does every relationship become like this?

>>17503403

i know nothing about this new girl in regards to sex/views on sex but i can only imagine it would be an improvement over this debacle that i currently call a sex life. the issues we have in bed are due to both of us. i have really bad PE (we're talking 30 seconds before i have to take a break) which makes penetrative sex a fucking joke which i feel terrible about. my gf is also a bit of a deadfish so i have a lot on my plate when we have sex. my gf tried birth control early into the relationship and lasted a week and a half before deciding to get off of it because she didn't like the side effects (despite being told and knowing that the side effects do subside after a few months) which complicates matters. she also doesn't enjoy giving oral sex so she just doesn't do it which disappoints me greatly. i've expressed to her how her being on birth control would be helpful and asked her to try and tough it out and see how she feels. i also expressed how important oral sex is to me and that it's something i want in our relationship. she agreed to work on both of these things 3 months ago. it doesn't come as a surprise to me that she has made zero effort in both of these departments. it has been three months of excuses. this is the third time we've had this discussion and probably the last time i'll ask about it.

i don't know. i don't know if slowly being unhappier with your relationship/partner is just how things go naturally and that i have to work through it? all relationships are going to stagnate somewhat. you can't be infatuated forever and i know that. "the grass is always greener" feeling is going to persist and i understand everyone goes through that but how do i discern from me being unhappy with a relationship/partner to the false allure of a fantasy? is that just how longer relationships are? you tolerate and compromise and stay slightly unhappy about some things? this is foreign territory for me so i'd appreciate insight.

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please help

>>17503572
Wouldnt be surprised if your girl is getting dicked down by somebody else desu nothin worse than a pe. And stop being such a pussy either leave her or dont life always go on best believe that

>>17503406
The oral sex bit was hilarious. I can just imagine you standing there, arm's crossed, going "tsk, tsk, still won't suck my cock? How disappointing!" Clearly your gf fails to appreciate the importance of sucking cock.

>>17503403
>>17503406
Sounds like you want to leave her. Don't be delusional about the new girl though, the grass is always greener. If you're worried that your relationship is shit now and you don't know if it will ever get better, yes that is completely normal for all relationships ("good" or "bad"). As for the PE jerk off before hand and take a pill if you can't get it up after that. Usually getting head also helps getting it up for a second show, but I guess that's not so good for your situation.

>>17503598
i don't want either of us to turn to infidelity which is why i'm trying to figure this out. it's just uncommon that i find a girl willing to tolerate my shortcomings so i don't have much experience with relationships and how they pan out over time.

>>17503614
obviously i'm missing oral sex for the pleasures of oral sex but it's more than that: she doesn't want to do it cause she doesn't like doing it despite knowing it's something i want. i figure that if you value your partner that you would make sacrifices for them. i don't see her doing that for me in any department.

i understand she's self-conscious about being bad at oral but i don't understand how she expects to improve if she never does it. what's worse is that she makes promises about making an effort but chooses not to. the amount of times i've heard "i've got a sore throat babe, sorry" is infuriating. i remind her that she has had a sore throat for the past year and a half and maybe she should seek out an ENT.

>>17503697
i think i want to leave her. i don't think things will improve much in our sex life. i'm worried that i'm making a mistake cause she's a sweet person and there are lots of things that i love about her but certain parts (important parts) of the relationships are such a letdown. i feel like i'd be happier taking a risk with this new girl and finding out she's fucked up than staying somewhere that i know i'll be unhappy.

the round two thing we've tried a few times but it never worked out how we wanted. i think the last time we tried, we started fucking and within 40 seconds i'm feeling like i want to bust. it's a joke.

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>talking to friends about how i was considering leaving my gf
>used analogy that i loved my job but if a better one came my way i'd take it
>couple weeks later she actually breaks up with me
>still think about her every day

think v carefully op, its easy to take what you have for granted when it becomes normal. give it a lot of thought, i really miss my ex :(

>>17503917
she has been picking up on me being a bit distant. i'm worried that she's worrying. she tends to let her imagination get the better of her hence the issues with anxiety.

again, i'm trying to figure this out but it's constantly in the background when i'm with her and she has noticed. it's not like i've been trying to hide it per say, just distracted.

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>>17503922
keep contemplating it, it's the only thing you really can do. but just ask yourself, do you love her? does she love you? do you see a future with her? would you be okay with never talking to her ever again? do you depend on her emotionally? is the sex good? do you guys have fun together?

these are all things to consider because if you leave you won't have any of this (at least with her anymore). like i said, it's real easy to take what you have for granted when it becomes normal. you probably see her often. i'd either see each other less, do more cute date stuff to spice it up, or mix it up in the bedroom.