I have a huge inferiority complex. I impulsively create lies about everything to meet the standards of people asking me about certain social, intellectual, or economic prospects. I just revealed this information to some friends of mine and they were all immediately like "Yeah, we know." I've never felt so displaced in my life. I want to kill myself knowing that they have this knowledge.
Every single person in my life has a different story of my exploits, and I keep track of all them.
I just want to disappear and start again with new people that I can manipulate.
I do also tend to believe that I am inherently better, or more important than those around me. However, this is a deep, deep down sort of feeling that I don't usually vocalize or act on. I sort of don't have too because it's almost like I have nothing to prove, I already know I'm more intelligent than my peers.
Can anyone name this blend of superiority and inferiority complexes? The superiority bit is an extremely minor factor. I usually feel like I am worse than people.
Instead of learning to cope with my problem, what if I moved to an entirely new location and started telling the truth from then on with everyone I met, everything about my past and current self would be the truth. I wouldn't even lie about my inferiority complex. Would this fix me? Would this even be possible? Or would I impulsively alter my self image when I got there and continue to brood in my spare time on how to protect it.
The only options right now seem like suicide or a new start somewhere.
Try imposter syndrome.
Also, every lie you tell adds to the upkeep.
>>17482668
Sorry senpai, but it sounds more like sociopathy than inferiority complex
Seek a psychological help
>>17482668
>I just revealed this information to some friends of mine and they were all immediately like "Yeah, we know."
That's it? Nothing else? I mean, either they're good friends and they knew, but they'll be sort of relieved that you admitted your problem to them, or they're not really your friends and the "Yeah, we know" is more like "Yeah, we know but we don't give a shit because we're not that good friends anyway".
So, what kind of friends are they? It makes a difference if you're contemplating moving away.
>>17482685
I have no idea how to gauge how much they like me or dislike me. I guess it honestly seems like the majority of them don't care about me very much at all. I care about them way more than they care about me in truth (most likely).
>>17482671
This does not seem like me. In college I did get into an argument with a professor about how he thought I had a gifted mind and he wished that I would utilize it, on more than one occasion we would share this argument and I would firmly hold my ground that I was not a smart individual and that notion was dangerous. Other than this one instance, Imposter Syndrome does not seem very applicable to my pathetic life.
Also, I know, the upkeep is insane. I started realizing how fucked up I was when I started writing it all down to remember everything instead of just playing the game in my head. I was finalizing my fake character and how to maintain him on paper and it was strange.
>>17482675
I don't think it's sociopathy, I have morals.
Looks like I'm a Compensatory Narcissist. Yay. Now I can move away and maybe perfect a craft and be happy with the people who I choose to communicate with honestly.