How to make anal less painful

despite what porn and tumblr sluts will tell you, there isn't anything. the majority of women despise anal, because there's literally nothing there for it to be pleasurable. it's the equivalent of your husband trucking your elbow, only with more germs and microtears and risk of infection and stds.

it's a tricky situation because you're trying to repair a marriage and he liked it, but honestly it's healthy and normal for both people to have boundaries, and if you really don't like anal sex you shouldn't have to do it. i'm sure there's something you're into your husband doesn't care for.

>>17504995
Fucking virgin detected Jesus Christ.

Ease into it, and I'm not talking put it in slow I mean; During regular vaginal sex when you are close to orgasm try just a finger or SMALL vibrator in your ass and climax. After maybe 20+ orgasms with this you will associate anal with orgasm and you can move from there to a larger vib and eventually his dick.
Talking from experience here as my last 3 GF's and my current wife all hated anal with a passion but I found away to bypass this.

>>17504995
I was worried this was the case too... That it wasn't just something you get used to and learn to love. I just want to be able to get to a point where I can make it look like I'm absolutely adoring it because I hope to limit it to something I only do on special occasions(By persuading him its bad for my health to do it too regularly).

>>17505003

not a virgin, i just happen to have a vagina and know what i'm talking about. because i, you know, have one. and talk to other women. and read statistics on sexual health.

your gfs and wife are most likely pretending. even if one of them are in very small minority that gets something out of anal, it's because you're hitting their g-spot through the anal-vaginal wall, which is- excuse the pun- the most ass backwards way to fuck a women. hitting a spot in the vagina through a wall of muscle, instead of just fucking the vagina.

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>>17505031
>I don't like it, and because I have a vagina I know everyone with one also doesn't like it

>>17505040

>i like to stick my pee-pee in poo and because i like it i ignore every study ever done on anal sex and the risks it carries

analfags are the worst

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>>17505045
>I REALLY don't like it, so everyone that does it stupid

>>17505004
I remember your old thread. Just be honest with the guy, for fucks sake. I get that you feel guilty and that you have to do this but you really don't. You cheated on him and that makes you a pretty horrible person, but that doesn't mean you now have to be his personal sex slave. Try it a couple more times if you can bear it, maybe try easing into it like someone else suggested to show good willing but stop trying to deceive him.

Don't pretend you enjoy it.
Don't try convince him it's bad for your health.
Just fucking talk to him about how you feel.

>>17505031
First off, I have a dick and i don't like anal but many, many men before me like it and alot of men "learn" to like it, just like I'm saying here.
Don't speak for your whole gender because your fucking retarded and you make them look bad.

>>17505058

the difference is men have a prostrate which is capable of sexual pleasure and is most effectively reached through the anus, though it can also be reached through the taint. women don't. the anus itself is physically incapable of feeling sexual pleasure, that's just fact. i'm not speaking for my gender because of my personal preferences, i'm speaking for it because science backs me up.

>>17505058
>your retarded

Obviously impartial because I'm here asking for advice but this tickles my funny bone.

>>17505054
I kinda wanna say "special occasions" purely because I could warm up before hand as I know it's coming if that makes sense?

Also
>Don't pretend
I want him to enjoy sex as much as possible and I think a little pretending(That it isn't a deeply violating and unpleasant experience) would go a long way in that.

>talk to him
I tried to bring it up and, before I could say it was difficult for me, he was telling me how it was the hottest thing seeing me like that.

He's done that twice... I think he does just really enjoy doing it to me.

>>17505076

I'm not the anon you are arguing with, but I've been with around a dozen women or so in my time and I've done anal with I think eight of them. All of whom asked for it, and asked for it again. I don't love anal, but I'll do it for my partner because their pleasure gets me off more than anything else.

I don't have a huge or girthy dick, and more than one always said the best part was the penetration. I figured out that, excuse the pun, bottoming out and then pulling all the way out, and repeating at great speed with a bunch of lube was amazing. As I said, all eight girls that asked for it asked for it again and again. I think only two of the chicks (whom were older) had actually had any experience with it before hand.

I know that this is purely anecdotal, and that statistically there will be a man somewhere on earth that has many partners all of whom enjoy anal sex and vice versa, but from talking to those women, and many others among my sizeable female friendship circle I have to say that your assessment just doesn't seem to add up to my experience.

Physiologically I concede there may be no pleasure points around or in the anus for a woman, but psychologically many seem to be able to derive pleasure from the stimulation there.

