I feel like my inner demon is strong.
I bottle it up and fight it since I don't enjoy it and I don't want to hurt people , but it affects me and I think my body language and micro expressions hint about my inner feelings .
1. Smiling at people doesn't happen naturally
2. Complimenting people doesn't come naturally either. I have to remind myself to do it and force it. I instinctively want to criticize.
3. I build up intense resentment and hatred towards people/colleagues who don't perform or overshadow me in one way or another
4. My thoughts are negative by nature so I have to twist them and make them positive before I let them out to not be a constant energy vampire
And so on. I sound like a horrible person. But at least I fight it... and I want to become a friendly person starting from the inside.
How?
>>17474034
let me guess you are a taurus?
>what does that have to do with the price of fish in china?
everything. taurus will bottle up all their emotions and not really let them out untill an unappropriate moment...
best thing for you to do is write down the feelings in a journal and when its full burn it. once you have written down what you need to say it will be like huge weight has been lifted off those heavy shoulders.
stop seeing the people who try to help you as "villans" or time bandits your negitive thoughts are because of you negitive actions you are basically fighting yourself. its ok to feel good you dont need anybodys permission but yours. smile because you want to not because says you should
>>17474034
You're on the right path. Fake it until you make it. I'm a naturally hostile person as well. It took me years of forcing myself to be nice and lots of trial and error until it stuck. Even then I have to keep it in check and I'm still pretty rough around the edges. It paid off though.
>>17474642
Hahaha fucking astrology faggot.
>>17474642
Astrology is bullshit, don't believe what this anon says. Anything you think was predicted by astrology was confirmation bias. They've done studies where they give everyone the exact same horoscope, and they all say it applies to them perfectly, despite being different signs.