People Advice

>>17471272
sup, my now ex gf is much older than me, i'm early 20 she's late 20's, she left me a while ago and we are still really close (even sleep together and have sex weekly), but she saying some weird shit lately, like she has a kind of motherly love for me and want to help me grow up the best i can, literally talking like my mom would. htis is odd, i still really love her but man what the fuck

>>17471302
Sex is good. Why did she break it off? With the whole maternal aspect it sounds like she's trying to distance herself from being in a relationship with you. It's possible that she's not looking for anything too serious and just wants to continue being FWBs (which conflicts with how you feel about her I guess). I would try not to get too focused on her romantically.

>>17471314
because she says i'm too immature. basically all i did was snooping around her chats once and sometimes i didnt treat her very well, that's because i just like to stay alone for a day or two when i'm upset or have a stressful time, but she basically always wanted to stay close to me and i ended up being very rude in some occasions.
many other shitty things after that, the worst was when her stepfather died and she told me she called her ex and they saw each other the same day, i got really jealous because i didnt know he was a close friend of her stepfather.
i'm a bit high atm sorry if the text is not clear

>>17471328
Haha it shows. Well thanks for the bump anyway. Hope it works out for you.

>>17471328
>FWB
i always ALWAYS tought being fwb would be the best thing ever. but it's not man, not if you love the girl more than you fucking love you, i bought her flowers just to make her smile, i didnt go to holyday because she was having a harsh time and i wantod to be with her, i sacrificed even my bros and my social life because she work a lot and we can see each other only evening/late night, i learned to cook just to make her a good dinner after she worked for 14 hours, i stopped smoking i went to the gym twice as much, i would have cut my legs off if she would asked me for that and the she just want to fuck other guys other than you.
fuck that shit i'm going gay

>>17471350
Yeah man that shit happens. Honestly you've got to fucking let go. You're just mindfucking yourself. Don't underestimate the mind's ability to make someone completely flawless through your eyes. Go to the gym and stop smoking and learn to cook but do it for YOURSELF. You've got to love yourself before you love others.

My humor is very anti-sjw for lack of a better word. I use words like fag when referring to someone whos a dork. I make Muslim jokes, black jokes, and even native jokes(I'm native myself) and all the girls ive met on this hippy island (Vancouver island) get triggered when I be who I am. Its how my family jokes around and all my friends from back home. Is it even worth it to watch my mouth for the sake of a relationship? The girl I was talking to is really Into me and we like all the same music, great sexual chemistry etc. But she got mad when I used the word "fag" in a non "homophobic" way. I can definitely change the way I talk but it would feel depressing and it makes me miss home. I don't say these things spitefully I make racist jokes and jokes about atrocities just as a way to cope with the harsh realities like anyone else.

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Took a bunch of xanax because after breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 months and bestfriend of 4 years I was sad. The relationship was getting toxic. I was hurt because I really love l loved this person.then I got sexually assaulted at work on top of it. While on xanax I texted my previous ex and we were talking about how we still care and now we have a concert we're going ti together in a week.
Yes I still have feelings but this ex broke up with me 6 months ago without reason. I don't know why I even texted him. I Just didn't care.
Is this bad? I'm not sure if I want my ex back. He could hurt me again. And i know I'll end up wanting to sleep with him.

>>17471388
Also my previous ex and I are compatible. We dated for 2 years

>>17471387
Don't change yourself if you like who you are. Saying that, there's also no need to say offensive things on purpose around people who get easily offended. Tailoring what you say to the people around you is a skill and will make you likeable to a greater amount of people.

>>17471388
Well, is this what you want? Like, take a step back from it all for a second and think clearly about what you should do. Ask him why he broke things off and go from there.

>>17471272
There is this girl that likes me a lot, not real reason why.
I find her physically attractive, but not much beyond that.
Every time we talk we just have small talks and we can't really get a conversation going, and when we do is because I carry the conversation, trying to come out with interesting topics and such.
I get really tired putting so much effort to just keeping conversations with this girl, even tho I enjoy that she likes me and such. Now I'm trying to avoid conversations with her because they are really tiring for me. But I don't want to push her back.
Is just that she never has anything interesting to say.
what do?

>>17471502
Idk. Do you want to smash? Have you tried flirting? Maybe she just wants to jump off your mind and onto your dick.

