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Anonymous
Passive Agressnivess 2016-08-21 19:46:45 Post No. 17483878
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Passive Agressnivess 2016-08-21 19:46:45 Post No. 17483878
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tl;dr How to confront people who are passive agressive.
>just been crying for like half an hour because one of my flatmates was so passive agressive to me
>she is a "good" friend of mine since like ages, but is totally talking behind my back
>asked another friend of mine if they should throw me out of the flat (she said no ofc) and i'm just devastated that she would do something like this because I hold her in high regards (now dunno) and i cant comprehend that.
>she's so manipulative as fuck, her mother studied psychotherapy and she knows how to use words and it feels like every time i am losing even more
>don't know how to confront people because I'm not that good with conflicts and rather do the thing I am told to do
>like one time she complained that the scrolling of my mouse was too loud and i should scroll more quietly
>the "conflict" began when I was talking for a whole of 3 minutes with my parents at 11 pm in my room. (she's 2 rooms away) and she wouldn't go out of my room till I hang up.
>we fought and now she holds this vendetta against me for like 2 months
>it's draining me physcially
I don't know how to confront her even If I wanted. like: "i don't find it okay that you talked behind my back about me" and then she "whatevers" me and i feel even more hurt because I care about the friendship. I guess she doesn't. but like, she's part of a group of people I've been together for my whole life. like all my friends and best friends are in there. And I can't just say "Oh, lets not invite her" because I'm not that type of person
How should I go on?
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>>17483878
You leave. There is no reasoning with her. You're willingly letting people shit into your mouth, while you smile and say "thank you, may I please have some more?"
That's pathetic as fuck. MOVE OUT. There are a million other people out there you can live with, who aren't shitheads to you.
Any more excuses you come up with is just you being too dumb to do what it takes to get out of a bad situation. In which case, just stop posting, because you don't want solutions--you want a hugbox.
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>>17483890
Thank you so much, yea I'm trying with apathy now, just let her the fuck do what she wants and if she has a problem that is not reasonable I'll just say no or show her the cold shoulder
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>>17483878
Buy a new mouse, tell her you care about her issues about sound, that you'll make efforts. Then say and that you are really sad about how she behaves with you, because you though you were friends, and it's not how friends behave.
Now that things are settled on your side, any lousy move will be seen as a direct aggression, and she will not receive any support, unless she lies... Then people will find our she lied.
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First off you need a spine. Mine happened after snapping due to work and my family. I finally learned to stand up straight and say "NO".
Also, you can't directly confront passive-aggressive types since they are slimy, slithering cowardly shits. They don't want to be knee-deep in conflict so they dance around it. You can only limit how they affect you and your interactions with them. They want a reaction so you deny. Meditation and understanding these people are pathetic nobodies will help you get over it.
Her having a mom that knows psych is no reason she should have power over you. Words are words and you're giving them power.
I grew up as the only girl in a household of passive-aggressive people, lots of brothers too. You're going to need a spine but what you really need is to get the hell out. It's not worth the toll on your mental health.
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