Becoming gay

>>17458855

its not that you become gay so much as you begin to understand yourself better. Gay is a more extreme example, but when you are young there are so many things yuo dont quite understand.

the reason there seems to be more gay people is simply because the knowledge that they exist and are normal is a lot more common. there was a time when you could go your whole life and not quite realize you were gay, just werent sure why you felt uncomfortable in the lockerroom.

i was watching gay porn 29 days out of the month. then to prove i was straight, id watch straight porn on the 30th day. i had convinced myself that everyone looks at gay porn once in awhile.

>>17458855
>>17458862

a lot of people even get stuck in the 'i am attracted to dudes and can bang em but coudl enver date em' simply becuase they have no gay romance as a reference.

you grow up on a steady diet of heterosexuality and the thought of gay homo love seems uncomfortable. every guy i had sex with in highschool was 'totally straight, i just bang dudes' and now are in comitted long term relationships with other homos.

if you open your mind you find a lot of weird stuff. you dont realize you like a certain type of food until you can smell it.

>>17458862
Can you explain the whole
"I sucked a dick/I watch gay porn but am not gay" thing.

It irks me to no end, how someone could be this delusional.

>>17458855
>Can you become gay as an adult?
That depends on who you ask. There are lots of gay men who don't come out until relatively late in life, but maby will argue that these men were actually always gay, and only hid or repressed it until that time. According to this theory, such men do not "become" gay, because they were never anything else.

Not everyone holds to that theory, even wihin the LGBT community. Bisexuals in particular tend more strongly to believe that sexuality is more fluid than that. Under that model, it probably would be possible to become gay later in life.

>>17458868
>how someone could be this delusional.
We live in delusional times.

>>17458868

its just like i explained above. you grow up on a steady diet of heterosexuality, everyone talks about how you must like this girl or that girl, and girls this and girls that and the third girl thing. you literally cannot conceive of it.

there is also the stigma. even in the most accepting of communities there is a 'lifestyle' to being gay. when people say its okay to be gay they often say 'go be as fabulous as you want to be' and other gay themed buzzwords. and despite them saying its okay, there is that tinge of laughter. that 'this is who you are' and the obvious superiority of being masculine has driven in by the rest of the culture.

you compartmentalize. the same way you may drink every fuckign day but say 'im no an alcoholic'. the same way you might weigh 200 pounds and say 'im not fat'. the same way you may be doing a line of coke off a bathroom toilet and saying 'im not addicted'.

you need to convince yourself you are not this thing because of hte negative position it puts you in. even my most open minded friends treat me like a 'gay friend' not a 'friend'. and no one wants that.

it boils right back down to what you said
>i sucked a dick, but im not gay

not all gay guys suck dick. i dont. came out of the closet to a guy who treated me totally normally for the first six months, and now its all 'HAHA YOU GO GET THAT COCK MAN'.

the world reduces you to your sexuality if its deviant.

OP here, I'll confirm that I do find women romantically and sexually attractive. But apparently my preferences can change later in life according to you people.

>>17458899
But you are super gay, and you are aware of this.

Having sex/fooling around with someone of the same gebder is the literal definition of gay.

It does not leave room for interpretation like your other examples.

>>17458912

you might be bisexual. you might be somewehre on the scale between straight and bi or bi and gay.

you may just be gay and not realizing it. there was a time where i also said 'i find women romantically and sexually attractive'. hell, to this day i can fap to lesbians if they're really girlie pretty types with a more innocent look to em. straight porn about 33% of the time, gay the rest of the time.

what i mean ehre is what you say and think arent exactly what you feel. you may come to realize you dont see women that way at all, but you are just stuck in the loop, cuz thats all you've known. you might have one legitimately ormantic experience with a man and realize thats what was missing. it may take several.

or it may take a million and you'll still just be bi. i dont know.

all i mean to say is that your sexuality is more complex and misunderstood than you give it credit for. you dont become gay, you simply realize that you were.

my biggest piece of advice? never feel pressured to 'come out'. its a dumb concept and if ur happy being you the way you are, even if its in private, keep it that way.

with the exception of romance, which is detached from the rest of my life for hte most part, its way easier to live as a 'straight man'. even though im a raging faggot. homos act like its a big deal, but its comfy af

>>17458920

>it does not leave room for interpretation like your other examples

thank god that humans are robots and can logically dissect the situation as it appears.

except for how theyre not. you dont understand cuz you're not in the situation, but to all the trap fappers out there, what htey do is just 'experimenting' its a little deviance they have once in awhile. its a 'bad thing i did only once... and ill never do it agian... okay now... okay now... okay this time i mean it'.

cuz the moment they admit they are gay, their entire life changes.

they can still interpret it anyway that makes them feel safe. and they obviously do.

you dont have to understand that, you can sit back and call everyone who is struggling with their sexuality dumb for it, but its just the way it is. if there was no stigma, id agree wtih you, but you get it hammered into your head that you are striaght then get told that gay is bad and admitting you are gay to yourself is a horrifying thought.

