Ready to Die

I don't evencare enough to try killing myself anymore.
It's this weird transcendant feeling of supreme apathy. I get no reactions out of myself with anything.
Any idea what's wrong with me?

I'm not suicidal but I also don't want to continue living if that makes any sense. I'm just too lazy to do anything to improve myself so I don't want to end up homeless.

>>17473600
helium exit bag, is easy and painless

>>17473600
In the same boat, but if you kill yourself you eliminate all chances of one day not living in misery.
You don't want to die , you want to be happy but you dont see it happening

>>17473600
you wont do it, faggot

>>17473633
that would be severe depression, anon. been there, done that, would have bought the t-shirt but just couldn't be bothered.

>>17473639
could also be severe depression. or a medical thing. or both.

>>17473600
I also deal with suicidal thoughts and have held off doing it for the same reason you have - my parents, brothers, husband, and friends all seem to care, and I wouldn't want to put them through that.

suicide puts huge amounts of stress on families. mental illness does too. but unless it's so severe that you're literally disrupting the living shit out of their lives every time you come into contact with them, then I can assure you that it's not nearly as devastating as if you were to end yourself. suicide can destroy families. most parents, even those who aren't that close to their kids, have a lot of difficulty recovering. it's such a strain that many marriages do not survive the loss of a child.

>inb4 the inevitable "oh they'll just move on with their lives eventually" that someone always posts in these threads

they do and they don't. they go through the motions and they may look okay on the outside. but a lot of people have hidden pain. I would say the vast majority of emotional pain is hidden or stuffed down or compartmentalised. so it looks like nearly everybody is functioning fine, and the only ones who aren't are the ones who are doing so poorly that they just can't keep it together at all.

never judge how someone feels or what they're actually dealing with by the face they are showing to you.

>>17473600

Been like that on and off for a while. It always boils down to the same few things: Guilt, you don't want to upset the few people that actually do give a damn (although my personal list in that regard is shrinking); Fear... fear of botching it, the fear of whatever the fuck comes next (that's mainly an issue for the religious I suppose) and the fear of missing out in case things to do get better, after all its happiness you crave more than the release; finally, the fact that people always tell you to hang in there as pain goes and things get easier, and on some stupid, subconscious level, you want to believe them.

The worst part is when you go through with it, and you botch it so badly you barely even make out of the gate. That the only thing you really hurt is the tiniest scrap of dignity and pride you have left, and your're left huddled in a puddle tears and self-loathing. I'm forcibly making myself continue, mainly out of cowardice perhaps. It may get better. if not, hopefully I get killed in a mugging or hit by a bus. No guilt that way. Otherwise, my housemates go on holiday in September; it will be a struggle not to do anything then.

I wouldn't advise you to go through with it, unless you really, truly %100 believe it's the only way for your misery and pain to cease. I would say it was just a phase, but I've been feeling like this for a VERY long time so I don't even know whether to believe that myself. All I can say is: see a doctor for pills or a referral for CBT, a counsellor/psychiatrist, anything that helps, first (CBT didn't personally work for me, but everyone is different) and if you still want to end it all after that... research your method thoroughly first (a lot of people recommend the exit bag, some say mixing ammonia and bleach, properly and efficiently, can kill you in one deep breath but IDK how true that is), don't go into blindly... like I did.

God speed anon, I hope you make it out of the storm.

>>17473639
This is basically me.

Wishing for a car to hit me or something.

>>17473600

Guess what? You'll get your wish, 100%.

Now go out and live.

>>17473600
Me too op. I've been trying to hypnotize myself to get over my fear of suicide. I lost all my friends, got kicked out of Facebook groups, I'm a failure to my parents, and the only one who really likes me anymore is my girlfriend.

>>17473774
Post tits or gtfo
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm too nervous to kill myself
If I overdose there's a chance I'll survive and I'll be put in an institution.
I could shoot myself but for one that might hurt and two it would traumatize whatever family member that might find me