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/adv/ this is my first time posting and I have a real problem.
I am 24, graduated from an American University (am from the USA) in 2015 with a degree I didn't want because I wasn't accepted into a nursing program. My mother has passed away and I basically have a pretty fucked up family.
I met this guy while traveling abroad in Holland and we fell in love. Skyping everyday for 8 hours and even sometimes more. When we weren't skyping we were texting. He proposed to me after 6 months and I was so happy, in love and couldn't wait to move to Holland with him. I thought learning and speaking a new language would be fun and cool, and since nursing is fairly easy to get into here I thought everything was going to fall into place.
The First week I moved here my fiance changed. He started becoming bossy and short tempered. Of course we still have good times but the bad times (fighting) are getting more frequent. I thought moving here was my destiny and would make me happy, but since I got here I've hated learning dutch, have absolutely 0 sex drive and feel so depressed I want to kill myself. I have a Bachelors Degree, must have sent out 20 applications and haven't been called once. This makes me feel worthless and stupid.
My fiance is a dentist, and they will not let him work in the US, he has to go through the training again which he definitely does not want to do. I tried to talk to him about going to the UK or Ireland but that conversation ended with him getting angry (again) and storming out of the room. He simply won't talk about it. 2 weeks ago we had a fight in which both of us got physical with each other.
I don't know what to do. I love him, but am very hurt he will not compromise by moving to an English speaking country. I feel he hid some of his qualities from me which I don't care for very much. I was depressed in the USA, I am depressed here too, what if I am too if I go back home. What should I do?
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>>17469869
You looked to someone else to lift your depression. It didn't (and never will) work.
He should not have to move because you changed your mind.
Getting physical is a huge red flag as you know, and once you cross that line it's impossible to go back. I'd get out before I landed in the bottom of a river.
Also if you have AU money and are bitching about a degree, you're probably pretty spoiled already. There's a reason you didn't get accepted into a nursing program: you didn't try the 15 other schools in the area. What, Montgomery College wasn't good enough for you? I doubt you really were that disappointed and are just using that as another excuse for your life/depression.
Depression is a choice. The second you realize why you want to be sad (probably to get attention) you will stop.
Good luck. Glad you're not putting a needle in me though.
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What is AU money? I definitely didn't get any hand outs from any Universities. Nursing is competitive in the USA, especially the bachelor's of science program. I actually was accepted into a program at a private university out of high school but then my father had a heart attack and a stroke so it wasn't possible for me to afford that school anymore.
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>>17469869
You made a really bad choice marrying someone in a foreign country that you had basically known only over Skype. What did you expect? Life isn't a fairy tale.
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>>17469894
This. You fucked up son. Never relocate for a man you haven't lived with for 6+ months. Never relocate in the hopes of finding a different 'you' - bitch, you're the same unhappy person, only now he's there in front of you and is the only viable thing to take your unhappiness out on.
Maybe it's not that he's changed, maybe it's that your the same person.
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