending it, but I didn't wait for her response. She hadn't been responding and had only sent something once about saying "everything honestly because she talked to him. He will calm down" and shit like that.

She is obviously afraid.
He on the other hand is livid.

That letter gave him enough proof to do whatever the hell he is going to do after saying to me that he fought with her, and that I was splitting them apart, and that he doesn't want me to "intervene" in his family (the way he said it was pretty forceful for him).

I bet he drank and just sat on it like he always does, stinking about how poor he is for having such a shit wife I'm sure. That's just the kind of feeling you would get with him, you know? You could tell he's that way because I think his drunkard ways let him to think he was smarter in catching hints and shit than others, or at least me because I was a foreigner who still didn't understand everything about their culture. He was right about the culture thing, but to take me for an idiot? Well, I might have just proved that to myself with the picture.

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>>17505587
Don't get triggered. Of course I want her. But this has to be done carefully.

>>17505587
I did. I said everything about what it was really like, no. He wasn't having. Like some of the other posts said he's already a crazy drunkard with a lot fire to fuel.
>>17505580
That got me to chuckle. Thank you.
>>17505597
Glad you're intuitive enough.
>>17505599
Yes, yes, and yes. Even after trying to reason with him, I knew it was futile. But if anything I bought the mother some time to escape because she had apparently left in between when I was writing another explanation.
>>17505601
I know, but I would rather do something over nothing.

Don't any of you who are belly aching about it being too long ever want to just talk about shit that you feel the need to get off your chest? Like seriously, I'm doing this for myself because I need to talk about this for my own damn health.

>>17505621
>Don't any of you who are belly aching about it being too long ever want to just talk about shit that you feel the need to get off your chest? Like seriously, I'm doing this for myself because I need to talk about this for my own damn health.
Sure. In which case, type it all out in Notepad and then copy paste. I've been here for hours waiting to get to the end.

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After saying he was done, he hasn't looked at any of his messages.

It's terrifying you guys. I'm pretty sure he's drunk, mad, and looking for her. She might of even ditched her phone just so then he couldn't track her or something with that ifind app or whatever... That may be the reason why she hasn't said or looked for anything for 5-6 hours.... I hope...

Right now I'm just waiting... for something. For her to say anything...or have it say she opened the chat...

I'm so scared... for her... fuck. Like one of the anons here, I just have to hope she's strong enough to get herself out of this funk. I know I'm not responsible for it, but fuck me if he's going to hurt her....

It hurts. Fuck. I've staying up all night but nothing has come of it...

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>>17505624
Okay, I'll do that next time. Thank you for the request. I post here often, and plus I'm frantic about things right now so I'm sometimes not even thinking straight. I hope you can at least understand.

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>>17505637
I don't post here often is what I mean.

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Now it's just a waiting game. One of the son's tried to call me in the middle of the night... I would he is pissed or wants to know what's going on. Most likely pissed though knowing him.

One of you hold me. Send me a virtual hug or something. I'm so worried about her. Shit. I hope the kids decide to do something about it, but....

>>17505637
It's all good, just thought I'd point that out. We get looooong threads sometimes.

>>17505634
>It hurts. Fuck. I've staying up all night but nothing has come of it...
I'm sorry, OP. Do you know anyone in the area that could try contacting her?

>>17505644
>One of the son's tried to call me in the middle of the night...
Ever get in touch with him? I'm sending e-hugs your way.

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>>17505646

No, all I can think of is:

A)she through her phone out and is hiding. Her phone is her only mode of communication that she knows how to use well. Not really computer savvy enough to email me... She probably doesn't even remember her password... But then again I wonder if you got a hold of her email or he made her send the emails I sent to him address, or what. I still don't know a lot.

B)she went to the cops (I don't know if she would actually do that though)

C)She's gone to a friend's... maybe, I don't know, she's a nurse so maybe she went there, or...

D)She got caught by him.. fuck, if there's a god, help her now so help me.

In any case she might have turned off the phone, but I don't think that prevents tracking... I really know how iphones work...

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>>17505648
No, I want to, but I don't know how he is going to react because he can get pretty mad too and, well, I'll have to call him when I'm not at my grandparent's house in the middle of the night.

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>>17505653
I don't really know how iPhones work I mean...
*sigh*

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>>17505621
>>17505634
The app you mentioned earlier is LINE isn't it? That too is a dead giveaway but only to someone who knows about it.

(and sorry for making assumptions I wasn't sure if you were finished)

It's just such a tragic situation, I sincerely do hope she went to the cops because he is a threat to not only her but their children. Some mothers will take abuse fron the father willingly if they know their children will grow safely because of it but if the father is hurting the kids as well, that's another thing entirely.

>>17505644
I would hug the living hell so hard out of you, OP. I'm very sorry too.

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>>17505671
No, you know your stuff. It's fine to say it at this point, but damn it. It's not even about the kids. I don't think he would hit his beloved sons unless they were being complete brats (only one of them is and he's 20, and like I mentioned he's been hit hard by the dad before, but if~.Other one is younger but way more mature).

Thanks by the way. I just hope she does the smart thing, whatever that may be...

>>17505648
Thanks for the e-hugs by the way. I appreciate it a lot.

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Unashamed self-bump.

Fuck, still nothing...

Please let her be safe...

what country?

>>17505982
Japan

Please, just anything to know that she is alright....... please please please.....

>>17505986
how long did it take you to learn the language?

also good luck anon, I hope she will be safe too. Sending positive vibes my man

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>>17506005

Had interest in culture through different means (no, not anime or anything like that). I had taken it upon myself to learn the language by myself, and with a year and half worth of studying, I went. I can read about 1800 or so characters and can hold a conversation.

Thanks for the vibes. Everything is appreciated. I just need this as an outlet for what's to come... or what isn't coming rather....

Don't let anything bad happen to her, please, please...

It hurts... anything... please....

I don't want to sit here without there being a solution... preferably one where no one gets hurt.... He probably beat her dog, fuck.... unless she took it... but I don't know...

Fuck, my phone is dead and I can only check on the internet... damn it. I don't want anything happening to her. Fuck, please, come already, say "I'm okay." Anything is fine...

I mean on the computer....

Fuck... Please, let her be okay...

I gotta go soon... Please....

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Hope is all we have now.
Godspeed

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Fuck, I have to go for a few minutes... please. Please, don't hurt her. Please. I'm begging you. Hurt me instead. I ought to pay for this, not her. We did nothing wrong but if one of us is going to get hurt, let it be me. I'll going over there just to get my ass kicked, I don't care. Please, please..... Just be alright...

For a few hours or so....

Fuck...

Will be back

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Still nothing. It is 3AM there though, so I would hope everyone is asleep.

Got to contact one of the sons at least.

Sent a message to both sons. Hopefully this will turn out fairly well, but I know at least one of them is probably pissed.

>>17506567
Maybe you need to back off a bit and let their family work on things a bit. You're probably going to end up getting blocked. When they're ready to speak to you, they will, and your impatience can and will make things worse.
If it's a nice day out where you are, go out and clear your head or something.

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>>17506585

Yeah, there's a picnic thing I'm going to today that is being held by the people who sponsored me in name over here, so I will have something to do besides homework and stressing out about this all day.

But I will keep coming back just to check and maybe bump.