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Anonymous
How do I help a long-distance friend through their problems? 2016-08-19 16:15:04 Post No. 17476581
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How do I help a long-distance friend through their problems? 2016-08-19 16:15:04 Post No. 17476581
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How do I help a long-distance friend through their problems?
Anonymous
2016-08-19 16:15:04
Post No. 17476581
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So I met this girl in January while I was going to school and long story short, we had a short-lived relationship and are now only friends.
But, on the bright side, we are still friends, and the friendship, while not the best I've ever had, is still worth keeping. ONTO THE TOPIC:
So this girl was for the longest time going to New College of Florida. It's a very liberal, kind of newer idea of school in which they push their undergrads very hard. This is to the point where they are required to do an undergraduate thesis before they are able to graduate.
This particular friend of mine got all the way to her thesising year, and realized that she no longer wanted to do what she was being trained to do. She doesn't have any desire, in fact, to do what she knows how to do and doesn't feel qualified enough to do anything else.
Because of this fact, finishing her thesis has been nigh-impossible for her, to the point where she was given an extension to finish it by the end of this month and she still has not done so.
Because of this, she has been suicidal, constantly talking about killing herself, and has been otherwise had a very severe lack of motivation to do anything to improve her life other than short-term fixes (partying, sleeping around, etc.). While these fixes are nice for a night, things always end up worse after they're over.
Other than finishing the thesis for her (which I am nowhere near qualified to do), what are some ways that I could help her out at this kind of distance? Seeing her is not an option, nor am I sure that that would help. Thoughts?
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>>17476581
A woman doesn't need your help, she already has a huge fucking safety net called society
Dont waste your energy
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>>17476593
See, I'm not so much trying to protect her, rather than just be a decent human being and try to help her. I would be lying if I said I didn't still have certain feelings for her, but it's not prohibiting me from seeing other people or doing other things either.
Ergo, I'm just trying to be a good bloke and don't mind that she has it better when it comes to people caring about her than when I'm hurting. I'm not about to let jealousy cloud my actions.
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>>17476581
Nobody has ever killed themselves because they had a semi hard time in college, and they sure wouldn't tell anyone about it all the time.
She's being dramatic and is about to learn she, and she alone, is accountable for her mistakes.
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>>17476636
See there were definitely times when I would totally agree with you. When we were living together, we would be having a perfectly good day and then she would talk about killing herself. I do feel like there is a certain extent of her talking about her problems that is only for attention and nothing more.
To be fair though, she has essentially failed college at the very last hurdle. She has made it to the finish line, but hasn't crossed it yet. I can see where that would add a lot to the emotional burden that she's facing.
I know I'm not responsible for her. To be entirely honest, if she does kill herself then I know it won't be my fault. But I would like to help if I can. If anything goes wrong, I would like to know that I tried.
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Bumping for some possible other advice (though I'm not ignoring the other posters, thank you for your inputs)
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