Insomnia over suspicion of girlfriend cheating

>long distance girlfriend

ok man. there comes a point in long distance relationships where you either realize this shits never gonna work out or you go all in and one of you moves to the other in the next 3 months.

>>17457703
Why do you have these trust issues? Ask yourself that. Come up with an answer soon, because you're pushing her away. Read that again, YOU are pushing HER away with YOUR behavior. Why do you distrust her so?

Okay first off, big mistake asking if she's cheating. Do you honestly think she'll tell you the truth? Girls lie all the time, and asking if she's cheating just makes you look like a bitch. Trust your instinct and break up with her. It's either that, or you go a few more years without any sleep only to find out she was cheating on you the entire time while simultaneously lying about it. Break up with her man, it's the only way. Good luck.

>>17457713
:(
Not possible to move in together in the next two years. Actually we have been in a LDR of almost two years in a half. I went overseas first, and she just recently. We skype every day. Still I can't get this idea out of my head.

>>17457724

I wish I knew. And I'm aware that my behavior is killing the relationship. Still she behaves so understanding and patient that even this seems suspicious to me.

>>17457729

I also tried to do this, and she says that she doesn't want to, that she loves me and that this is just a problem I have to deal with. She only says she wants to marry me and be happy with me. I have dumped her before, and she experienced deep depression. We got back together after a year and a half, it was tough bc she was with someone else and didn't tell me when I was actively trying to get back together. I went overseas about 4 months after we finally got back and its been two years and a half since then.

>>17457767
dude wtf are you doing, she's using you man, She didn't tell you she was with another man after ya'll broke up? Break up with her now or I promise you that you'll regret it. Break up and stop talking to her.

>>17457703

>I have confronted her numerous times. She's begging me to trust her

If you've confronted her, she's told you she's not cheating and you still don't believe her you need to break up. Plain and simple.

>She recently turned off her smartphone after an argument, angry because I was smothering her with my paranoia.

The best way to drive your girlfriend into the arms of another man is to smother her with jealousy.

>Please help.

You need to seek therapy. You have obsessive and paranoid behaviors bordering mania. You need to talk through your trust issues with someone other than your girlfriend because you aren't capable of being unbiased about yourself or about her.

Therapist, ASAP. If you don't make an immediate drastic step to address these issues not only will this girl leave you but every girl you end up with in the future will leave you as well.

>>17457767
>it was tough bc she was with someone else and didn't tell me when I was actively trying to get back together

There it is, the origin of this distrust. I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. Break up with her, man. It's hopeless.

>>17457785

>She didn't tell you she was with another man after ya'll broke up?

They were broken up for a year and half. She had absolutely no obligation or reason to tell her insanely jealous ex-boyfriend that she was seeing someone new. Thats an idiotic thing to hold against her, anon.

Do you dislike women so much that you're willing to ignore all of OP's insane behavior and instead decide to crucify the girlfriend for dating someone else after her shitty boyfriend dumped her?

That makes no sense.

>>17457788

What to do then? break up or seek therapy in order to prevent her from leaving?

Are you serious about the mania thing? am I sick?

>>17457797
OP was trying to get back together with her and she was stringing him along

>>17457794

Why in the fuck would she tell her insane ex boyfriend who dumped her that she was dating someone new? They weren't together. OP was trying to get her back and she wasn't interested, obviously. I'm curious as how that is at all a deception.

If I were her I wouldn't of told him shit. If I were her I probably would of been afraid of him finding out because of how bat shit insane he is.

>>17457794

I guess this is true.

>>17457797

This is also true. I fact when I found out about the other guy and I was feeling so pissed and heartbroken she reply that exactly, that she wasn't in the obligation of sayng anything, specially after I put her through. Still, with a lot of effort we were back together.

>>17457803

Thats may be your /r9k/ analysis but if you read the thread you would more likely assume that OP was acting insane, was trying to get her back and she probably was hiding her new boyfriend from him so he didn't go complete schizo and stalk and murder them both.

>>17457797
But actually I wasn't behaving like this back then.

