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Help me brainstorm, /adv/.
So gf and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. She absolutely loves me and wants to be in a relationship, but she's terrified of committing. She was in a relationship before where she ended up getting married to a guy she didn't even care for, all because her friends and family and he himself kept pushing her into it and making her feel bad for wanting out.
I want to come up with a solution that solves this problem. She wants to be with me, but doesn't want to feel trapped. She isn't the type to reach out for help, and her whole dilemma is that she doesn't want to hurt people by asserting she doesn't want to be with them, so she'd rather just avoid that situation entirely. I want her to be able to be in a relationship without that fear - any ideas on how I can go about making this a reality?
Pic related. Whole situation is nuts.
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What do you mean 'commit'?
There's nothing you can gain from marrying her.
If the relationship isn't currently monogamous it's not a relationship and you need to look elsewhere.
What else is there?
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>>17488563
Poor choice of words. Sorry. Been a long day, and I want to get this problem solved. Maybe got a bit too eager.
She's afraid of committing to a relationship in general. She feels like, once she's in one, she can't get back out without stomping all over the other person's emotions. It's monogamous, I'm the only one she's into, she's the only one I'm into.
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>>17488567
And what is it you want that she isn't already committed to?
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>>17488572
Let me try taking it from the top. Sorry, I'm not the best at expressing my thoughts in text.
Gf and I *were* in a relationship. We're not now, that wouldn't make sense. The whole reason we separated was that she, while loving me with all her heart and wanting to be together, doesn't want to feel trapped. By trapped, I mean the sense that if she wanted to back out, friends and family might guilt her into staying, or she might feel bad about hurting me in the process. It already happened once to her, so that's why she's so worried about it happening again.
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>>17488572
>>17488600
Fuck I forgot.
I want to be in a relationship again, sure, but I'm not overly concerned about it. I'm concerned that she wants to be with me, but is forcing herself not to be because of such a fear. I think there has to be some sort of solution that solves both parts of the problem, letting her be with me while giving her the comfort of knowing she isn't stuck with me.
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