Gaining motivation

Motivation is unreliable. If you depend on it, you're not going to get a lot done.

Instead, work on discipline.

There are things you can do to make it easier. Work at the same time every day, preferably in the same place every day. Make it so work is as enjoyable as possible. Minimize distractions. Keep your work and play separate. And then just sit down and do it. Once you get past the first 15 minutes, it gets easier.

Make work a habit, instead of relying on inspiration or motivation.

>>17455730
Dumb question but how do I initiate this task?

>>17455730
And how do I continue to do a thing? I've tried all that stuff before but I tend to die out when the feelings of existential dread and depression come rolling in again.

>>17455735
Prep your station, prep your work, prep your self. Don't spend forever prepping or planning. Make it short and sweet. Spending a bunch of time preparing is another form of procrastination.

And then, just sit down and do it. It's that easy, and it's that hard. It's something that's going to take willpower to do.

The tendency is to procrastinate and to wait and to faff around until the last minute makes you frantically throw things together.

Instead of avoiding and avoiding until it's inevitable, you have to train yourself to charge headfirst at it. Sit down, and do it.

And remember, starting is the hardest part. And starting on the first day is going to be the hardest time. The brain has inertia, it's hard to get it to change direction. But once you do, it gets easier.

Get through the first 15 minutes. Once you're past that, it's easier. Get through the first day, once you're past that, it's easier. Once you turn it into a habit, it'll become practically second nature. Keeping things like the time and the place and the setup the same will train your brain to associate those things with work. In time, this will ease the transition and facilitate work mode.

You're likely also going to have to ease yourself into it. You're not going to be able to work all day, maybe even just an hour or two. But every time, push yourself to work more. When you get to a point where you go "ugh, I don't want to do this", make yourself work for 5-10 more minutes. Push through that ugh. It helps if you have a time goal or a completion goal to reach.

There will be a point where you will lose your drive even after working. If it's been a while, if you're stuck, if it's a shitty day, that happens. Just always try to push it that extra bit more. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and try again tomorrow. But try to make it work whenever you can.

>>17455787
Where do I obtain willpower?

>>17455797
That's what I mean by it's that easy and that hard.

It's simple, but you have to make it happen. You can't just find willpower. You have to dredge it up from somewhere inside yourself. It's that easy, and that hard.

You have to make yourself do it.

>>17455809
Yes but... how? Is there just something I can inject into my jugular to make me want to do something? Can I buy it at a store?

>You have to dredge it up from somewhere inside yourself
Yeah, last time I checked, there was nothing there.

>>17455821
Try thinking about you're future and the consequences.

>>17455821
My trick is to make work as enjoyable as possible, and also making sure I'm accountable. I listen to music so I'm entertained while I'm working. I livestream my work so I can't slack off (because of the audience), I have music playlists for different moods and for different energy levels. If I need energy I play something louder, something that makes me want to move/dance/do stuff. When I'm really struggling I have a caffeinated drink or a sugary snack as an extra boost.

>>17455787
Starting separates the (wo)men from the children.

Also, wow, good advice on 4chan.

Pussy money weed 4 motivators

>>17455836
Thinking about the future makes me depressed as fuck. It usually goes like this:
>fuck yes let's start a thing
>wow, this is hard but I'm working on it
>man, I'm going to be great when I'm better
>Wow, my energy is getting low but that's not a problem! I just need to keep up with it!
>wait, no. I need to keep going! I need to get better!
>come on, you fuck! Move! Do it! We're not going to get better!
>Why can't I move? Something must be wrong with me.
>Something is wrong with me
>I should fucking die

>>17455841
I can't do livestreams because I'm anxious. And doing things in front of people or showing my flaws increases my self hatred so that's not a good idea.

Also, music doesn't seem to help after a while. Everything just goes one ear and out the other when I get acclimated to something.

>>17455855
You might want to get on a anti-depressant if you already aren't. I was the same way but therapy and medicine helped alot.

>>17455861
I currently am on an antidepressant. I'm having problems with the new one I'm trying so I'm talking to my psych. Nothing really seems to give me energy afaik. It just makes me anxious and paranoid.

Haven't been to my therapist in a bit, though.

>>17455855
You need to find your own work flow. It sounds like you've got a good start but you sabotage yourself partway through.

Everybody's magic combination is going to be different, you just need to find yours.

Have you tried working in shorter bursts? Work for half an hour, short break, then another half hour, and another short break? That may be easier for you to so than one long stream of consistent work.

Another thing to keep in mind is that depression/anxiety/second guessing is very good at sucking away energy. And if it's a full-blown mental illness kind, that's even worse. Any kind of illness, whether physical or mental, is going to make it harder. Getting treatment for it will help.

>>17455855
You're a bitch

>>17455873
Shorter bursts don't really work for me. I mostly binge or marathon activities. Shorter bursts just cause me to put it off longer.

And yeah, it's full blown as far as I know. I'm thinking about changing my treatment if possible, though.

>>17455878
Preaching to the choir, mate.

>>17455716
Boosting your self-esteem does help boost motivation. You can't get yourself to do something if you think you can't do it.

>>17455879
Good idea.

I have to go to bed now, but do the best you can until you get that depression stuff sorted out. As long as you keep working and pushing and trying, you're not a failure in my book.