>>17457810

I wasn't behaving like an insane person back then. This is something new that took me by surprise.

File: 1394410775751.gif (983KB, 250x197px) Image search: [Google]

983KB, 250x197px

>>17457799

Seek therapy regardless. Your issues with trust, anger and anxiety are bigger than this relationship. Mania is definitely a thing and can be characterized by wild mood swings, anger, depression hyper sexual behavior and insomnia.

I'm really not trying to come down on you about this because there is obviously something going on with you and you are at the very least being objective enough to admit you have a problem.

I would highly recommend therapy. Even if it doesn't save your relationship it would definitely ease your girlfriend's mind to know that you were taking steps to address the problem with a professional.

I'm sure you've figured out at this point that trying to work through these issues by yourself isn't working.

>>17457820

Pardon me if I don't take your word for it. Either way, all I'm saying is when you break up with a girl you officially relinquish every right to being pissed off about her being with other men.

If you really didn't want her to find a new boyfriend you shouldn't of broken up with her.

Nobody has any obligation to keep their exes up to date about their love life. Thats stupid.

>>17457797
>>17457788
>>17457805

These posts are right.

>>17457821

I suffer from rhinotillexomania (insane nose picking) when I'm idle watching youtube videos, taking a dump or reading books for leisure. I have constant sexual thoughts, and since I have started behaving like this I masturbate almost every night. If I'm anxious and open a new browser tab I almost automatically start typing xvideos.com. I've always had tendency to procrastinate like crazy, even though I've done fairly well academically and professionally.
Do you have credentials to positively assert that I have a mental problem?

>>17457831

This too, especially since OP already said HE broke up with HER.

>>17457845
Are you trying to imply that this behavior doesn't warrant a mental health care provider? Or that everyone on /adv/ should have some sort of credential before giving advice?

>>17457831

I was trying so hard to be back with her, I was helping her a lot with many things and she received my help instantly, still refused to be back with me. I asked her to tell me if she was with somebody else and she said that she wasn't, that she just didn't want to be with me. She manipulated me to have my help, I resented that for several months to be honest, and I made this very clear to her. But she was very patient and supportive, and even came last year to live with me for three months, and she was lovely with me.

>>17457856

No, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry and I thank you for your input. I just want to know if I really have something that justifies professional help, and it is not a comment based on a light view of the situation. That's all.

And I wasn't like this before. It's not only my view on it. Even she says that I'm a rational person, that I shouldn't be behaving like an insane. This is really something new, not the biased view of an insane man.

>>17457857

It's always possible she was suspicious of YOU in terms of how much you actually wanted to be with her or if you would ditch her again when you felt like it. You threw her away like trash and expect her to instantly want to take you back? Without any proof that it's not just going to happen again? You blame her for getting together with someone after you broke her heart? How selfish can you be OP?

In fact, she probably was scared of you hurting her again, even though she still loved you.

>>17457889

You are right. What you are saying is one of the many things she said to me explaining why she refused to tell me about the other guy. And yes, I was a selfish bastard, and she suffered a lot. Still she forgave me and got back with me.

>>17457909

So she has left the past behind her and wants to move forward with you. If she were really cheating or as disloyal as you worry, there IS NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL she would continue to put up with this.

Lay the past to rest and move forward with her. Seek therapy to learn how to manage these jealous thoughts. I used to be extremely similar to you but I eventually realized that I may as well be punching her in the fucking face repeatedly because it hurt her so much to be questioned at every waking hour even though she devoted her life to me.

>>17457921

I have also thought about this, but then I rationalize it like this: she's cheating with a guy she doesn't consider for a serious relationship, only as a fuckbuddy, so there's no point in leaving me by this guy, who she will probably will never meet again.

>>17457932

That's not rationalizing, m8. That's your problem. You THINK you're rational because you can come up with these ways where she could cheat on you, even though her commitment to you shows anything but.

That is the very definition of irrational.


