Fuck Everything Right Now

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Sounds like an addiction problem. I wonder what caused her to self medicate......

Either way you are being dragged down. I would prepare to move on as this will get worse on her end.

>>17498111
Probably dump her, her life is going into a bad direction not necessarily your fault. You don't want to get caught up in it. To fix is see why she is drinking and to make her stop.

>>17498131
>>17498131
She's been struggling with depression. She's on medication & used to see a therapist, but neither seem to help. Earlier this week, she said she was drinking because we got in an argument. I'm not sure why tonight, because we got along fine & even planned on spending some time together tomorrow.

>>17498134
How can I make her stop? We've discussed this a lot. She even promised earlier in the week that it wouldn't happen again. I threatened to dump her. I'm questioning if she even gives a fuck anymore, despite the fact she always tells me how much she loves me.

>>17498140
She probably does, but she can't handle her emotions. Its like shaking a soda can. It looks normal, but when you open inside its ready to blow.

>>17498150
You're way more compassionate and understanding than I am. I still don't know what I can do to help her or stop this from happening. I'm worried that she'll drink too much and fall down or hurt herself or something. It's gotten to the point where I can't sleep unless I know she's safe in bed. Now I'M starting to feel like the crazy one. This whole thing is fucked and I hate it.

>>17498171
It's a hard situation, ask for advice from others that you know. Show that you care for her. Maybe what she needs is something you don't want to do. Maybe it's a phase? Depression is usually accompanied by doing the same thing everyday that is unfulfilling. Do new stuff and get her into a new things. It depends how well you can handle your own emotions if you want to change her. It's going to be hard if you already have trouble with it now, but it might be worth it. It depends how much you think the relationship is worth.

>>17498140
Ah. Well there we go. So if meds and therapy aren't working, she doesn't want to face whatever emotional trauma she is avoiding. People self medicate to avoid feeling or facing things.

Unfortunately you cannot make her stop. She is attempting to avoid dealing with a difficult and emotional issue, something which you cannot "fix". Only she can do that. You can be supportive or listen to her, but in the end if you are emotionally compromised as well (since you're dating her) then you will be dragged down as well.

Mind you, emotions cannot be reasoned with, they are felt, not thought out. So promises, or commitments will come 2nd to strong feelings especially when someone is hurting on the inside and attempting to escape dealing with it.

If you do not want to be dragged down (as willing as I'm sure you are to help), you may have to leave her. Exit the situation. The truth being that if she doesn't want help, you will not be able to do anything. You can always leave your door open to hear her out, but you have to life your life too.

The time, effort, and emotional currency you'd have to spend only just to suffer next to her while she avoids working on this would waste away your life and may even enable her to continue to avoid dealing with hers.

>>17498187
She just moved, got a new job, and got a new pet. I don't think change is going to help here. I used to think the relationship was worth anything, but I spend more time sad or upset than happy with her these days.

>>17498194
She's had depression on & off since she was a kid. I don't think it was one specific bit of emotional trauma she's trying to work through - it's probably just her whole life or something she's stuck with or fuck I don't even know I'm not a doctor.

Thanks for listening to me rant and offering advice. Seriously, the world needs more people like you. I guess I'll just have a calm, rational chat with her tomorrow about the drinking. Maybe that will help me figure out what to do next. Either way, if this thread is still up, I might come back & let you guys know how everything worked out.

Thanks again, dudes.

In a similar situation so I won't start a new thread:

Recently been noticing the gf has been drinking more. I mean it was normal for her to have a drink or two after work cause she gets stressed out and just wants to sit and relax after work. Now its gone from 1-2 to 2-4 or more. On her days off it revolves around doing whatever chores she's put off and then how soon can we go out and have drinks. And we usually end up bar/restaurant hopping for the remainder of the night. I used to partake until about 6 months ago when I just stopped cause I didnt want to risk my license and job security for a DUI.

anyway in the last month or two, she has literally missed maybe 5-6 days of not drinking and thats mostly because the bars are closed when she gets off work so she can't get a drink. Last night even she had 2 stressful nights at work and blew off steam by drinking 2 pitchers to herself which is a lot for a lot of people and this is the middle of the week. She gets pretty mean and emotional when she's drinking too, almost hysterical sometimes when she's destressing about her day.

I dont know how to bring it up with her, i've tried before and subtly tried to cut back her drinking but something will happen and she'll run for a beer to cope.