Poo

>>17471535
same

>>17471514
we've been in a couple of dates, we hold hands and kiss. We also had conversations about our sexual preferences and such.
Sadly we hadn't meet in private since we both live with our parents, however she made it clear that 1. she wouldn't mind me fucking her and 2. she isn't looking for a fwb situation, but still, we obliviously have little things in common, all of this was really early in 'our' relationship, about a month ago. But ever since our conversations are harder and more tiring to caring on.

Any tips on how one should phrase when trying to ask out a girl on a simple date?

Do you give advice to women?

How do I get guys to approach me, if say I'm not reasonably ever going to be above a 7/10, but more realistically a 6? Is it entirely a looks thing? If I'm not a 10/10 will guys just not bother to come to me? Is there anything I can do to look inviting or make it easier on them to approach me?

>inb4 approach them yourself
the issue isn't that I don't have the self esteem to do the approaching myself per se, it's more about I'm strictly attracted to guys who are dominant enough to approach me. If I have to go to them, it kills all the attraction to me.

How old is too old to be a virgin guy? 27?

>>17471549
Seems like the kind of arrangement where you would have a shag every now and then since you're sexually compatible but not socially? Wait until parents are out and then have her over! Ah, I remember when I lived with my 'rents. Good times.

>>17471552
I'm not OP but I can say as a guy the thing that would help for getting approached would be to give off a friendly vibe. Half the reason a lot of guys won't approach a girl is if they get intimidated

The other half is looks desu so try and look as good as possible too

>>17471575
I do the smile and bat my eyes kinda thing, is there anything else I should be doing?

>>17471552
what exactly are your hobbies?
what do you do with your life / free time?
it is hard for anyone to approach you if you spend your time locked in your home playing video games and browsing the internet.
try joining some of your school clubs and meet people that way.
Guys will star approaching once you expose yourself to the world.
On a side note, don't show desperation. We can smell that shit from miles away and is a massive turn off.

>>17471583
Yeah, try approaching men.

>>17471597
explained that. I don't want men who are too scared to do the approach. We simply would not have the chemistry I need.

>>17471550
Depends on how well you know the girl. Assuming she's an acquaintance: "Hey, I think you're pretty cute. It would cool to hang out with you if you're free x day." or "Hey, we should hang out sometime! X day?"

>>17471552
Looks are more important for women than men but you can do a lot to make yourself more approachable. Like, you can be by yourself or with one or two friends instead of a group. You can be out at night. You can take out your headphones and read a book instead. You can create what's called a warm approach which is where you give eye contact to the guy first and encourage them to come. Ultimately though, its a toss up since the easier you make it, the less ballsy a guy has to be to come talk to you and the less attracted you'll be.
>I'm strictly attracted to guys who are dominant enough to approach me. If I have to go to them, it kills all the attraction to me.
All guys, take note.

>>17471563
There is no rule. It all depends on how you feel about yourself. Does it bother you?

>>17471605
are you sure? have you ever tried it?

>>17471617
Yes, it was a real lady boner killer. I felt too masculine, made the whole encounter extremely uncomfortable.

I'm super submissive and want an extremely dominant, cocky dude to bend me over and fuck me sideways. It seems to be very difficult to find these types these days, guys seem to be too afraid to talk to women anymore. I blame feminism.

>meet girl at work
>get crush on her but think she has boyfriend
>become friends with her anyways because she's a cool person and I need more women/people in my life anyways
>recently she adds me on FB and I found out she's single
>I start getting a sense that she might be into me, thinking about asking her out for drinks or something
>come back to work from the weekend and suddenly she's acting a lot colder towards me
>like she's averting her eyes in the hall and she seems less willing to talk with me
>still sort of getting the feeling she's into me though
I honestly can't read her. Any idea what might be going through her head?

>>17471614
I don't mind dropping hints, it just kills the attraction for me to actually have to get up, walk over to the dude, and say "I want to talk to you/possibly have sex with you."
I generally go to the bar alone, since having friends around A) makes it more awkward for dudes to approach I feel, B) more than likely my friend will be hotter than me anyways and I already have enough competition, and C) I find it incredibly awkward to have to tell my friend "Uh hey I'm leaving to go fuck probably, you're on your own".
But the issue with the bar is I usually find I'm the only one thats there alone. Usually everyone's in a group, and they're usually coed already. Do guys still go to bars to pick up chicks or is that just a movie thing? Where else is it socially acceptable to pick up chicks? To make myself available.