>>17504974
I hate to sound like a foul shrew, but you deserve a bit of discomfort after cheating.

You should ease into it with progressively larger toys, etc.

>>17505091
>deserve

This does help me get through it, yes.

>>17505088

i think you said it best yourself, you just happen to be the statistical anomaly that knows more women who get something out of anal sex. that doesn't change the fact that most don't.

like if you changed ops post to her husband discovering he had a major foot fetish and some foot fetish guy came in and claimed that women could orgasm through their feet and he's taught every girl he knows to love having their feet licked and you read your post that 8 out of your 12 lovers loved having their feet worshiped and then claimed that every woman loves having their feet worships you'd say that's bullshit, right? so why do you jump through mental gymnastics to make anal different, when it's not?

>>17505080
You said you had to bite your arm to get through it - that sounds like a deeply unpleasant experience to me. I'm not saying don't ever try it again, but I think your husband deserves to know that it's unpleasant and painful for you as it stands and perhaps a better option would be to try easing into it.

Also,
>>17505094
This mindset is unhealthy. Regardless of your past actions, you're still a person with likes and dislikes and their own needs. If you do things you hate doing just because you think you don't deserve any better, you'll soon start to feel very unhappy in your relationship again.

>>17505110
OP here

Because with a foot fetish I wouldn't have to starve myself for a day and a half beforehand, get an enema(far from pleasant) two or three times before hand and then try to smile my way through five to ten minutes of excruciating pain as a reward for my troubles(All whilst feeling nauseous due to lack of food). I think there's a big difference personally.

But thankfully some anons do have advice, even if it means spending my husbands money on a toy collection that I can arrange into an Adidas logo.

And here I was thinking that original thread was bait. Guess it was true, or you have way too much free time.

>>17504974
He's doing it to prove a point.

Enjoy it or leave.

>>17505114
>Regardless of your past actions, you're still a person with likes and dislikes and their own needs.
The only reason she stopped cheating was because the guy found out she had a husband and was disgusted by her actions.

Pretty sure her Husband opted for anal because he knew it would hurt.

>>17505133
Yeah, I remember the thread. Her actions are disgusting and I don't think her husband should have stayed. But for whatever reason he's decided to try make it work and if that's his choice then he needs to do just that - try make it work. Not try get back at her.

>>17505133
>>17505127
I hope not

Also

No one knows about the affair beyond me, my husband, and the man I had the affair with(Who has no mutual friends with me or my husband, he lives in the city, all our friends live in the sub-urbs).

>>17505114
I just don't want to lose him so I'm willing to go through a few months of suffering to make amends.

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>>17505154
True, but if my pet theory is correct trying to make anal hurt less is putting the cart ahead of the horse. If he wants to inflict pain, trying to make it hurt less is moot and he'd just swap to something else.

Or in other words, how to save the relationship is a different question from how to make anal work. Honestly this entire situation is a pretty good example of why you should never take a cheater back unless you can honestly move on. I'd probably become a much angrier and worse problem in her husbands situation.

>>17505160
>No one knows about the affair beyond me, my husband, and the man I had the affair with(
That doesn't really matter I'm pretty sure.

Just put the D In The A skank. like a good beech n know your daddy's fuck doll

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>>17505167
THIS
currently putting an end to my affairs for my GF. She accepted me even after 2 incidents, but this time she doesn't know that I'm just about to end it...
Don't know how she'll react, but I'm doing this for her.. She never took vengeful actions on me, even after everything I've said and done. But I don't want to abuse her...
Honestly i feel like I don't deserve her.
pic related: us

Fuck you whore. "He made you" have an affair? Have you ever taken responsibility for anything in your life?

Guess what, you're taking it up the ass in pain because YOU want it. You know you don't deserve anything less whore. You're trash.

And don't worry, if he isn't whoring around on you, he will, if he's got any kind of self respect. He's just taking his.

>>17505221
This past affair was the first time in my life I'd ever cheated. Never in any of my puppy love teenagerhood relationships did I cheat, never during my time at college did I cheat, never whilst I was dating my hubby prior to getting married did I cheat.

So I hope, if I avoid the conditions that made me have the affair in the first place, that I won't be unfaithful again.


>>17505234
Don't think I ever said that.

If I find out he's having an affair of his own I'll divorce him, of course.

Also, why does this make you so angry? I'm trying to work through my shortcomings meanwhile yours seem to be unresolved.

