So tired

>>17491921
Huh? Am I missing something here? Why don't you just tell the doctor about how her new prescription is ruining both of your lives and get her on something else.

>>17491963
Are you a wizard?

>>17491963
She switched my wife from one med to Prozac. Most docs are all about antidepressants being a cureall, the VA kept bumping my paxil dosage when I was going through my shit.

>>17491970
Not him, but you didn't answer his question.
>Why don't you just tell the doctor about how her new prescription is ruining both of your lives and get her on something else.

>>17491973
For one I did, she also did. I was shrugged off by the doc, when she called and said the same basic thing in front of me. The doc just switched her to a different one. Sorry if not clear, 13th day straight of graves. Wasn't kidding about being tired.

>>17491979
Wow. Sounds like a shitty Doctor. The Doc is pretty much ruining a good marriage and she doesn't give a shit. Did you try getting a new Doc that isn't an asshole?

>>17491979
Also. Why did she switch from Xanax in the first place?

>>17491988
It's her company doc, welcome to the world of antidepressants being the solution to any issue even if your old meds worked fine. I don't have any control over who she's seeing as a doc, she's just dead to everything and everyone. Even when I'm supportive or a friend is, the rift between her and life grows. She just works and sleeps.

>>17491992
Had to get her rx reupped, is on Kaiser plan with company so she's stuck with this doc.

>>17491979
>I was shrugged off by the doc
This is wrong in so many levels.

>>17491997
Not really, I'm not the one paying them nor am I the patient. It's a sad fact, she won't prescribe xanax because it's 'addictive' yet the other rxs are as well.

>>17491994
Sorry if I'm coming off as redundant, but have you literally told the doctor that Xanax worked just fine? If so, that's really fucked up if the Doc is that much of a pos.

>>17492002
Nvm. You answered this. So sorry dude. Don't really have any advice for this. It's just really fucked

>>17492008
No worries, I'm more concerned about her being well. If she wants divorce, I'm fine with it. She's just a husk to everyone now

>>17492002
This might be bad advice. But get angry with the doctor. Be a little forceful. Maybe make a little bit of a scene. Fight hard for your woman. Don't go quietly when it seems like so much is at stake.

>>17492013
>Veteran
I don't think showing aggression to a doctor is a good idea man.

>>17492015
I'm not saying make a death threat, but just show a little passion. OP has been with his wife close to 8 years. If he truly feels that she was/is the only thing preventing him from being a statistic I feel like she deserves one last real try.

>>17491994
Couldn't she just switch companies? I'm not familiar with this kind of thing.

Well since these doctors are willing to give you all kinds of drugs to keep you 'happy'...
Try LSD, ayahuasca and MDMA. Just make sure you have someone you trust to trip sit with you. Research it beforehand etc, be safe.

Can change your perspective on things, just be smart about it.

>>17492029
I am OP, trust me I'm fine in terms of not becoming an hero. It's a matter of doing what's right to get her back to normal. I live in California, if I sneeze in a doctor's direction I'm fucked.

>>17492012
>If she wants divorce, I'm fine with it
She just want divorce because the meds.
Are you retreating, soldier? Who gave that order?

>>17492035
Her panic attacks make it impossible, I went on a bit of a journey a few years back and it helped me though. Wish she could relax and let it do same for her. Being numb isn't happy, just call them 'happy pills' because that's how they are portrayed

>>17491921
This pisses me off. I understand as a vet you need and deserve all the help you can get but the pharmaceutical companies along with the doctors have ruined so many lives, enriching themselves in the process, by over prescribing, unnecessarily prescribing or prescribing the wrong drug, many of which the side effects are much more harmful than the problem. Been where you are OP and unfortunately she's gone for good. These doctors are just lazy fucks and pill pushers.

>>17491970
should get into meditation, and philosophy. anti depressants dont change the way a person thinks or offer a permanent solution. i have been depressed and on the verge of suicide but i done shit that i knew would help change my mind set and make me happy.

>>17492042
It's a matter of doing what's right, fixing her is more important than my happiness. She did the same for me, I'm trying to drag her ass up and get her squared away. The bitch saved my fucking life, none of my brothers were there during those times. I owe a debt that cannot be repaid, all I can do is keeping fighting to square her the fuck away. It's fucking painful to think of divorce, but getting her face out of the sand is more important. Love is fucking weird like that, I'd gladly let her go if I know she'll be better off. In her state right now, I can't. 'I can't imagine life without you', is a cry for help. She's in there somewhere, lost in the fucking darkness like I was. All I can do is fucking search, the same horrible void I was trapped in for years.

>>17492056
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-0ETX4z_DU give this a watch

>>17491921
Hey buddy email me at [email protected]

>>17492061
Thanks

>>17492062
Inboxed

>>17492064
welcome. hope it helps.

>>17492070
I'll watch on my break tonight, I'm nodding off at this point of sleep deprivation

Serious answer here OP
Get her to stop taking he anti depressants and get her some cannabis

>>17492043
I'm not a doctor obviously but lots of girls get panic attacks for various things. Sometimes i honestly think people need to make themselves panic more and push themselves more so that regular life isn't so scary. Taking up something genuinely scary (amateur boxing, some other stressful, scary or extreme) i think would help. Food for thought, good luck

>>17492123
Great idea, but she does psych work. Job won't allow.

