Female problems...

I love her, and I know she loves me, but how do I make her understand that having a friend or two won't change that.

She's older than me by nearly six years. I'm 26 as of May, and she'll be 32 in October two days after our first anniversary. She's been married three times and she's constantly paranoid I'm gonna leave. Sometimes she shuts down and says she's leaving (happened several times, breaks my heart every time) or yells at me, calls me names, etc. I've done some yelling and lost my cool a few times too, but usually after days of enduring her treating me badly. She can be so sweet. You wouldn't believe it, but then other times the dark passenger takes over.

>>17464326
In the words of the great Nelson Algren,

Never eat in a place called Mom's, never play poker with a guy called Pop, and never fuck anyone crazier than you are.

So yeah, how do I convince her having a couple of friends isn't some first step to me leaving her?

>>17464351
I didn't realize what bipolar entailed when I got with her, but I would have anyway. She says she doesn't know what she'll do when she's alone, which is the main reason I quit my job to start with because I was afraid she'd off herself or something.

>>17464352
You won't be able to, ever. She suffers from something that has no basis in rationality. She's 32, this isn't going to get any better.

3 marriages at 32, and Im afraid to say that she's a disaster. This is not going to bode well for you, and deep down you already know this.

You are anchoring yourself for no benefit, stop it.

>>17464365
Alright so what the fuck do you want me to say to you, she's mentally ill she doesn't act rationally. You not having a job and not having a normal social life are just the price you have to pay to be in a relationship with this manipulating abusive and insane woman. Clearly you're more than willing to pay it since you're "IN WUV."

I've lived through this before.

It's 100% crucial that you maintain YOURSELF and YOUR life while you deal with your mentally ill girlfriend. That means job, friends, family, hobbies, etc. All of these things are normal and healthy - don't let her convince you otherwise - and if you at all want to maintain the relationship, you'll need to be emotionally stable yourself first. There's no other way this relationship can ever work. You, you, you. You can't help her if you need help yourself, so that comes first.

Not that I think it's smart of you to continue doing this, but hey.

>>17464476
Thank you. This made me feel a lot better.. She just sent me a text apologizing. The klonopin and grass are helping a lot too. I love her, and she does eventually see I was right on things and feels bad and apologizes. We've been doing pretty well since June,its just that it happens occasionally. It was every day for months we'd be arguing and I'd look at the clock and realize 6 hours had passed and this happened a lot. The actual meanness and yelling hasn't happened in a while, and this bout may have been due to the adverse reactions to them starting her on 300mg of Wellbutrin.

>>17464326
There's helping her and sacrificing things for her, and then there's pandering to and enabling her. You're obviously committed to her, so I won't just say "break up with her", even if that does seem to be the reasonable solution from an outsiders point of view.

You've taught her that if she freaks out, cries, and threatens to hurt herself, she can get you to do whatever you want. Maybe she isn't intentionally, maliciously doing it, but she still is. It's manipulation.

Teach her that you having a life and friends is not the end of the world by going out and having a life and friends. Her being upset is not based on any logical reasoning, but you'll never convince her of that. Just show her that you're still there for her, while also having time to yourself when you want or need it.

>>17464548
We've made tons of progress, and this was the worst relapse to the dark part of her in a long time, but starting wellbutrin at the max dosage combined with PMS that turned into a pretty heavy period was mostly to be for that.

In the fight I ended up saying issues that I had and she got mad and cried for a while, but ended up apologizing.

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>>17464326
>My bipolar girlfriend
You've already made a massive mistake. Are you autistic or something? Who in the right mind would quit their job for such a shitty reason? If the person can't take care of themselves, that's concerning. I don't know how you could fuck yourself so hard.