And next time those "Something is wrong with me, I should die, I'm worthless" thoughts crop up, tell them to go fuck themselves. A lot of people have those thoughts. A good way to combat them if to let them happen, dismiss them with logic or a general "fuck you" and then move on. pretend those thoughts are somebody else being an asshole.

>>17455920
How do I obtain this thing called "self esteem"?

>>17455921
I feel like I am because I don't work hard enough. I know I can get better if I worked harder but my brain is so fucking broken.

I tried dismissing those thoughts with logic but they were completely logical in my head. I tried to ignore it but they always come back like herpes.

>>17455939
Maybe from a psychotherapist

>>17455821
Physical exercise helps. Better eating habits do too. And positive social contacts - if you're the sum of the 5 people you most closely associate with, getting closer to a couple driven individuals can change you.

Anyway, do all that in moderation, or it will count as procrastinating, and you don't want to do that anymore.

>>17455968
>Physical exercise helps.
I have to force myself to walk the dog everyday...
>Better eating habits do too.
I can't even make myself eat at times. I don't even think I had dinner today now that I think about it...

>And positive social contacts - if you're the sum of the 5 people you most closely associate with, getting closer to a couple driven individuals can change you.
Lol, I've been avoiding my phone because I skipped out on a thing I was supposed to go to because I'm garbage and probably fucked my friend's self esteem up so I'm pretty much going to cut them off because I'm too shit for them.

>>17455980
From someone who has been on the receiving end of a friend cutting themselves off from me because they felt like they were too shit:

It sucks. I wanted to be friends and they just ghosted me because of something like that. They weren't actually thinking about how I felt at all. They just assumed that I didn't want to be friend because they hated themselves. But I liked them, and it hurt. I didn't even know if they were okay and I had to track them down just to make sure they were even alive.

If you do this to your friends, you are not acting for their benefit or doing what's best for them. You are putting words in their mouth and assuming what they want. That's not a nice thing to do.

If they are your friend, if they invite you to things, if they want to hang out, they like you. No matter what you think.

OP, you need help. You need to work on your depression and your self esteem and your inner critic. You need to talk to a professional, and possibly get medication.

Don't let your brain ruin your life like this.

>>17456839
Nah, they deserve better. I've been fucking up and it's definitely been putting a toll on my friend's self esteem because they believe that I don't like them. I like them. I honestly do. My brain is just fucked.

I just want to quarantine myself from them so I can be the person I used to be or even better.

>>17457039
The long and short of it that they think you don't like them because you're behaving like you don't. And you're doing it "for their own good"? Listen to yourself, that makes no sense. You are making yourself a problem because you think yourself already a problem. You are blaming your fucked brain, which is at least partially true, but you are using it as an excuse. You need to work to make yourself better. Not just sit back and listen to your brain when it's a bastard and pray for change to fall into your lap. You have to be the one to make the change.

What you need to do is apologize to your friend, explain what is happening with your mental state right now, and trust that your friend actually likes you and wants to be friends with you.

And quarantining yourself from your friends is not the way to get better. Social isolation causes and worsens depression. This is proven fact.

>>17457125
> And you're doing it "for their own good"? Listen to yourself, that makes no sense.
Actually, it makes complete sense in my head. I am causing them problems due to my previous actions. Therefore, if I remove myself, it should relieve them of their problems. I'm going to explain this to them soon, of course. But you know, brain is fucked.

>You are making yourself a problem because you think yourself already a problem.
Because I am. And I'm currently trying to fix myself.

> You are blaming your fucked brain, which is at least partially true, but you are using it as an excuse. You need to work to make yourself better. Not just sit back and listen to your brain when it's a bastard and pray for change to fall into your lap. You have to be the one to make the change.
lol, I self harm to get shit done in my life. I'm definitely trying to make some change.

>What you need to do is apologize to your friend, explain what is happening with your mental state right now, and trust that your friend actually likes you and wants to be friends with you.
Oh yes, I'm definitely going to do that. I already have a date where I'm going to mail some stuff with a letter that explains everything because I can't really voice my feelings correctly.

>>17457146
>I already have a date where I'm going to mail some stuff
Fuck that. Send him a text right now.

>>17458124
Ugh, why?

>>17458124
t. OP's friend

>>17457125
Not the other Anon, but OP, you have to get mad. I mean more mad than you've ever been in your entire freaking life and channel that crap. You have to turn your anger into pure resolve and tell yourself from THIS very second forward you won't take a single damn thing else off your messed up brain. That you will change yourself even if you have to suffer every goddamn day for the next five years if need be. You have to be willing to change even if you DIE trying to. Even if you fall ten times or one hundred you have to willing to get back EVERY SINGLE TIME and say "fuck everything against me in this world that want's to break me! I WILL CHANGE!"

Do that everyday until it comes as natural as breathing, and maybe then you'll see the beginning of a change in yourself.

>>17459270
Quoted the wrong guy I meant: >>17455716

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6KB, 493x402px

>>17459270
Why do you think I self harm? For the sake of a hobby? I do it to get shit done.

If I could get someone to stab me in the stomach every time I slacked off, I definitely would.

>>17459568
I find it very frustrating talking to people like you, who would rather stab themselves with sharp objects than force themselves to get up and do something. The answer isn't easy to hear or do, get off your ass and keep PUSHING.

>>17459706
Did you even read the thread? I do it to force myself. It keeps me focused. It brings me out of my head and keeps me in the real world so I can get shit done.

I am pushing. I'm doing this so I can keep moving. It's like a crop to a horse.