It doesn't take a genius to guess you've been cheated on multiple times or by someone you truly cared so I'd love to hear how it effected you.

I think it would help you and it would certainly help me in my situation. Thanks in advance!

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>>17505249
>If I find out he's having an affair of his own I'll divorce him, of course.
Why would you hold him to a standard you couldnt keep?

>>17505249
yeah, the conditions repeat if it's something to do with what you love to do...but in the end, I admit my fault on both instances mainly because I allowed the situation to escalate beyond my control.. I'm taking responsibility of it now, before the love of my life ends up tired and does the same shit to me..

>If I find out he's having an affair of his own I'll divorce him, of course.
Really? so if the tables turn you wont give him a chance to make things right? you don't deserve him..

>>17505258
>leeching slut
>kek

>>17505257
>>17505256
I suppose I should have been clearer.

If, whilst I'm trying to make amends for fucking up, he's sleeping around?

The marriage is dead, I ruined it and it can't be salvaged.

If he HAS(as opposed to he's having) an affair a few years down the line it'll be a complete different situation and, seeing as we would have worked through this, I'd have faith we could work through that too.

But surely that's fair, right? Him having an affair(NOW, to be clear) probably shows he's only avoided the divorce because of family and friends, as opposed to any desire to work through it or any remaining love for me.

>>17505262
working it out is all about love and dedication, anon. Don't wait to hit to rock bottom before you realize that.

Go get couple's counselling.

>>17505249
You don't get brownie points because you didn't cheat until the time where it matters the most. And "made" you cheat? If I remember right, you and your husband just had some bad sex. What a truly disgusting person you've shown yourself to be.

>>17505118
>Because with a foot fetish I wouldn't have to starve myself for a day and a half beforehand, get an enema(far from pleasant) two or three times before hand and then try to smile my way through five to ten minutes of excruciating pain as a reward for my troubles(All whilst feeling nauseous due to lack of food).

Random anon jumping in here. If you're doing all that prep work just for anal, you're doing it wrong. There will always be poop. Expect it, don't fight it. Just pass what you can before anal and wash out anything left. It's much more enjoyable that way.

As for making the act itself more pleasant, place a small dildo inside your ass while you play with yourself. I can't enjoy anal unless I'm sopping wet, but I also can't orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. With anal, I have an easier time hitting my fun spot. If you also have control over the thrusting, at least initially, it's not as painful. You should also look into coconut oil for lubrication--it doesn't wear off as quickly as synthetic stuff and you can insert it in chunks (it will melt and spread).

>>17505262
continued from >>17505266
If you're willing to accept the fact that the marriage is dead, why ffs would you not let him find a better life?
It's not dead until both of you let it die..
As a random cartoon tree once said, "Everything worth its value is worth fighting for".

>>17505269
Yes, me and my husband were having terrible sex.

One of the main things I realise is that I was isolated and, had I have been seeing friends and talking about it all(Instead of internalising) I'd have never cheated.

>>17505249
You can cheat, if he cheats, you'll divorce him. Women's logic. What a self entitled bitch

>>17505048
I bet you fuck dogs

>>17505271
Jesus...

I meant that as a continuation/answer to the hypothetical question asked before.

Him having an affair now would signify to me that the marriage is dead on his half and really he holds all the chips at the moment. We're still together because of his kindness and willingness to give me another chance, if it was actually only his fear of his family seeing his first marriage end in failure or something then how can we even go on.

I'm literally working my ass off, yes literally, to make sure he's as happy as I can make him. If I can't make him happy enough to stay loyal then what hope is there?

Hope I've finally cleared things up.

>>17505270
I feel like I can't afford to let it be filthy like that, he'd hate it and that would be a disaster.

Also coconut oil sounds like a good idea, I usually have a fair amount around the kitchen(My aunty who taught me to cook as a teen is from the Caribbean).

>>17505315
Go reconcile with your mother after you actually read the thread you abused /r9k/ man baby.

The only "women logic" you know is spouted from those shitty PUA sites that seem to fail you again and again and again.

What a self entitled, world's-against-me, basement dweller. Shouldn't you be checking for replies on your pepe the frog thread about why no girls like you?

/rant

>>17505539
>I feel like I can't afford to let it be filthy like that, he'd hate it and that would be a disaster.
Use towels. Lots and lots of towels. If he ends up hating it (most guys don't mind a little brown as long as it feels good) maybe he'll stop sooner rather than later.

