he chose another girl, /adv/ how do I get over him

>>17481913
Not by whoring yourself out, trust me. Don't try to validate yourself, only makes things worse. Instead, focus on a hobby, activity, gym, school, work, etc. for a bit and better yourself and life before moving on. Eventually you'll find that you are worth more than any scumbag cheater could ever be.

>>17481919
Why do you assume he's a cheater, man hater? He could have simply had feelings for a different girl and declined her.

>>17481919
>>17481922 is how I interpreted OP's post too. OP's just sad that the guy she liked wants to date another girl instead

>>17481919
>>17481922
>>17481929
Sorry for being unclear. We liked each other and things got a bit more serious dating-wise when he broke up with his girlfriend. He decided to go back to her, though and I was essentially too hurt to keep in contact with him after. I don't know if I went about it the right way, but it hurts less like this. I miss him a lot and I shouldn't. I haven't had to deal with this before, I know time is key but how do I stop thinking about him so often?

>>17481939
Don't idolize him. He didn't choose you. He doesn't see you as a mate like he does this other girl. That is reality, and it's not mean. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will get over it. You can't force yourself to like someone who doesn't like you forever, unless you keep deluding yourself that you're something special to him, which you aren't.

Cry for a day or two, then go talk to some new guys and realize there are endless options and possiblities. Someone will like you for who you are, but is not that person, so let it go.

>>17481953
That's true, you're right. I've been trying to forgive him to help myself and move on, but I couldn't find a reason to. I felt so lead on and betrayed. He really made it sound like there would be a "us" very soon. Instead he went back. I guess I can't be upset at him for choosing what he wants and what makes him happy. It would be selfish of me.

Thing is, I keep swinging between "It's his life, he is free to direct it any way he wants. I want to continue being friends with him" and "Screw him, he hurt me, I'm getting over every aspect of him". I am so confused.

>>17481978
I'm in your exact same boat but I'm a guy. I feel so led on while we constantly broke up and got back together as a "thing", when she was just trying to decide her feelings on the other guy.

I just keep thinking of how they're no gold for each other cause hell probably leave her. And if not, I guess I just gotta be happy for her.

I still wish she'd take me back though. Idk how to get over that.

>>17482013
It's so weird how when it's someone else it seems so clear to tell you to leave because it sounds like she's taking you for granted. Yet I can't see so clearly.

>>17481913
Don't settle for less. If he chose another girl guess what? It's his loss. Move along! Now what will you do with this extra time? I'll tell you! Make you 2.0. Work out, get more hobbies, learn stuff. You'll meet new folks on the way. Don't focus on love it grow naturally.

Is it the general consensus that seeking a friendship with him isn't a good idea? I have the upper hand here and it's on me to make that decision since he doesn't have any way to contact me and I already know he wants to keep talking to me badly.

Usually the winning strategy is to break up with him first....

Now you have to get back with him so you can break up with him.

Boo OP

>>17482084
don't worry friend I know how to play. I friend-broke up first.

>>17481913
Distract yourself. Have fun and spend some time doing things just for yourself. Heartbreak sucks, but the more you focus on it, the more depressed you will make yourself

>>17482076
Don't flatter yourself OP,
you guys are not going to be friends,
just go find someone else,
or get a job/go to school/hang out with your dog/explore a new hobby.

The fact that you're still paying attention to him is just validating him.

if it makes you feel any better getting back with your ex is almost guaranteed to fail, that's why you broke up in the first place.

>>17482091
Thanks, the lonely feeling has passed I think. I'm going to stop being anxious over it (hopefully). I've decided I won't hit him up.

Thanks everyone for your help.

>>17481939
Well he was keeping you on the back burner the whole time anyway, why did you get involved with someone in the first place who obviously sees you as just a rebound? Did you really think it was ever serious? Sorry to be harsh but I'm being real here for you OP.