help me save my gf, /adv/

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she's in a really shitty situation because she's starting her final year in high school(we're not American) which means she should be studying for the final exams but because of her condition getting worse she's been having serious problems with concentration, literally can't focus on anything if she tried and her mother keeps being abusive, putting her down, sometimes outright sabotaging her education while also demanding that she does well in school. she put her on another 'hunger' on Thursday, today she fainted several times and that fucking wench not only didn't give a shit about it, she also hit her because the lawnmower broke when she(gf) was using it and now the grass can't be mown until Monday.

her siblings are much older than her(10-20yrs) and fucked off hundreds of kilometres away long ago. they're like strangers to her. I'm really the only person she has, the only one she can't depend on. when I was still in high school we'd meet literally every day, hang out at my place because she could always rest and study in peace there. she could always find warmth in my home. but now I'm moving away for uni(only about 30km but still) and we won't be able to see each other so frequently, I won't be able to take her in after school so she could rest. when she finishes school, she's planning to move in with me, find a job, out uni off a bit, save up some money because she literally has nothing and even if she manages to save up a little, her mother takes it from her if she wants.

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when this happens, when she'll finally be out of that hell, we'll most probably manage. sure, it won't be easy but at least she won't be in that toxic environment.

but the problem is, she feels already she's on her last legs. I support her however I can but I honestly don't know what I can do. she doesn't want outside help(as in, from my parents) because she doesn't want to be a burden. I've spent months trying to convince her, all for nothing.

I honestly have no idea what to do, /adv/.

that's basically the outline of the situation. sorry if it's a bit rambly, I'm very sleepy. if you want more details - ask.

You are adults. Leave.

Other people leave their homes under worse conditions.

Gf is an adult. Why is she not employed or on the dole or whatever?

You can't have a solution in proximity to toxic people. She must leave, end of story, time to grow up and haul ass far away.

>>17503823

she's still in school anon and if she wants to ever do something more than working the cash register, she needs to finish it. she would also need to work for herself to pay the rent and bills at the same time. we live in a somewhat poor region of the country, the economy is shit and moving out this early without a skill that would bring you lots of bux is a death wish

>>17503839
I dunno OP i think that>>17503823 has a point. The main thnig in my opinion is to be away of that toxis situation, if going away is not an opinion, maybe staying away from home the max time as posible, go there to sleep and lunh only maybe.

Trying to fix or making her parents do better parenting is usless. The both have enough shit by their own, you cant consider your GF or yourself to deal with it. There are a lot of parents that not only are absolutely not good-parenting their children, but hurting them like this.

She doesn't own them anything, so she shoulg go on her own and start again. Family is the ones you care about, not the blood you come from (i say this because many people consider that you have to care about your family, and it isn't true, there are two people that because of life circumstances go along and have children but dind'tdo good parenting, but the oposite.)

I think that she should leva as soon as posible, meanwhile, stay out of that shit.

>>17503875
>She doesn't own them anything, so she shoulg go on her own and start again. Family is the ones you care about, not the blood you come from (i say this because many people consider that you have to care about your family, and it isn't true, there are two people that because of life circumstances go along and have children but dind'tdo good parenting, but the oposite.)
see, I agree with you. parents who harm their children like that are no parents. the problem is, my gf is also religious and still loves and feels empathy towards her mother because of how much she's suffered and sacrificed for her children earlier and always says that it is her mother after all. even after she moves out, she doesn't want to cut her off completely.
I know after she moves in with me I'll make sure she has as little contact with her as possible but right now she doesn't have any means to move out whatsoever.

>>17503875
And also finding a way of making her to purge all that shit out of her.

Some poeple do art, linke painting, express theirselves through art, music, sculpture... others like to admire thar art, because somehow identifies themselves with that art and like it, it purges.

Doing sports is also a very healty thing to this, it releaves.

i myselve, listen to metal and do boxing sometimes. It's important to be healthy outside and mentaly.

>>17503885
I repond to that now, i only forgot that to say on last post

>>17503893
she's beyond the point where it would help. used to write poems but hasn't written any in months.
I think it's the problems with concentration.

>>17503839
>moving out this early without a skill that would bring you lots of bux is a death wish

That's the excuse of everyone who stays trapped in shit until it consumes them.

If she can enlist then she should do that. Worked great for my wife and many other women.

When your shit is in the wind, you ACT or you fail. Excuses aren't actions. Fuck doing what you like, do the SMART thing whatever that may be and don't look back.

>>17503906
those aren't excuses, you'll have to take my word for it.

>>17503885
I know. Many people, has this need to take care of their "close ones". And i don't say it's necesarily bad, i'm saying that just because you have same blood, it doesn't necesarily link you to them.

I think you shold talk to her an try tomake her understand; that her home, not only her parents, but the house, their parents behaviour, the day by day it's harmfull for her and she needs to get away from that, it's like if you have food poisoning and get eating more and more, you'll get worse.

If she loves her mother it's ok, some people have some issues with their family and after some time they get along.

I think you should tke her out sometime and make her smile, that would do good for her, to be at some place with pepole that cares like you.

And make her think that if she is moving out whith you, she wil stay at home as something temporaly (right?) she only has to go through that only an amount of time. Try to survive until then. Concentration will come when her mind is better (whith less shit from home i mean :P) "Mens sana in corpore sanno"

>>17503916
thanks for the advice, anon. I already do most of that but it's getting really bad. she knows her family is fucked up and has no chance of being normal ever. she knows she has to get away from it all but at the same time she doesn't want to leave her mother all alone(well, with her father but that doesn't count). I tink it's become more of a compassion thing than blood bonds. the woman is old and in poor health, with tons of regrets and sacrifices.
she(gf) knows it's only a couple of months left but it doesn't bring relief. I spend as much time with her as I can but I'm moving out soon and won't be able to see her more than once a week. I really hope she can hold out long enough so I can take care of her

>>17503924
Dude, first her, then maybe she could arrange things for her mother or maybe her father (but alcoholism is most difiult thing to get away cause of social acceptance, but not imposible, my father already has been 6 years clean, so hope on!)

Also later on, when you two are on your own, she should go to visit a psicologist, to treet her posibly personality issues derivate form this family situation.

My best hopes and wishes to you two! Hope it gets better the story.

>>17503934
thanks anon. she's said several times that she wants to seek treatment when she's out of there