My boss despises me because i can't do a lot of extra work. She doesn't openly show, since i do the work i am paid for good. but she does small little shit, especially making inappropriate remarks about me to co-workers (for example, she has told people that i'm always late, when in fact i'm always on time, just not 15mins earlier. I told her why that is and that i can't change it even if i wanted to). I have tried to talk to her on many occasions, to no avail. She knows she can't just fire me since i DO my job. I have to stay there for atleast another year, so i just need to manage. How do i handle that? It doesn't help to call her out on it. I tried and ofc it made everything 1000x worse. But i also hate to just let her get away with it and thus make her think her behaviour is ok. What should i do?

>>17471645
Maybe a bit overanalysing? Just talk to her like a human being and ask her out for drinks. Worst case scenario she says she's not interested and then you know.

>>17471646
Girl, use tinder. That shit is super good for screening guys who know their shit from an average joe. You can also get laid pretty quickly seeing as that's what you seem to be looking for. Also there's nothing wrong with bringing friends with you. They can help you screen guys and they won't mind if you find someone hot to go home with. It makes the whole night fun.

>>17471648
Sounds like a tough spot. Ask your co-workers what her deal is? There's probably a reasonable explanation for her behavior and it helps to get a different perspective.

That's it for tonight. 3am here. Take care you cunts. I'll check back tomorrow morning if the thread's still alive. <3

>>17471614

Well, I feel like I know it'sn ot important, I have had people reccomend me to see a prostitute, and my immediate thought is...if it's able to be bought, is it worth that much?

But on the other hand, I do kinda' feel like I'm missing out on something great, being that close to someone.

Also, I know for a fact that people look down on older virgins and I don't know why>

>>17471664
Online dating only brings out the autism in people I find. Me included. Seems so unnatural and impersonal, robotic almost. Makes me sperg out, I don't know how to talk to people when they know what I look like but have never met me face to face.

And it's not that I'm not looking for anything serious, but I mean, not serious is about all you can get these days. So I'll take what I can get. But if it's going to be a one and done anyways, then it better be a good one.

Kinda like eating shit when you're on a diet, if I'm gonna splurge and go over my calorie limit, I might as well enjoy what I'm eating.

Is it possible for a fat guy to look good?

>>17471272
Do women care if guys have a big ass? I've been working out for a year and a half, I'm reasonably built but I have a big, muscular ass. Kinda insecure about it but I've heard some women like it? Is that a meme or is it for real?

>>17471735
is it possible for a fat woman to look good?

Losing weight is not hard. It seems like it at first, but once you get into it everything seems so easy. You'll question why you ever thought it was hard.

Hi op. How do i know when to go in for the kiss?

19 year old kissless cyborg, girls like me but i just cant people good

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>>17471272
Last year, around September, I met a girl who's a year older and everything I've ever looked for in a person. She's beautiful, hilarious, and has these eyes that grab you and won't let go. Anywho, around then I started to talk to her whenever I could, mind you this wasn't all too often (about once or twice a week), but when we talked, we'd talk a lot and I'd always make her laugh. She never laughed or even that much outside of our conversations. I knew my average-at-best looking ass had to go somewhere with this, so I started to get better into shape so that I could have some sort of shot with her. Come March-ish, she introduces me to one of her guy friends. Alrighty, no big deal. That's when shit gets weird. She stops talking with me entirely, not even saying "hi". She's gets with the guy and she's obviously not happy with him. Whenever I'd pass her, she'd always stare straight at me, but when I tried to talk with her, she wouldn't talk. Eventually, she dumps the guy (I don't know when) and I try to reach out again. Nothing. And now, maybe a week ago, she's posted a pick of her and a guy from her hometown (an ex, I've heard) making out. Alright, it's over, things should go back to normal, only she still just gives me those looks. Help?

>>17471744
Guys generally have more control over their appearance. Either way it takes a while to lose weight so I want to look as good as I can in the meantime.

>>17471799
How so? I'm not challenging or anything, genuinely asking. Like when I think of things that make a dude attractive, his weight or /fit/ness is the only thing I can think of that they can reasonably change without like, plastic surgery.
I'm just wondering what else you consider "having control over"?

>>17471819
Style and demeanor. Plus I don't think /fit/ness is a linear scale since it's a combination of musculature and bodyfat percentage.

>>17471839
C A R D I O

Literally running in the morning kickstarts your metabolism, bruns fat, and is super good for you.

From what ive seen larger men need to have some accommodations/achievements or have a good personality.

Some girls like bears that are just genuine you dont have to be the best looking.

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Is this a dismissive response?

