Getting my life back on track

>>17500936
(cont.)

I still have a picture of us in my bedroom and I don't know what to do with it, I have so many pictures of us in my phone and yet I just avoid them, I don't delete them, nor do I look at them, just avoid them.

I guess that's the end of my venting (?).

Thanks to anyone who reads this and can offer some advice.

>>17500943
Stop thinking you are above 4chan and get rid of everything that reminds you of her.

>>17500966
I am not above 4chan. I am a user in 4chan.
What I mean about what I said is that I know that most people don't give 2 shits and abuse their anonymous status to not offer decent advice and just bash other people's threads.

It gets better over time.

Remember to think of her as a human being who is flawed. If you saw what you thought was a 10/10 perfect human female specimen, literally the second incarnation of Helen of Troy who loves your hobbies and your personality, would you not go for it just because you had a girlfriend? Maybe you wouldn't, but sometimes you can't blame others for doing so. They're only selfish humans, like you and me.

What you should realize is that this is a small part of your life and of hers - you'll get over it, as will she. But like anything between humans, it has only as much of an effect on you as you allow it. Her pictures don't have any power over you, they're just data. Put them in a folder on your computer, stash it away labeled "girlfriend stuff circa 2016" and consider it history. Trash physical reminders, there's really no need for those. "Aw gee, I sure like being reminded of pain and suffering when I wake up in the morning," said no healthy person ever. Go out and do something unrelated to girls to get your thoughts off of it. Videogames and the ol' cum on your own face trick are a temporary respite that won't make you a functioning interpersonal being.

Kinda the same thing happened to me three months ago. We had two very happy years together, she broke up with me and got with someone else a month later. I fell into depression, it was such a surreal situation and I simply couldn't handle it. Still want her back to a degree, but I'm doing better now.

Take all the pictures and other stuff related to her, put it in a box and lock it away for now. Seeing those things on a daily base will destroy you. You said you have pictures on your phone, put them on an external drive so you're not ever tempted to look at them.

Try to not relive those happy years in your head again and again. It was a great time, and be assured that she probably loved you a lot. I'm saying this because lots of men are struggling to find closure because of they keep questioning that. You've seen this movie, now start looking forward. That si the heardest part because your mind will try to drag you through these memories again and again. Fight. It's the worst thing you could do.

Even though you will probably have heard this many times by now: Keep living your life. Pursue new interests and meet new people. It's the most mundane sounding advice in the world, but it's the only thing you can do while time takes care of the rest. You said you are becoming a version of yourself that you despise. It's good you recognize that, it means you can fight. Talk to people about how you feel and I'm sure your friends will do their best to keep you distracted. Keep yourself occupied, and don't let your heart tell you that's no use. As soon as you're surrounded with people, you will forget how hurt you are right now. Avoid being alone! Playing vidya is fine if you enjoy it, but don't overdo it.

I know the thought of your ex with someone else is agonizing. That's why you need to avoid it, as hard as it is. It's a situation you cannot change right now, people have sex and get intimate. If you treated her well, rest assured that she's probably off worse now.

cont.

>>17500999

You asked how to not feel insecure in your next relationship. Well, that something I strill struggle with, but here are some articles I found very helpful. Try reading them, it's a great site.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/moving-heartbreak-happiness-work-pain/

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/coping-with-loss-and-heartbreak-how-to-get-through-the-pain/

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-ways-let-go-open-love/

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/9-ways-to-release-your-limiting-beliefs-to-find-love-again/

Especially the last one relates to your question very well.

>>17500986
Thanks for the words! Rationally I do not condone her for doing it. I wouldn't want her to stick with me while craving for someone else. I just feel depressed about how I was replaced with someone else, my ego has been damaged I'd say.

I know I should focus on picking up new hobbies and distract myself from that, but I need to study and that involves a lot of home time, and home is a good nest to nurture depression.

>>17500999
Thank you a lot, it's good to hear about this from someone in a similar position.
I'll do what you said about the picture as it seems like the most logical thing to be done at the moment.

I am trying to keep living my life, I've gone on a week road trip with some friends and then attended a music festival for another week, it kept me distracted and I had fun. It's just the aftermath, now that I am home with not so much to do, things get harder.

>>17501018
Thank you for sharing those, I'll start reading them right now.

>>17501026

Maybe study with others at the uni library? That way, you wouldn't be completely alone.

I hope I was able to help you somehow, I'm still struggling myself and reading your post, it was like something I could've written myself not too long ago.

Take your time with everything, you can't force it anyway. Take a litle time to cry if you need to as well, it can have a soothing effect. At some point, you will feel yourself caring less and less, like no longer thinking about her immediately after waking up etc. If that happens, let go. It's a hard decision to make because it feels like "forgetting" (meaning "everything was wasted yadda yadda", which is definitely untrue), but the memories will stay and one day soon, you'll be able to recall them without the pain that is attached to them right now.

We've all been there, but ultimately you will have to fight yourself everyday somehow in order to not keep falling into the same holes again and again. And you'll come out stronger for sure. The hurt shows how much you cared, and that's a good thing! If you were capable of such honest love, you will feel as strongly for someone else again.

Good luck, anon.
(And sorry for rambling like this, just hit way too close to home. I really feel you, bro and wish I could help you more)

>>17501058
Yeah, I guess I'll leave home and study in the library. That seems to me like the best idea at the moment in terms of productivity.

I've read everything you sent me word by word and I am grateful you sent all those links to me and took the time to help someone who you don't know.

I do feel better, I feel like time is mending the damage but sometimes I still let the past caught up with me in a bad way.

You have helped me a lot. Once again, thanks for taking the time to write all of this, it made my night. I wish you the best in life

File: male blind01.jpg (39KB, 500x750px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 500x750px

>>17500936
Print out the phone photos of her, all of them.

Delete the digital copies, ALL OF THEM.

Grab some buddies, if you have any, or go alone - to a place where you can have a fire. Campsite, some shit like that.

Make a big ol' fire. Burn her in effigy.

Move on.