>>17458925
i relate so hard
thank you

>>17458920

>but you are super gay and you are aware of this.

to clarify, yes i am. but back when i was in middle school, i was not aware. i saw lots of gay porn (started with accidental yaoi) and it escalated from there. like most gay men i didnt just wake up one day and be like 'OF COURSE! IM GAY!'

its a slow strange process

>>17458943

it happens. just remember it doesnt have to define you. you can keep it to yourself if it makes you comfortable the way it does for me, and you can just tell people on a need to know basis as well

>>17458963
yep, even if i came to the conclusion that i was gay with absolute certainty, i wouldn't tell people who i thought might put me in a box because of it. this might change if i meat a guy that i want to go public with but for now it's just in internal struggle about how i want to see myself. in private when im horny im gay; but when my mind isn't on sex it doesn't matter. the worst is the period right after jerking off to gay porn or stimulating my anus. i know i'll understand myself with experience though, and that i am not the only person who has gone through this

>>17458855

I think pan-sexual is the way to go.

I'm very attracted to genuinely intelligent people, successful people (self-made men/women), powerful people, witty/sarcastic people and of course, looks.

Not so much for the sex anymore since I'm 30 and have had more sex than I care to admit; I'm retired.

Just like to associate with them.

The occasional blowjob from a grill who is skillful, I can't pass up but other than that I'm good without sex.

On a similar not, I'll cum on a girls tits or face and then lick it up; if I cum inside them, I have no problems going down on them afterwords.

How gay would you rate this?

And fuck off Kinsey, all your research was biased.

>>17458980


good for you anon. and i dont mean that in the condescending way that the phrase has been used in recent years. thats basically my mindset.

friends dont need to know until i find a guy worth introducing them to. gay guys always act like its offensive to them that im in the closet, but if they got an issue with it, i dont need to bother with them.

its been a great experience for me and even to others. i have a friend who is mildly homophobic. the kind who wants to be open minded but cringed when he heard about a gay wedding. we've become extremely close as friends and it never woudl have happened if id been out. and im confident when he finds out it will be just a minor 'whoa' before he gets over it now.

>>17458992
yeah i have a friend like that too. it sucks that people who don't want to be "the gay friend" feel like they can't be as honest about their sexuality. oh well

>>17459003

its not that we feel we 'cant be honest'. we jsut feel its better not to be. one day it might be okay, but honestly, i dont see the big deal.

by the time they find out my sexuality, if they ever do, its already too late. they already see me as a person. even if there wasnt this obvious distinction, there are subtle bondings that happen between presumably straight men that dont happen between gay and straight men.

being gay is literally a choice and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying

but why would you want to?

>>17458925
Hmm.

Maybe I am just desensitised to that kind of denial since being gay is "okay..and?" In my social circle.

It's like "you are gay, who cares? Be gay. It's fine. It's literally nothing."

>>17459066

sure, but
1) your social circle isnt the rest of the world, its not even the rest of your general vacinity
and
2) even people who say tehy are okay with gays still treat them differently.

no one wants to be 'gay'. they just want to be normal. you may say its normal, but that doesnt mean anyone else treats us like it is.

>>17458912
If you're a real bisexual, you're fucking lucky in my opinion. So many options.

In the same boat anon. Been for a while mainly attracted to other girls. I don't know what's going on anymore

>>17458868
>Can you explain the whole
>"I sucked a dick/I watch gay porn but am not gay" thing.

>It irks me to no end, how someone could be this delusional.

2 (possibly mutually exclusive) things:

1. Intense denial

OR

2. We are on 4chan where there is a notable lack of women bar the femanon heavy boards. Desperation + Lack of opportunity + Spiralling porn addiction = faggotry. I don't think most of 4chan are gay or even bi, just desperate.

>>17458855
I used to be 100% Straight
I call what happened "the prison effect", being isolated from women completely and having a very high sex drive and porn addiction. I often got bored with genres of porn very quickly and then traps started getting less and less repulsive.