I felt like we were having decent conversations for a bit, and then things got quiet and sparse. So I sent this and I dunno. I'm not sure how to respond to it. I feel like she's telling me to leave her alone. I'm dumb socially, so sorry if it's obvious

>>17471839
hmm true, I'll give style I guess but I mean that's something women have control over too.
Demeanor though I wouldn't classify as a "look" though, rather it's more personality.
I was just trying to think of something a man can change about his look specifically that a woman couldn't. I guess facial hair is about all I got.

>>17471863
Maybe it's more that I feel those things are more important? I've known a few fat guys who either ran their own business or had high positions and the demeanor they gave off and the way they looked made them something to look at.

how do i get over my irrational fear of rejection? I think this boy at the grocery store is cute but idk how to approach him

im a dude btw

>>17471846
she likes you but she doesn't feel she is in the position to have a relationship atm.
So, cut contact and move on.
are you always the one that start conversations?
that's a sign that you are not a priority for her and she shouldn't be a priority for you.

>>17471887
hahahaha
kill yourself.

>>17471887
I don't really have an answer, but your fear is at least a little more justified than the average autismo on 4chins. If that makes you feel any better at least.

Do you get any gay vibes from this guy at all? Is it possible to just strike up a friendly convo with a dude and make friends that way? Does it work like that in the dude world? Or would that be weird even for 2 straight dudes? idk.

>>17471846

Never, ever, ever, ever say things like this. If she stops responding, then you just stop responding as well. If she was ever interested in any way she will eventually contact you again. Think about it - the only reason why you contacted her still was because you wanted to hear from here right? If you didn't care, then you wouldn't bother.

At the same time, saying something cringe-y like that is basically shouting that you don't have any confidence in yourself and that you don't value yourself highly. What your message is really saying is this:

"Well, I don't think I really deserve your attention or anything so I think I should just leave you alone..." Even if she were already dating you this would be a massive turnoff.

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>>17471272
Pic related.
I'm just about ready to give up on trying to get past these anti-social tendencies I have. My confidence has been on a steep decline, and thinking negatively is my new norm.

I've successfully dropped smoking both weed and cigarettes last Saturday and have been feeling better, but it hasn't really helped me up my sociability.

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>>17471738
Bumping my question. In case you don't want to scroll up, it's essentially: I've heard women like men with a muscular ass. Is it a meme or is there any truth to it?

Is your s/o supposed to be your best friend or at least a person you want to spend all your free time with, or is it normal to prefer to hang out with other friends, save for the moments when you need some romantic/sexual intimacy?

I'm wondering if it'll be fair to date one girl whom I find attractive and who likes me a lot and clearly wants me to make a move. I want a girlfriend for cuddles, sex and social gainz t b h but I don't want to end up hurting her somehow either.
I prefer to hang out with other friends because we have more mutual hobbies, and more similar sense of humor (the girl is nice and thoughtful and it's enjoyable to talk to her, but she's too normie, as lame as it sounds)

>>17472896
It's not totally normal.

I spend a lot of time with my SO. We share hobbies and interests. We also fuck and cuddle, of course. I don't want to spend ALL my free time with them - I still spend time alone and with my family and friends. If all you want to do with your partner is cuddle and fuck, it's not going to end well.

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>if it's able to be bought, is it worth that much?
Profound.

I think you have the right attitude anon, you value intimacy which is something a lot of people don't care about.

>>17471614
>I'm strictly attracted to guys who are dominant enough to approach me. If I have to go to them, it kills all the attraction to me.

Easier said than fucking done.

>>17472903
Well, it's not that we don't have anything to talk about or to do together. We got similar temperament and taste in music and movies, for example. I'm an artistic type though and while she seems to find that cool, I have more fun when I hang out with other artists I know.
Also our lifestyles kinda differ. I'm a heavy smoker, I drink beer rather often and love trash food. She likes her food neat, doesn't smoke, drinks like 2 drinks at most even if we spend 3 hours in a bar. She goes biking every weekend or something, while all the exercise I do is taking long walks at night with friends to catch Pokemon (often drinking beer at the same time), and sometimes doing pull-ups and push-ups at home when I don't forget... and when I'm home in the first place.
My favourite friends have a similar lifestyle to me. But maybe I just have a preference for the friends because I know them for longer time and I only met the girl like a month ago?

So, i had this thing going with a girl for about 1-2 months. Apparently things were going well, she told me that she thought that was in love with me, kissed me whenever she could, etc.

