Do I defy my GF?

Paying off debts should be your first priority whenever you come into money. Learn to live within your means - this holiday isn't within your means.

>>17480765
Seems like she's keeping track of debts rather than give to you as a partner, and is using said debt as leverage to talk badly at you.

Tell her to lose the attitude or lose you.

>>17480781
>>17480775

just to clarify, I owe her around 50 more £. I am giving her 200-300 because of her housing predicament at uni (she got put in most expensive accom) even though she didn't want it.

She sees it as me not taking her on a romantic get away (Sees it as me not trying) and choosing my friends

>>17480765
If you owe somebody money and you suddenly obtain some money, then you should pay off your debts. You're an ass for buying things for yourself when you very much owe someone else. And this is common respect for just anyone, let alone your girlfriend. You are acting like a selfish child..

Grow the up and have some adult priorities or realize you aren't mature enough to be in a relationship.

>>17480793
You're taking her with you?

Regardless, you should pay your debts off first and foremost whenever you get money. Live within your means: >>17480775

>>17480793
pay her off completely first and she is right you are choosing your friends over her

>>17480793
Then pay off what you owe her, then do what you want with the rest of it. However, remember that if she's relying on you lending her some money because you said you would and you don't follow through, that's likely to cause resentment.

>She sees it as me not taking her on a romantic get away (Sees it as me not trying) and choosing my friends
Why not plan a weekend away or something nearby? And how much time do you spend with her vs them?

>>17480801
look at you fucking cucks, I have pretty much paid her off, give or take 50 quid. I am offering her EXTRA 200-300 pounds at the start of our uni term yet somehow im an inconsiderate fuck for spending time with some friends abroad

>>17480814
From the way you're talking about her and your relationship, I'm inclined to believe that there are other problems in this relationship other than this money issue.

>>17480801
>>17480799
>>17480795
Not understanding these three. There shouldn't be money business between partners. You take her out sometimes, she takes you out. You buy her stuff, she buys you stuff. It's all part of the relationship routine.

What if he was thinking on taking her somewhere further into the year? He gets to choose when he returns the debt (that I think shouldn't even exist)

>>17480814
You're an inconsiderate fuck for putting your pleasure (this vacation) over your responsibilities and promises to your girlfriend (owed money). It does not matter how much money it is or any promises of presents in the future. This isn't some credit card company you can slough off, but someone who cares for you. And you are actively telling her that your own desires are more important than promises you have made to her, plain and simple.

If you only owe her 50 quid then pay it up, simple as that. Then see where the chips fall.

GROW UP!

>>17480821
Yeah, there has to be.

>>17480824
I agree with this in general. Buit

>>17480824
I agree but it depends on the context. For example, if he went on a trip to london and got 150 from his girlfriend to spend while he was there alone, then she should definitely have the money paid back.

Wathever you want, women love bad boys.
Plus if she breaks up with you dude free money

>>17480765
>>I am repaying her for spending money on me in london
>>paid her around £150
>>planning to give her £200-250 more when we start university term when I get money
If she took you out, you don't owe her money unless you agreed beforehand

>>I am able to do this trip because I get my previous hose deposit money back
>>want to do this because we all head back to uni in September
Then go out and enjoy yourself on a cheap lads holiday

>>she says I use her
>>never make plans with her
Do you?

>>Says I never tried to do something nice for her
>>says if I cant see this then we should break up
Well, let's figure some things out

Do you actively try to see her and win her over in the relationship?

Do you ask her to spend money on you?

Do you agree to go halves on things?

Would you rather go on holiday with your friends than be with your girlfriend?

>>17480838
i wasnt alone. We went together, I went halves for the accomidation. She wanted to eat out and see musicals so my money got shafted fast. Then she continued to pay for odd things here and there, like food and another musical ticket.

We didn't actually calculate the total sum I owed her but she started adding up random taxi fares, drinks, food, toilteries etc and we came to an agreement I will give her £200. I am being honest when I say I havent paid all of that yet.

The money isn't important she sees it as me not WANTING to take her somewhere special like how she booked and organised london.

She thinks I have zero gumption for her. She wants the 'EXPERIENCE' and 'ACKNOWLEDGMENT' from me but like wtf?

Basically she sees it as me spending £300 going with friends (who I dont see often and wont because of uni) on a 5 day trip to spain instead of a pricey as fuck romantic weekend somewhere in the same UK. WHICH I CAN BOOK AT ANYPOINT IN THE NEAR FUTURE

>>17480859
Sounds like your relationship is shitty for other reasons. Whether it be you not acknowledging her, which from how you described it sounds warranted, or she is in need of more affection and attention than you can or want to provide.

>>17480859
when was the last time you took her out/gave her a gift/did something nice

How much clearer does she need to make it? She is literally telling you exactly what she wants. For fucks sake, if you want to be with her, fucking do what she wants. If you think he wants are overbearing, then break up with her.

>>17480879
>>17480868

I spent £40 travelling to see her last week (she lives 4 hour train away) and took her out for drinks at hers. It's not like I havent seen her
recently. Bought her mum stuff too like...

I do acknowledge her. it doesn't seem entirely fair that I am being restricted on going. I will not see these friends for over three months after this and me and her go to the same university.

>>17480888
A whole three-fucking-months? What a selfish cunt!

You, not your girlfriend. Grow the fuck up. You treat your relationship like two people who exchange favors, not a partnership. Your girlfriend might be guilty of this, too, but you can't control her actions. If you're serious about your relationship, you need to do right by her without fearing that you'll never be "even." You need to trust your partner.

IMO, you aren't ready for a real relationship. You just want a glorified fuck-buddy. You aren't taking your girlfriend seriously and if you never plan to, you should have the decency to admit that to her.

>>17480937
Could you elaborate why you've come to these conclusions? (not op)

>>17480937

Do you have an extra fucking chromosome? listen, you dumb cunt.

Regardless what you think of my relationship we are fucking good together and it's not a glorified fuck-buddy you stupid cunt.

If going on holiday with my friends makes me a selfish cunt even if I see my girlfriend frequent as fuck regardless of the distance then so be it.

>>17480975
It has nothing to do with your original predicament. You are just very clearly too immature to have an adult relationship.

>>17480981

I am 20 and in my final year of university. Obviously I have a lot to learn in regards to relationships.

So what you are saying is that the ideal mature adult relationship would sacrifice opportunities if their partner demands?

>>17480994
In the ideal mature adult relationship, no one would be making demands in the first place, plus BOTH the partners would be able to see things from the other's POV.

>grow up!
>immature!
>mature!

I miss when these words had a meaning and weren't just thrown around with out thought.