>>17492143
I hated crowds, used that tactic and it worked. Hers are pretty random, usually related to severe claustrophobia. She's bad about psyching herself into them.

>>17491921
She is NOT stuck with the one doctor. She is stuck with the one doctor if she uses this insurance plan. This would very much seem like a case in which it would be worthwhile to pay your own way, even at obscenely high costs.

If she's worth saving - and you make her sound like she is - then she's worth going into hock for.

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Sorry about shooting down most of the ideas so far, I've tried the majority and they failed. The drug one's can't fly because of her job. I just wanted to stress I do sincerely appreciate the help. I just want her back to normal with or without me, I messaged her listing off moments I knew she was happy with me and also moments she had happiness without me present. No response yet, I don't really care if I get one from her. I know remembering things like that started the spark that gave me drive again for life in general. I'm not on her tit, and am supportive of the rare times she does go anywhere. She loved belly dance and recently started teaching at her studio again, I was fucking jazzed. Then I got a message that no one showed up for the class. Man I'm tearing up about it still, I wanted to fucking throat punch those girls for leaving her high and dry. I never have been that angry. Couldn't sleep so I'm hitting the bottle (maxing out at 4 shots, just out of my Melatonin and Tylenol pm) sorry if typos have a pic of her a few months back.

>>17492165
Unless they do regular blood tests they wont know as long as she doesn't use it long before work

>>17492197
She's using debt as an excuse, that's a Damn good idea though man. I've been budgeting and wehave 1500 a month to pay down shit, currently 6 grand in debt. That's still a go to, but I want her out of this hell sooner. If her job was more lax, I'd just buy it on the street and risk jail.

>>17492215
She's really paranoid about it, she waited years to get a psych job. I gave up moving to Vegas with my gunsmithing company for her life dream, we made $2000 glocks. Her goals were more Nobel to me, so we stayed here. Once she's patched up, if divorce happens they still have a space for me. That job is keeping her together

>>17491921

A girl I used to date was on a large dose of Lithium and had next to no libido and an emotionless robot but I 'insisted' we have sex often, she eventually bean to enjoy it and we had it very often; this took months.

I tried to make her laugh and smile as much as possible and she actually began to respond with laughing and smiling but it took months.

It's a hard battle ahead, comrade.

Don't know what her diagnosis are but Zoloft kills libidos, Lithium kills emotions and libidos, Wellbutrion is good for depression with no sexual side effects, Xanax never gave me issues unless I was taking 4-5 and passed the fuck out, blood pressure medications will fuck with your ability to get an erection (not sure what it does to women).

Valium might be better first since it doesn't hit her so fast, is mild and lasts longer.

Explain what the side effects are with her shrink and see what he says.

>>17492264
The xanax worked great, will try other advice though. Her doc has a fucking hard on for antidepressants, when I was researching I saw wellbutrin. Wife is worried about some shit about some instances of fits of rage on it. At this point she can't even get herself off, it's sad. Imagine if no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get sexual pleasure at all just arousal.

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>>17492309

>She can't even get herself off

It took my girlfriend 2-3 hours of masturbation in order to orgasm; those SSRIs pretty much all have sexual side effects.

Go back to basics and start with what actually WORKED. The Xanax, I would recommend Wellbution for depression but also consider Lamictal.

It's very good for a number of things but it seems to be a hit or miss drug; for me it really turned my life around.

As for the rage, that's what the Xanax is for.

Good luck, comrade; if you truly love her, don't give up. You fight for her even if it looks bleak as fuck and you tell her that.

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>>17492328
Thanks brother, I'm tired but I'm a stubborn bastard. We both are man, our debt should be clear in roughly 3 months so she has no excuse for us not paying for a second opinion. If the relationship isn't salvaged, I can live knowing at least she is living life again and will gladly foot the bill. I only thought the VA was this bad about this shit. I want to get her in therapy honestly, divorce or not I'd foot the bill just because she pushed me to live again. I always tell her she had my back, and she's my 'battle' (she knows the meaning) I'm not giving up on her well being not matter what.

>>17492380

Well you're doing the right thing.

You want to help her but sometimes you need to take a step back and look at the situation for what it is.

Sometimes you can't help or save people.

And if it's costing you your happiness and sanity then you need to let go.

It'll hurt more than anything but you've seen some shit and you deserve to be happy more than anyone.

Either way, you're trying; that's a lot more than most people would do these days.

You'll be alright either way, I promise.

>>17492406
My sanity isn't at risk, I was JFV4 for discharge I already let me destroy me and that's not happening again. She suffered more than I ever did bringing me back from my brink, and I'm not leaving her behind. If I did, I could never live with myself and rightfully so. My happiness won't exist until she is healthy again. I know I'll be ok, the issue is her mental health. The post is more in Helping her than me. I know you can't help everyone, I was in NMCB40 for Katrina. Shit was heartbreaking. No matter my demons, I've always been the first to help even at my worst. My wife was the first person to do the same, I'm not letting her fucking die to the world, her heart has always been in the right place and why we fell in Love. We both are really selfless people, letting her rot is impossible for me we are rare breeds. I'm not trying to get a pity party, but seriously I can endure.

>>17492502
*JFV
Physical condition not a disability
Subtext was anxiety and severe depression