Then, 1 week after she told me that she was in love with me, suddenly she just came out of nowhere and told me that it just wouldn't work and that she didn't liked my enough to get a thing going.
So we cut off contact almost completly.

Fast foward 1 month later, we're not even greeting eachother when we meet. But, me and some of my friends noticed that she's acting wierd while we're in class/together. She's passing her finger through her hair, resting her cheeks on her arms, laying down on the desk, looking down, like, trying to be cute or something.

What the fuck does she want? Does she want to come back or what? Or is her just playing games with me?

OP here. Appreciate the peeps filling in for me when I'm gone. Turns out I didn't get much time for my break so ill get back to you lot tonight. Keep it real! <3

ex gf from high school. stayed friends, since we all had the same friends, for the past 10 yrs. she recently got out of a 4yr relationship with her boyfriend that i had become friends with. he left her and moved to another state. the night it happened, her sister (one of my best friends) asked me if i can check up on her the next day since she was staying home from work. i went over and spent the day with her trying to keep her mind off things. she was pretty distraught from it all and really angry. tht was two weeks ago. but on saturday we were at a party and she was running her hands through my hair.whenever i'd walk by shed grab my arm and hug me, leaning up against me caressing my back and I hers. it felt like high school all over again. now we dated for a while so i can read her body language like a fucking book! so i know she was into it, she started breathing heavily, pushing her hips into mine as i moved my hand down to her ass and grabbed it. after a few seconds, she moved my hand up and shoved me a bit. now we're standing in a circle talking to some friends so in retrospet, i can kinda see why she didnt want me to. but i started rubbing my fingers on her upper ass cheek. again heavy breathing and pushing her hips into mine, then she smacks my chest, pushes me away, and hugs her best friend and they run away for some girl talk. this was all right as we were all saying bye so she didnt come back. when her friend walked back after she left, i can see it in her eyes that she told her what happened whenever we made eye contact. i really don't wanna fuck this up, and her sister told me that her ex didn't have much of a sex drive.. like at all. so i know she's due for a good fucking. how should i go about this carefully??

>>17471272
>relationships, people, women and sex
All things I don't give a fuck about.
Pass.

>>17474433
Here's a complimentary (you)

How do I read people, how do I be flirty, and how do I be more social? I was really ostracized when I was a kid and I just assume no one really likes me, people don't make much sense to me. Obviously I'm also very shy. Pls help

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Last night I told a friend that I really liked her and wanted to start a serious relationship. She isn't super trusting and in the past wanted to be friends longer, but I don't want to keep wondering. She said she'd think about it.

Did I fuck up? Is this just a no, should I treat it as such? What do?
>mfw the first thing she said when I opened up was, "why?"

>>17471272
So, I recently started getting to the point in life where I am considering dating again. I got my life to a good point and it is starting to seem like the next step. I pretty much skipped the whole dating scene during my 20s to get to this point, worth it, but I have no clue about how to go around meeting single women my age. I don't drink (and should be kept as far away from alcohol as possible), so bars aren't really an option. All of my friends got married, settled down, and are doing the whole family deal so I don't have a lot of social connections that could lead to single activities. Is it true that dating has pretty much gone online? Would a faith based option be a good call (I'm not really religious, but I'm also not opposed to it)? Do you know of any good ways for a thirty something guy just starting to date again to meet people? Should I just keep doing my thing and see if anything comes from it organically?

for the last 5 days all shes been doing is reading "ebooks" all day. all i get i a goodmorning +reply text or two in the morning and the same at night. literally nothing in between. she said she hasnt been checking phone much and it kinda checks out i guess since she goes on fb once a day at most but still. The first 2 days i came back from my trip it wasnt like that, it was a mix of both, we hung out as well. i would say its my fault because i gave her the tablet and told her how to get free books, but theres nothing wrong with reading so idk

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Posted a thread already, but you may have some useful advice. How Do I date a NEET?

In remaining friends with my ex, I've watched myself inadvertently cause her next break ups just by being around, but she never said anything to me about it. We're such good friends I'd really hate to lose touch with her but damn if I don't feel shitty for the future guys who have to deal with me being around.
I haven't really gotten back into the dating scene since the break up. I'm assuming I'll have to expect the same thing on my end concerning future girlfriends?

>>17471272
I wanna cheat on my gf. I love her and I dont wanna hurt her but I have this urge and every day is harder to control. I already started to take action, havent got to the point of no return, but Im about to. The temptation is harder to resist because shes on a trip.