>>17505539
>Shouldn't you be checking for replies on your pepe the frog thread about why no girls like you?
kek'd

>he'd hate it and that would be a disaster.

Explain "a disaster" If he can't handle a mishap then maybe this is dead

>>17505539
Fuck you whore. I do alright. Mainly because I don't date whores that "cheated because bf made me". Or do you think that any intelligent guy would be lucky to date your STD ridden asshole!?

Take responsibility for your actions and give your man the ass.

You didn't cheat because your boyfriend can't fuck, you cheated because you're a whore. I'm sure you have found other excuses to cheat before. But the sooner you internalise that you're a whore, the better.

FYI, mom's great. Drop your girlie mag pseudopsychology.

>>17505760
>Being this furious about a woman you don't even know

You come here to be angry at strangers, to vent emotions you have pent up from probable maltreatment from women, emotions you were too afraid to let loose on a person to person basis(Maybe justifiably, you might be the type of man who strikes women in anger, I don't know). I think this is something you need to work on... I may have been wrong about your mother, though I doubt I'm wrong about your significant, deep-seated issues with women.

The fact you see us in such a catch-all, easy-to-chalk-up light shows that you're inexperienced with women and that the narrow field of experience you HAVE had with women has been wholly unpleasant.

Either way spewing at me, a stranger, won't help you.

Good luck anon, I hope you can shed these crude stereotypes of women you have, else you'll do what so many men have done and block out the ideal woman for you purely on the fear she might be this PUA straw(wo)man you trawl /adv/ to selectively validate.

Like you I'm imperfect, I fucked up and I admitted that(had you read the thread I'd not have to reiterate) I wouldn't have if I had had some external input to tell me I was being paranoid, impatient and horrible.

I apologise for losing my temper with you as I know, to be on /adv/, you have to be suffering with something yourself and to ridicule it was cruel. I hope you make it through whatever that something is anon.

>>17505545
>>17505555

I'm gonna try and persuade him to keep it to special occasions because of how unpleasant it is... If not I'll say what you guys are saying, namely that I won't fully be able to assure as much effort to keeping it a perfect experience for him.

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>>17504974
>water enema to clean yourself out
>do that multiple times until the water comes out crystal clear
>lube up
>start slow, work up to getting a full sized dildo up there
>make sure whatever you use has a flared end so it doesn't get stuck
>if you feel pain at any point, ease off and try again slower
>once you have the full length inside, just sit there for 10 minutes

Works for me every time. I already had some practice by the time I figured it out though, so no guarantee, I guess. Anal is something that needs a lot of practice for most people.

There's always warming up though, it's not something that anybody can just jump into.

posting the obligatory guide.

I remember you.
Kill yourself.

>>17504974
>Made clear to my husband I didn't expect anything in the divorce settlement more than a little help until I get a job
>A LITTLE HELP

You should receive nothing. You deserve nothing.

>>17505262
>If, whilst I'm trying to make amends for fucking up, he's sleeping around?
he was working while you were sleeping around

>>17504974
>that lead me to an affair
lol stop reading right there

>>17506680
>>17506685
>>17506688
>>17506770
>>17506773
>>17506780

This is great, thanks!

>>17504974
before we go on girl, give me a picture of you, so I can see what I'm working with, and advice will come.

how old u?

>>17506985
Did you really expect this to work?

>>17507005
??? why wouldn't it? a clothed picture obviously

>>17507005
doing anal won't revive her marriage, it'll just quench his thirst for sex, but if your entire marriage (I dont know how long, and I don't know how old you are, and how you look) comes down to sex, you got other issues there. you're not fighting to make your man horny here, you're fighting to keep him, I wanna help, but I gotta know if you look like a horse, or if you're a beautiful lady. if you're beautiful, then something's really fishy here etc etc. just stop being a malicious motherfucker.

>>17507010
With all the absolute -hate- I'm getting on these threads?

Besides, how would a clothed picture help you give me advice?

Forget it, here's your (You).

>>17507020
????????????????
>>17507016
this???? I even explained it. wtf is wrong with u people? I came in here wanting to give advice but u dont even want advice, seems all u want is to argue with eachother. fine, handle it yourself then.

>>17507061
>inb4 OP takes the bait and gets doxxed by /adv/'s /r9k/ contingent

>>17507020
>With all the absolute -hate- I'm getting on these threads?
I think you should know the answer.

>>17507074
if op is dumb yea... delete exif data before you post the picture... god damn it, fuck you people, I'm just tryin to be nice here.