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Anonymous
How do I cope with these gay intrusive thoughts? 2016-08-17 21:16:36 Post No.
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How do I cope with these gay intrusive thoughts? 2016-08-17 21:16:36 Post No.
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I'm being fucked by my emotions right now. Let me explain my situation. For the past week, I've been having gay intrusive thoughts. Whenever I sit down to watch a show and there's a male character, my mind just asks itself, "Do you think he's cute?" This has been going on nonstop, I've also been having gay sexual thoughts, too. I've gotten off to traps and gay porn in the past. I've jacked off to 3 of my male friends as well, but I felt disgusted during and after it. I've had unintentional gay experiences in the past when I was younger. I've watched my friend strip down naked, I've accidentally had another naked dude brush his ass against me, I slept with a childhood friend when I was staying over at his house because he only had one bed. Some kid even came and sat on me randomly. There was another time where one of my fucked up friends took his underwear off and rubbed them in my face. Let's just say, I wasn't aroused by any of these things, in fact, I was disgusted heavily. Sounds really gay, right? I know. Now, let me tell you why I think I'm straight. I believe these thoughts could be because of porn and masturbation. I've been sitting home on my computer jacking off a lot this Summer. I haven't got out much at all and I haven't been around any women at all either. I remember finding BDSM hot back in 6th grade, I've masturbated to urination, defecation, suffocation, hentai etc. But I used to always think gay porn was disgusting until I jacked off to traps. One other thing is that I've always been into women. I've always had romantic feelings towards certain girls ever since age 5, never any boys. I've predominantly masturbated to straight porn as well. When I go out in public, I only feel sexually attracted to women, not men. Now, what I fear most is myself being able to get off to gay porn and gay fantasies. I've done my googling, women love lesbian porn, so I thought it might be the same for men liking gay porn; and it's not.
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>>17470861
cont.
I've spoken to gay people now for the past week on their thoughts about sexual orientation. They've told me that being gay is something they knew pretty well ever since a young age, they've told me that if I feel sexually attracted to women, that won't change because you can't change who you're attracted to. This is one thing that's calmed me down, but I'm still having my doubts. They've also told me that they find men attractive the same way I find women attractive. But nevertheless, I still have my doubts. My mind's been thrown into disarray and I can't take it anymore, fear is consuming me. Why the fuck do I get turned on jacking off to gay porn and thinking about gay things? I've come up with a few conclusions. One, I'm attracted to things that are taboo. Two, my tastes in porn have escalated and I can't get off to the same lesbian porn I used to jack off to. I'm scared that I might magically wake up and lose interest in women even though I've been told multiple times that it's impossible for that to happen. I'm going to quit porn and see what happens. I'm going to stop jacking off. I need to get outside. I can't cope with this shit. I haven't been able to get horny at all lately. I got horny earlier actually though from watching some lewd shit in some anime. But my boner only lasted for like 5 seconds. I've jacked off so much in the past week. I need to stop. I'm confused about sexual orientation. I'm confused about a lot of things, and I need help.
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>>17470880
I've literally had crushes on tons of girls in the past, all throughout school. I would stay up obsessing on these women, thinking I would want to marry them in the future. I've always had strong affectionate feelings for some girls. I would always hide my boners in math class because this one girl had the most phenomenal ass I've ever seen. I remember one Summer I tried to buy another girl's used panties online because I had a dirty panty fetish. I don't want to become gay, I don't want to even become bisexual. The thought of liking men in anyway that's sexual fucking scares me. I've never been into dudes, ever. So, why the fuck are these thoughts happening? I can't stop them.
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>>17470861
Lay off the porn and jacking off a bit, give yourself a break. Bombarding your brain with too much of it can fuck with your sexual preferences, at least in the short term. You're probably not going to get turned off women from porn alone, but it helps to actually get out and talk to real people (including girls).
While I knew some kids who were very obviously going to turn out gay, I know a few for whom it was kind of a development without them realising (it happened with me, straight until my friend asked if I'd ever consider another guy, I hadn't until then). Just wondering and getting off to a few weird things isn't going to suddenly turn you into a flaming homo. That said, if it carries on for long after you've calmed down, don't beat yourself up about it - you might just bend that way for a specific look, guy or girl, there's no shame in that.
If you get sucked into a certain routine and way of thinking for too long people can have some weird thoughts. Go hang out with people and get some fresh air instead of being stuck in your room fapping, talk to a girl or two and you'll be fine.
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You might unironically have OCD. Consult a therapist.
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>>17471113
Thanks, this fear is just a piece of shit. It's always making me think I'm in denial, it's asking me questions I'd never even consider, and it's putting images in my mind that I wouldn't ever want.
>>17471135
I might have HOCD, but I don't know how to handle it. I don't think there are any therapists in my local area.
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If I were you, I'd lay off the porn for a bit and see what happens. Like most things, too much of it has a tendency to fuck you up.
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>>17471184
Yeah. I was thinking earlier about what it would be like to have a threesome with another dude and a girl. The thought of there being another man in the room disturbs me. Yet, for some reason I can get off to gay porn.
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