Go to a therapist. You are sick. And, if you worry I'm bullshitting you, I'm in a career that requires me to be a mandated reporter for physical, mental, and emotional abuse of children and young adults. You are mentally and emotionally abusing your significant other.

>>17457948

Just a moment ago she called me and she said she will keep it brief because her cellphone was about to die. But then I checked our facebook chat and she appears connected about five minutes ago. She was connected chatting with somebody else and leaves my messages as read. Are you telling me this is not fishy?

>>17457961

This right here is the kind of paranoid behavior and thinking thats driving your girlfriend up the fucking wall, man. You have severe trust issues that need to be addressed immediately.

Im not going to play into your paranoia and give you any sort of validation in tracking your girlfriend's movements and constantly confronting her about it. Its psycho, dude. You're acting crazy.

Get help, immediately.

>>17457961

Post a screen shot of the messages that you left her. That may indicate why she didn't answer.

I would assuage your worries about the other part, but you've proven that you don't want your girlfriend to be faithful and you would continue to "rationalize" her into being an evil, evil person whom you secretly hate for something she did when you two weren't even together. You're determined to find her doing something, even if you're the one pushing her away. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

What are you going to do if she IS cheating? Nothing? Leave her? Just do what you're going to do if it tortures you so much, because you're not listening to anyone in this thread.

File: 1373772321670.jpg (23KB, 568x394px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 568x394px

>>17457961

Has it ever occurred to you that the reason your girlfriend makes up reasons to stop talking to is not because she's cheating on you but your paranoid behavior is stifling to her and endlessly frustrating to work with?

Maybe she's not avoiding you because she's talking to someone else but because you're driving her insane and she doesn't want to deal with your insecurity anymore.

>>17457984

I am afraid, I've never been to a therapist, I can't believe this is so serious. I just want to sleep and I'm breaking.

>>17457703
Your requests are stupid and need to stop or she will leave you for real. You need therapy nigga, there's clearly a deeper issue than cheating here.

>>17458000

>I've never been like this before
>I haven't slept in 8 days
>I am invasive and controlling of another human being
>it's not that serious

This has to he bait

>>17457703
She is starting to think of Chads dick soon if you dont stop with this retarted childish behaviour lol. You are an irrational cunt.

>>17457993

I'm listening believe me. I can't talk about this with anyone else, I feel if I leave her this will free both of us, although the pain will be inmense. I'll get therapy, I just hope to be understood, this is a different world, but I guess therapists follow the same standards regardless of the country.

>>17457993

I wrote that if her cellphone was about to die why was she connected without answering to my messages. She just called me again saying that she was very busy, she just moved into a new city. And she was busy and couldn't answer. For the n-th time, she ask me to stop questioning everything, that she was getting tired.

break up with her man this hurts to read

You are such a cunt. You are abusing her. Break up with her and make it clear that its because you are immature.

>>17458139

OK, I understand that this is bothersome for her, but I don't see how could this be considered abuse.

>>17458000
Mate, you've killed the relationship. Just dump her and move on. It started out with you being jealous then it quickly sunk to furious fapping and nose picking rounded off by a healthy dose of negative things you've felt for several months about her motives to get you to help her and whether she would dare have a relationship while you weren't together for a year and a half.

Ask yourself, what exactly do you want her to do to prove she isn't cheating? Think about that very carefully. Imagine you were talking to her on the phone. What exactly are you going to ask her to do to prove she is faithful?

And here's the answer - there is NOTHING she can do to satisfy you. So end it, for your sanity and hers.

>>17458233
I'm so surprised, she just called me again now that she is settled in the new place finally. Her way of addressing me is completely lovely and understanding, despite all the harassment I have subjected her to. I'm going first hour Monday morning to get medical help, but I don't want to break up again. Despite my fucked up attitude I truly love her and I want to try making things work. If she finds somebody else to love I guess I'd have to bite the bullet and move on, with therapy is necessary, but I would like to try my best to make things work. Thank you all for your feedback, I guess I would've never had decided to go to the therapist on my own.

so afraid of losing what you don't even have? you got to get your shit together op