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I have a female friend who I know since school.
After school ended, we kind of lost the contact, but since a year or so, we're kind of doing things again.
I'm your stereotypical kissless male virgin, 21 y.o. and depressed about this status.
I found out that she has a girlfriend and she said she's "homoflexible", i.e. she wouldn't consider an LTR with a man, but she does seem to find some men hot. Whatever.
When we re-established our contact, I've told her about my situation (the virgin/depression-ish part, see above) and she gave me some advice on how to find girls, even though I can't really use them since I'm too shy/scared of talking to attractive girls.
We, however, seem to have developed a very open kind of friendship where sexual topics arise every time we meet. Due to some unexpected things that have happened in the past (mostly her going through my porn at one time, lol), she also knows my main fetish and general "taste", so to say.
Last time we met, I checked something on facebook while she was sitting next to me. She opened the conversation to her own account (my PC was still logged into my account) and jokingly (?) posted "hey bby, my parents are gone, wanna come over for you-know-what? ;)", then switched to her own phone and answered to this very message.
Afterwards, while in the car, we talked about various topics, including general intimacy, where I told her about how I'd really like to hug somebody for an extended period. When we arrived and I got out of the car, she offered a hug to me.
You see, while I know that she has a girlfriend (who isn't around right now, for some time - a month IIRC?), I'm still interested in her. Not romantically (I suppose?), but at least sexually. These things, that happen, such as the example(s) above, kind of confuse as to whether/what I should do. Continue doing nothing to not risk the friendship? Try to text-flirt some more? Try to escalate physically?
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Additional notes:
- During the car ride mentioned above, she also correctly assumed that my main aim isn't just trying to find some random one-night-stand at a club or something (which seems totally impossible to me, anyways), but I'd rather have some kind of relationship (like a girlfriend or a friends-with-benefits kind of thing). I reminded her, that I don't know how to get anything like that. She continued talking about the FWB thing and I asked her a few questions, including how to build a FWB relationship, to which she responded, that you need to have a solid foundation (in terms of "liberal" friendships, uhh) and kind of try to go from there and to risk things. The thing is, the only girl that I share this kind of relationship with, is her. I'm not sure whether she knows that, but she certainly might. If she knew, that would be pretty, uh, you know... Kind of a sign? But I'm probably looking too much into that? But maybe I'm ignoring signs/indicators of interest?
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Another note:
I asked her whether she wants to watch a certain movie that we've been talking about, and she agreed on watching it at my place when my parents are out of town (which happens almost every weekend). I told her to find a day where she doesn't have anything important to do on the next morning, so she can stay over night. We haven't decided on a day yet, but that's something that's probably very relevant to this thread.
The question stays: What should I do?
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>>17463381
I would have said go for it but... Doesn't she already have a girlfriend?
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>>17463384
Yeah that's one of the points. Certainly doesn't make this stuff easier.
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So, any advice?
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>>17464555
If you make a move on her there's a good chance you'll lose her as a friend forever. Not just because you can't have a healthy friendship with someone you're in love with, you don't ask a friend to cheat on their romantic partner.
Friends with benefits only work for experienced people who are not desperate for affection or in love, so don't think you can get that going.
If she wouldn't consider a long term relationship with a guy and you want a long term relationship, how can you possibly think this will work out in your favor? The only reason you're even considering her is that you're desperate.
Don't be daft. Keep her as a friend, try to get her to introduce you to other girls. If you try to get with her you'll fail miserably and lose your friend.
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