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How does one ACTUALLY friends????

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I don't think I've ever given this concept a thought but, how does one actually make new friends??

I'm 24 - live in NYC
Long story short
Found out 4 months ago my ex (who i dated for a year) cheated on me and fucked 4 times with a 'childhood friend'
One of our mutual friends knew and didn't tell me.
Haven't been reached out to by anybody really, except after all the fallout. One took me out to console me, said they knew how sensitive everything was but wanted to let me know the guy who cheated with ex is aware of the scope of things and feels horrible.

Only one of these friends who I somewhat respect has reached out to me. Only 3 times. Twice after the fallout and once a week ago since he's relocating and working somewhere else now.
have run into these old friends (how i see them now) casually. They ask me how I've been, have a drink with me w/e.
I understand their position; i understand none of this is their business, they have their lives and whatever. i'm not asking anything from them.
I just don't feel comfortable being friends with them while they treat him like nothing happened and joke and kick the shit or whatever.
I'm insecure. I don't know if this is coming off self-centered, sensitive, or whatever, but i just i feel like he's getting away with fucking me over and i simply can't be around that.
I've chosen to not associate myself with them at all.

4 months later now and things are still shit.
3 weeks into a new office job I haven't felt so alone in such a mundane atmosphere.
Come home and i'm simply not engaged. I can meet girls and whatnot through apps or whatever but i'm simply just trying to find people my age who are into music/art and i can make stuff with(i'm into the local punk/art scene here)
I haven't been to a show by myself in forever.I used to go to shows by myself all the time when i was 16 and was never able to make friends.
I know a couple of faces and will nod and say hello but i would never ask to hang out because i don't feel close enough to do that.
I only know one person that lives around who I consider a friend and actively hang out with but we're not close enough and I don't want to overstep in his circle and be this annoying overbearing douche.
I'm out of school and trying to find new similar people.

I know the reality that all people suck and what not. but i'm in a hole in this fucking city.
oof. get cucked right in the balls.
you're in NYC? go to the comedy cellar on their cheapest weekday.

damned, if you're looking for friends, just to have friends, you are doing it wrong.
Define a goal, sth that takes time and dedication. A marriage, a pilots-licence, building a boat. Now start your journey, and after some time see who can help you. You will experience stuff all the time and have someone to talk about. Maybe you can help someone out with their shit, once you've become an semi-expert. If you offer people a chance to feel useful, to have a purpose, they'll like you. At least the not so busy will.
Also most people have a latent alcoholism going on. Use that to your advantage. Invite some in for BBQ and give them a chance to drink. they will be thankful for that, if they're not total asshats.
fuck off.

if it makes you feel better. they don't sound like there were any friends at all. fuck em.

lol yeah. you got buds?? i'll be your bud
what's wrong with the people at work?

you can't be an elitist self-absorbed art jerk your whole life
nothing. they're nice but unrelatable.

I'm not looking for friends just to have friends. hell no. I'd rather be alone than force myself to hang out with some weird assholes. I'm trying to figure out how to find people and befriend people with the same w/o coming off as a weirdo.
same interests**

where da buds tho?
Join a hobby club and talk to people with similar interests, befriend people that way.
Struggling to figure out how to meet people?
Google meetup
Sign up
Join groups in your area
There you go.
you are that guy now op
Thread posts: 11
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