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Anonymous
Girls being into the 'idea of a guy' 2016-08-15 10:25:56 Post No. 17462973
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Girls being into the 'idea of a guy' 2016-08-15 10:25:56 Post No. 17462973
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I think women like the idea of me, but not the real me. Pls help me senpai.
Some relevant background: I'm a 20 year old male. I'm studying at a pretty prestigious university university doing a pretty difficult degree (this is relevant later on).
Women seem to love the 'idea of me' but then lose interest in the real me after a while. The best example of this is a girl (19) I dated who initially seemed very interested in me. She and I got along pretty well and she opened up to me more than she seemed to in any previous relationship of hers. She even went a lot further with me sexually than she had ever done in a previous relationship. After a few months of being 'boyfriend and girlfriend' she seemed withdrawn, not wanting to be touched and not really wanting to hang out with me. After a few weeks of this we both decided it wasn't working out and we broke up.
What really bugs me is I heard from a mutual friend (whose word I trust completely) that she was bragging about me to all her friends when we started dating, "Oh here check out a picture of us, and he's studying X at Y university" etc. What annoys me is she would talk about anything I would do that would impress her friends, e.g. what I study or what my hobbies are but she never wanted to actually discuss or take interest in my interests and hobbies. I tried to take interest in her hobbies and to find common interests, but it always ended up being me participating in something that was already her 'thing' e.g. I would watch a netflix series she was already watching but she wouldn't so much as try watching something I would recommend to her.
This sort of initial interest and then eventual lack of common ground and interests causing a rift has happened to me several times over the last few years. Girl seems really interested in me, and sometimes is the even the one who asks me on a date. After a while we end up with very little in common and then they don't seem to care.
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>>17462973
It is normal for a girl to not really care about what you actually do but do care about how successfull it seems, by the time i moved in with my gf i got questions like, what are you studying again?
This is not a reason that she looses interest in you though, maybe she was just lead astray by whats amazing by her friends opinions, when she actually was with you she probably realized what she really wants and that wasn't you. Maybe there is too much of an intellectual gap, maybe she wants to be more outgoing and going to parties and you don't provide that circle of friends she could have joined.
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I can get your perspective. I'm not sure how else to put it, but it seems like some women are enamored by the idea of "stable". I feel like those types of women tend to lack any defined goals, even if it's just something as simple as being a housewife. They just have no idea of what they want or where they want to be in the future.
Maybe they're hoping for an osmosis effect because you have your shit together? I'll never fully understand it I think.
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>>17462994
I think you may be right about the gap. The issue is there are very very few women in the course I am studying so it's hard to meet them there. My other grip is I put in a lot of effort into taking an interest in their hobbies and such but they never seem to put any effort in for me.
>>17463008
>hoping for an osmosis effect
I think that's pretty true. But the idea of it kinda hurts, them being interested in my stability because it'll help them personally.
The issue is that these problems in relationships seem to only manifest themselves after a while. I can't find out if it's gonna happen or not without getting committed to some degree. Any ideas on what to look for when I first meet a girl?
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My problem is the opposite to yours.
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>>17463033
>The issue is there are very very few women in the course I am studying so it's hard to meet them there.
STEM?
Single women are like unicorns here.
>I can't find out if it's gonna happen or not without getting committed to some degree. Any ideas on what to look for when I first meet a girl?
I kind of focus on if they're actually interested in me. You said yourself she had no interest in your hobbies, if she expresses genuine interest in your life she's probably not just going with the flow.
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>>17463050
>STEM
Yep. Single attractive women are nowhere to be found.
What I mean is they show interest in the dating stage, as most people do (trying to get to know the other person etc.) It's just that when we're actually in a relationship they seem to not care anymore and just lose interest in me all together. Maybe I just have difficulty detecting if they are actually interested in me.
Any tips on working out if they're actually interested lads?
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what is your question?
yes women, most of them actually choose depending on what you have or what you probably have
prestigous university->high income
golddiggers
maybe dont mention where you study to weed them out
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