My girlfriend wants to go to college parties without me. She

>>17500703
Shit, most likely.

>>17500703
she might properly love you and all but when people drink things happen..

The real question is, are you close enough to be going with her? if so and she said she doesnt wanna go with you.. thats some code red defcon 5 shit.

if your like half way across the country, then let her go man, you cant expect her to not have a good time becuase your not there. She may cheat, she may not. If your THAT worried about it, the you should probably break up anyway.

>>17500720
This nigga's got it right.

>>17500720
Im only about 40 minutes away. Luckily I can go to most of them, but I'm sure they'll be a few that I can't. She wants to go to one next week and I may not be able to go with her. She also said she would keep in constant contact with me via Snapchat. That would make things a lot less worrisome if she actually does.

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>>17500745
>40 minutes away
I would just let her have her fun, man. Not even talk to her while she's there. If she cheats then leave.

When questions like this are posted I see a lot of posts falling to one of two camps;

"if she loves you she won't cheat, don't worry"

Or

"If you think she'll cheat it's not love and get rid of her"

From my experience, from fucking relationships up by being too hard, or suffering unhappy ones for being a sap. I've found one thing; the truth is that humans aren't one thing all of the time. She may love you, and you may love her, but in the moment and under the right circumstances all of us have the ability to do things we know we shouldn't be doing. I've done it, and girls I've genuinely loved have done it. The real question is this, do you love her enough to accept that both of you are gonna fuck up. That the love you have will survive those fuck ups.

Sometimes you find somebody that truly, you want to be with forever. That those small fuck ups will become small things and the bond you have will trump your joint history. Do you honestly, when you ask yourself, believe that it's worth it. You will never find a relationship that is perfect, just one that means enough to keep going. One that inspires you, and makes you better, that makes you feel something.

I've spent ten years fucking girls that make me feel nothing. That as soon as they're sleeping and I'm left wide awake I feel that void. The void of having that love and losing it for small reasons. Reasons that seem big at the time.

But trust me, if you have it, even if you fuck somebody else, or she does. If there's a discretion that seems like the world's biggest obstacle. In ten years, when you cut that person out of your life you'll still feel it. In every moment you're not distracted you will be crushed by the weight of all your failures. Take the shot if it's worth it. A lifetime of happiness for some short term emotional distress.

I'm 39 now, and in all the moments I'm alone I see the face of the girl I could've been with still on the face of every cheap fuck I take to get those feelings back.

>>17500745
She never said she doesn't want to go with you though right?

Also if your talking about keeping constant contact via snapchat, just look at this from the outside in... it looks very very unhealthy. I don't want to discourage you or make you feel like you have to break up or anything. But I mean this is crazy dude. And as the anon said before when people drink shit happens, and furthermore (I assume you guys are 18-22).. Younger people have issues with this more often. Esp. in situations where they are now freely on their own and this is shit for the first time. Its just something to think about. I'm not saying its not possible but I mean I guarantee that at least once one of you guys will black out from drinking, and that alone is gonna make one of you guys lose your minds, because of how unhealthy this looks already.

pro tip if your a youngin - relationships like this never last, trust is super important and giving space is up there too. A small thing is going to explode into something insane. Don't go looking for questions you don't want the answers too.

>>17500784
She said I can go to any party with her. She wants me to. She's been totally transparent with me before about everything. All her friends don't drink, they said they'd watch her really closely to make sure she's safe.

>>17465145

Don't let her.

>>17500850
All her friends are girls btw.

Honestly, just let her do what she wants.

If she cheats, then you would be proven right, then you would break up.

If you decide to be a control freak, you might prevent cheating from happening, then you would break up.

Both routes lead to a break-up, but in the first scenario, at least you get to say "Ha! I told you so!"

Telling your girlfriend what she can or can't do is very unhealthy. Also, controlling other people is what women do. You're not a woman, are you, OP?

Don't hold her back from having a good time, she will eventually resent you for it. No college student wants to sit alone in their dorm while their friends are out partying, just because their boyfriend doesn't trust them.

>>17500964

This.

I lost my HS sweetheart this way, a long time ago. She wanted to go party with her new college friends. She wanted to go to fucking frat parties with them. I was like, "wtf? don't do that shit, aren't we a couple?"

The bottom line is, girls go to college to experience new things, new people, etc. You are a fucking anchor around her neck. Why isn't she driving 40 minutes to see you on the weekends? Because being a new girl at college, including drinking, and possibly someday fucking a whole new slew of guys, sounds way cooler to her.

The bottom line is, you cannot stop her. The suggestion to constantly snap chat you is about the lamest, most beta thing I've ever heard, btw.

I understand what you're going through. It sucks.


I think all you can tell her is to have a good time, but that the thought of it all makes you extremely jealous. The thought of other guys getting to chat with your girl while you are stuck somewhere else drives you up the wall.

If she likes the idea of you being jealous of her, great. If she reacts badly to it, she's already planning on fucking someone else, she just hasn't told you yet.

If you want to keep her, you need to hang out with her and be cooler than whatever else was going on. What's in front of her is a brand new cock carosel. Are you more appetizing than all of that?

Probably not.

Also, if she is going to parties with friends who are single, that's fucking cancer.

>>17500703
if your gf wants to cheat she doesn't need a party or drink for it to happen. Mine fucked a coworker at a job she had for 5 weeks. She would tell me she was working or had a long shift and they would go to his apartment. By her choice we did everything together except work together.