When should a guy give up on trying to get a date?

The was supposed to be a short backstory, not a life-story, story...


Ive known this girl for awhile now, she acts interested, and its known that im interested in her.

Ive asked her out for dinner before, she said sure, she blew me off, not in the good sense of the term either. I was a little hurt but got over it.
>Decided not to ask her again.

Fast forward a roughly a year, about a month ago, and she asks me to hang out, late at night because we have conflicting schedules, on literately the one night a year I can't. Kinda of agree on another day, she gives me her number (prior to this we just talked in person and on via FB), all is well. Text her day of, blows me off again. Figure whatever, maybe she was tired, she worked a 10hr shift.

Text her a few days later asking if she wants to meet for lunch, no reply.
>Decided for a second time, not to ask again.

Saw her last night, at her work, been going there regularly since before she worked there so its not like i'm going there just to see her. She sat with me with her head resting on my shoulder, my arm around her and we talked for awhile.

Go to leave and her is helping another customer, normally i just kind of wave goodbye if shes helping someone, she told me to wait a few, so i did and she came up and gave me a hug (as is normal when shes not helping a customer) and gave me a lighter she painted with hearts and my inital on it, gave me another hug and told me she loves me.

Im trying my damnedest to stick to not asking her out again, because literately three strikes. But fuck its hard for me. Everything points to her being interested in me, friends that know her say shes interested in me, i like this girl, shes smart, funny, and goddamn beautiful, but idk if shes just fucking around with me or not.

hold ground OP.
men asking women out is an outdated cultural convention. When shit goes wrong women have the legal initiative to break contact.

let her initiate contact, you're also assuming a masculine role by keeping/setting boundaries as opposed to being a clingy POS which will eventually get you screwed over.

btw showing up at someones work is stalking which if she's not into you will get you in trouble.

I wouldn't break 3rd strike, everyone is cognoscente of who's court the ball is in.

>>17481998
Okay.

She works at a restaurant, i should have mentioned that. Been a regular there for a long time, had family that worked there and im good friends with alot of the staff. In this case i dont think anyone would consider it stalkerish. Otherwise I would totally agree with that.

I generally give them three strikes and then move on.

>>17482036
I worked for a company for 2 years and quit voluntarily, Dropped in 2 or 3 times to bump elbows with old coworkers.
former boss I think filed a complaint.

Seriously, just be careful OP,
it's really easy to lose face even if it seems mundane to you.

I usually give up on the second try, although I may sometimes go to a third try if I really want a date with her. Nothing more.

If she doesn't make time for you within three tries, she isn't interested and you'll be wasting time (and other potential opportunities) chasing her.

>>17481930
>When should a guy give up on trying to get a date?

1. She flatout rejects you
2. When she passive aggressively rejects you (accepts and then cancels with no attempt to reschedule, just flakes without explanation, or always tries to answer open-endedly)
3. The moment you realize she has a boyfriend
4. The moment you realize she has a stupid tattoo or piercing


When I first started dating girls I'd get hung up for the longest time, not realizing I just need to move on. Getting rejected is okay, and is just a part of the dating process. The sooner you get rejected the better, because it means you can move on to the next girl that much sooner. Rejection helps you find out the qualities you have that women don't like and the qualities you lack. It's all a growing experience really, and you'll laugh off your failures as the years go by.

So the general consensus is don't try anymore.

>>17482064
>1. She flatout rejects you
>2. When she passive aggressively rejects you (accepts and then cancels with no attempt to reschedule, just flakes without explanation, or always tries to answer open-endedly)
>3. The moment you realize she has a boyfriend
>4. The moment you realize she has a stupid tattoo or piercing
5. If you have known her for two weeks (or your feelings changed two weeks ago) and you have not already asked her out.

This is important. If you don't show interest right away, she will assume you aren't interested, and will distance herself as appropriate for the platonic relationship she thinks you want. Once this happens, there is essentially no going back.

>>17482053
>I usually give up on the second try, although I may sometimes go to a third try if I really want a date with her. Nothing more.
Bad move. Give up after the first try, no exceptions. Anything more than once runs too high a risk of being branded a creeper, loudly abd publicly. Reputations die over things like that, and it just isn't worth wrecking your chances not only with her, but with everyone she knows and quite possibly everyone they know.

Try once. Never twice.

If she flat out rejects you, then never again. I generally follow the 3 strike rule. Sometimes women say their busy/make general excuses so IL try to schedule something with them twice. I will only ask them out a third time if I really think there's something there or I really like them.